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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you ask your dp to shave?

43 replies

Sinful8 · 19/01/2021 04:51

Aibu to ask if you ask your dp to shave his face?

Yabu - I don't ask dp to shave
Yanbu - I ask dp to shave

OP posts:
IncorrigibleTitmouse · 19/01/2021 04:55

I was so upset when DH shaved his lovely beard off I asked him to grow it back immediately! Grin

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 19/01/2021 05:06

I suppose the real question here is whether we have a right to ask someone to alter/not alter their body to our preferences though, and I’d say no. As much as my aesthetic preference is for DH to have a full beard (because he looks like a teenager otherwise...) if he decided he didn’t want it anymore I’d just have to put up with it! Same as if I wanted to cut/dye my hair, get a piercing, gain/lose weight etc.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/01/2021 05:14

DP is really lazy about shaving. Doesn't do it for weeks. I wouldn't insist he shaves but I do refuse to kiss him when it's too long. He can do what he wants with his body, but I'll also do what I like with mine.

LaBellina · 19/01/2021 05:23

Won't ask him to shave but won't allow him to kiss me either if he hasn't for too long because unfortunately my skin gets red and irritated from the friction with his heard. Shame because I love seeing a handsome man with a heard 😍

LaBellina · 19/01/2021 05:24

Beard not heard obvs

Tinkerbell456 · 19/01/2021 05:28

LaBellina, my attitude totally! My other half looks cute with stubble but it is like kissing a cheese grater.

peak2021 · 19/01/2021 07:21

I'm saddened if anyone feels the need to, and their DH doesn't either have some pride in appearance or doesn't because he thinks it's fashionable to look awful.

ivfbeenbusy · 19/01/2021 07:24

You'd need to ask yourself how you'd feel if your husband asked you to shave? Would you feel offended? If so then you have your answer.....

For what it's worth I hated my husbands beard and probably made it clear I didn't like it but I wouldn't tell Him he had to get rid of it

Falcone · 19/01/2021 07:31

No, my partner and I don't dictate the way the other looks. I wouldn't tolerate being told what to do with my body hair so why should he?

june2007 · 19/01/2021 07:40

Unless someone is genuinly looking unkept then one shouldn,t be asking someone else to shave. You can say I prefer you with a beard/without but don,t tel someone what to do.

JorisBonson · 19/01/2021 07:43

No because he has a beautiful beard.

Should you have to ask anyone to do something like that though?

HNY2021 · 19/01/2021 07:43

No it’s his body his choice, he has no right to tell be how to look either.

Coulddowithanap · 19/01/2021 08:06

I ask my dh not to shave.. He has a lovely beard. I remember the days when he did shave, used to really irritate my skin as the slightest regrowth of stubble and I'd never expect him to shave every day.

Brefugee · 19/01/2021 08:20

His body his choice. However if you want him to shave because you get beard rash in delicate places, for eg, you're well within your rights not to let his stubble near those places.

In our house it goes like this "well, you're looking a bit Cap'n Birdseye/Wild Man Of Borneo/ZZ Top" and he does what he wants. (I like the beard though - he does use special beard conditioner on it and it is lovely and soft)

Heartlantern2 · 19/01/2021 08:22

I ask him to shave, I hate beards with a passion! He doesn’t listen though as he won’t be told what he will and won’t do. I obviously admire him for that but god, do I hate beards!!

DisgruntledPelican · 19/01/2021 08:24

Same as @IncorrigibleTitmouse, I ask him not to! But he does because too much stubble irritates his skin. I love kissing him with a beard though.

Realistically, it’s his body so his choice.

Heartlantern2 · 19/01/2021 08:24

I also don’t kiss him when he has a beard, my mouth area is so sensitive and I actually end up with what can only be described as a red moustache and goatee! Stays red for hours too so I just don’t kiss him at all anymore

Weebitawks · 19/01/2021 08:26

With the state of my pits and legs and fanny ? I'd be one cheeky twat !

curiouslypacific · 19/01/2021 08:29

DH never grows a full beard, so he's either clean shaven or stubbly if he hasn't bothered for a few days. His stubble is sand-paper like so I'll mention if it's uncomfortable when he's snuggling up to/kissing me.

He's happy to prioritise my comfort over his can't-be-arsed-to-shave-ness. So no, I don't tell him to, but I also don't hold back in telling him (nicely) when something is uncomfortable for me.

I don't care about the aesthetic - that's his choice. If he had baby-soft fur, I'd not be fussed in the slightest. If we're going out somewhere nice (ha if only!) he's enough of an adult to shave and dress without need of my input.

waterlego · 19/01/2021 08:30

Neither DH nor I ask each other to shave. I love beards anyway. 😍

VinterKvinna · 19/01/2021 08:31

I dont mind the look of a beard, but kissing someone with a beard actually makes me feel sick, I cant bear it at all

Franticbutterfly · 19/01/2021 08:39

Yes,I do ask because I don't like getting stabbed in the face with prickly beard hairs.

Eleganz · 19/01/2021 09:00

@IncorrigibleTitmouse

I was so upset when DH shaved his lovely beard off I asked him to grow it back immediately! Grin
Didn't you get the memo? MN hates beards Grin
afaloren · 19/01/2021 09:02

I love DH’s beard so I’d be gutted if he shaved but I’d have to get used to it as he gets to be in charge of his own face. I suppose Wink

LaBellina · 19/01/2021 09:03

@Tinkerbell456 a cheese grater 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Now that's an excellent description for it 😁😁😁😁