AIBU to think that teachers who are parents of girls favour girls?

[froggydoggy]

And teachers who have boys favour boys?

My son is having a zoom lesson with his teacher, over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that she speaks to and asks the girls questions far more than she acknowledges the boys. My ds is a clever boy, puts his hand up when asked etc. But barely ever gets chosen, nor do any of the other boys. The teacher is the parent of three girls.

I have a much older child and over the years have noticed that teachers often seem to treat children who are the same sex as their own favourably.

From your experiences AIBU?

@OverTheRainbow88

I make a conscience effort to try and include all, and not let certain kids monopolise the discussion, regardless of sex

This is the way it should be, I really don't feel comfortable with the 'positive' discrimination in the classroom that some have suggested could be the reason for the problem.

No, that's nonsense and it's not about re-addressing balance for me either.

When I ask a question, I already have a good idea of which child or group of children I am targeting with it.

For some it is to check understanding, for others it is to deepen it or to make them consider a different aspect (this is usually a more open question), sometimes it is simply to make sure that the little blighters are actually listening to me.

Interesting, IDK.

I have three sons and no daughters; I do tend to find it easier to have difficult conversations with male camhs patients than female camhs patients. I wouldn't say I favour boys, but I think being a parent of only sons does mean that on some level I feel more comfortable interacting with them.

I think most feminists would say that the gender bias DOES need addressing. Boys ARE asked to respond to questions more than girls, they ARE pushed towards STEM subjects mode, they DO take up more space (in the playground). This problem needs addressing at primary school. What better place to start?

@Italiandreams

Absolutely not! What about teachers who don’t have their own children? Teachers generally will chose who answers based on their knowledge of the children , checking understanding, boosting confidence etc

Exactly. I don't have children. I therefore felt it necessary to hate all my students equally.

I think you've confused equality of opportunity with equality of outcome, OP.

Crikey, the mental gymnastics some people will go to in order to teacher-bash is astounding!

@MaskingForIt

Crikey, the mental gymnastics some people will go to in order to teacher-bash is astounding!

This is ridiculousI come from a family of teachers, my best friend is also one. And before anyone asks, my teacher parents and grandparent have both sexes for children, my friend has none.

I’m not sure if its because the teacher has a child of a certain sex but I have noticed some teachers favour girls.

What about teachers who don't have children, or have children of both sexes.

Thinking about my own zoom calls, it's possible that I spend slightly longer talking to the kids - of either sex - who talk about something I can get on board with. So I might only have limited responses to a child talking to me about fortnite or pokemon, but might be able to engage a bit more on Harry Potter or geocaching.

I try to make it equal. It is very difficult to be precise about it. I might make a special effort with the shy kids, or the ones whose parents have told me that they're struggling. I might limit the minutes spent with the louder, know-it-all type who just wants to make the others feel bad by bragging about how easy the work was.

Individual teachers may favour one or the other, although I don't think it is common, but the system as a whole massively favours boys. More than that it favours NT kids of either sex.
And as we are declaring, Mum of both, former primary school teacher, now working in local government inclusion.

@MaskingForIt

Crikey, the mental gymnastics some people will go to in order to teacher-bash is astounding!

How is this teacher bashing ?

I think that’s a weird conclusion to come to. I have one of each. I prefer well behaved children rather than poorly behaved-regardless of sex. My own two are well behaved at school, at home not so much.

So according to op the only teachers who treat the students fairly are those who have son's and daughters of their own??
When a teacher asks a question, she generally already knows who amongst her class knows the correct answer, who may have misunderstood and who has just not got it. That's what their direction is based on. If your DC is quietly confident then more often than not he won't get a direct question.

I don't believe that the majority of teachers would do this at all, nor would they have an agenda at all apart from perhaps asking those that need encouragement to contribute or might add an answer to the conversation that's different to those already given. I've watched my sons teacher and she will make sure she has asked every child on zoom a question each and she is very good at letting the more shy ones warm up first before asking them

We pick the ones who we need to check their understanding, the ones who don't often put their hand up and we want to encourage them to do it more often
This makes sense it is how I remember it from school 30 years ago. My nephews teacher often picked him she said she would see him physically squirming not to get picked he needed to learn to speak confidently.

Have you checked out the boy/girl divide of the class? I am aware of a current primary class with 6 girls and 24 boys. With your logic, anyone listening would assume that teacher favoured the boys.

This online stuff is shite. Utter shite. We are doing our best. Stop trying to make us into monsters and actually help a bit, eh?

I alternate gender and most teachers I know do -unless the class has 90% girls -in which case more girls get asked.

Interestingly research shows that in a 50/50 class -on average a teacher spends more time dealing with boys than girls. Mainly due to behaviour aspects.

Surely your child isn’t being chose because he is ‘confident and bright’, the teacher is trying to bring some of the shyer children to the forefront for once. People as so quick to see the negatives in every situation.

The gender bias absolutely needs addressing. The reason it exists is because it's ingrained from childhood. If if your child is losing confidence because he doesn't get picked to answer every question maybe he needs to learn things don't revolve around him? Other children also need the support and engagement. Teachers won't choose the children who know every answer every time. They know they understand the content. Questions help to bring the quiet children out of their shells and check their understanding.

Just this minute off a call with my DS and his teacher. She is a mother to two girls. I didn't feel in anyway she was bias toward either gender. Never noticed it with my DD either.

This is what happens when teachers have parents in the classroom when they are trying to teach. Parents are so blinded by their needs of their own child, they have no perspective of what it's like to look after 30 at a time.
It opens up teachers to unfair scrutiny at a time when even Ofsted don't observe individual lessons.