Paying your respects by roadside attire.

[Donewith2021]

Hi all, apologies for the wrong section. Posting here for traffic.

In my local area many people are paying respects to those lost by the road side on their last route from their homes etc whilst following social distancing. I assume this is the same everywhere in the country. It really helps it’s generally quiet here and works well and people social distance with no problem.

Anyway. I haven’t been to many funerals let alone on the roadside.

How do you dress? I don’t feel it would be right to wear formal funeral attire as you aren’t actually attending the service? But worry about being too casual?

Have 2 people to say my last goodbyes to on the roadside and don’t know how to dress.

Any advice for someone that just doesn’t have a clue 😭

Apologises for wrong section again.

Dark clothes and take your hat off.

I would just avoid anything too frivolous, such as logo t-shirts, or obviously 'scruffy' such as ripped jeans and if you are wearing a hat, take it off.

No need to apologise. I would wear my smart overcoat over normal clothes and shoes/boots not trainers. Head bows as the cortège passes and as pp says, hat removed if you're wearing one.

I'm sorry for your losses.

I'm really sorry for your losses, it sounds very tragic.

I think when in doubt, err on the side of formality. So I'd dress as for a funeral, but with appropriate footwear for grass verges and sans hat.

... and I'm sorry to hear you have lost two people.

I had one in high summer and one last week. I just wore normal clothes. Avoided strappy tops for the summer one but basically everyday clothes.

It's freezing cold

Just wear a big coat and no-one will have a clue what's under it.

Last week I stood outside the funeral Directors to pay my respects to my late mum's friend. I had leggings a hoodie and trainers on.
I've seen lots of funerals in the cemetery recently with people paying their respects all with their normal clothes on. Only the immediate family were dressed for a funeral black tie etc.

as PP have said - smart not too casual. i attended one recently and wore black trousers (smart) and dark jacket. So sorry for your loss

As others have said, dress reasonably smartly - nice coat, smart footwear.

Sorry for your loss.

I wore a navy coat, shoes and tights.

I honestly don't think it matter. Ten years ago we were going to the crematorium for Mums last trip. A number of people were at the roadside, neighbours who were too frail to make the journey, the owner of the hairdressers she went to every week, the local florist that Mum used. All we saw was people pay g their respects. Head bowed as the funeral card went past. We were touched that they had done that

Dress for the weather - a decent big coat is fine - no one will see underneath anyway

Long before covid, funeral wear here (Scotland) had become much less formal. I haven't seen black clothes or even a black tie, for years.
Some families ask for attendees to wear bright colours, or a flower.

One that I went to, the deceased used to wear a terrible collection of very loud shirts; think psychedelic 1960's, and Hawaii. We used to tease him about them. At his funeral, every male member of the extended family wore one of the shirts.

Thanks all. One is an old friend who died tragically and another is a more distant relative. No one I was particularly close to in more recent years but feel that I should go and of course social distance.

At the age of 30 I only went to me first funeral early last year - at the time it was a normal funeral and this is out of my depth.

I’ll figure it out! Didn’t want to look too over dressed by the road but didn’t want to look like a right scruff either.

I think I’ll go with nice boots. I have lots of boots. Maybe a dress and tights or a top and leggings ( I have a brand new pair that will be perfect). Don’t really have any smart trousers, not any that will look good with boots anyway and my black coat which is pretty smart and a scarf maybe?

I get stressed on what to wear anywhere (social anxiety) so you can imagine how I feel about a funeral! Seems trivial fretting about what to wear when their families are going through hell 😭

I did this a couple of months ago, for a fellow runner from my running club. I wore my club tshirt. Lots of us from the club were out along the route of the cortège and did the same.

Not sure if this is coming too late but what you've said will be perfect OP.

I've had a few this past few months and wore thick tights/leggings and boots, a simple black jersey dress and a dark coat. I also wore a hat just to take it off. Lots of people wore dark clothes, though not too smart. Most women wore casual dark clothing and coats, men wore either jeans and smart shirts or trousers and shirt. DH wore black jeans, smart shirt and coat.

I don't think women need to remove their hat. That is only for men. Traditionally it was seen as rude for a woman to be seen in public without a hat. Obviously do so if you want though

I think others have answered and your decisions are appropriate. Sorry to read of your loss. Try and remember all the good times with them, and I hope at some point in the future there is a time when those who loved them can gather together.

@SnackSizeRaisin

I don't think women need to remove their hat. That is only for men. Traditionally it was seen as rude for a woman to be seen in public without a hat. Obviously do so if you want though

Ah where I'm from it's traditional for everyone to wear a hat just to remove it. I suppose it's regional though?

Thank you all 💗

I've never heard of women taking their hats off - I've only seen it as a man thing.

@whatismyusername29/@Donewith2021

Sorry for your loss.

What did you decide on the end? I'm not going to the actual funeral because of lockdown/ avoiding gatherings etc but if I walk for 10 mins the procession will pass by the main street so wondering what other people wore given it is Winter? Thinking as other suggested, just coats and boots really!

Having lost my mum not too long ago (just pre covid) I can tell you I was just overwhelmed to see who had taken the time to come. I didn’t care what they were wearing. Feeling people loved her and loved us as a grieving family was so comforting. Being there is so much more important than what you wear - don’t stress over it. Sorry for your losses x

Here people are wearing their normal clothes and men take off hats. We lost a close family friend a few months ago and it was quite nice seeing the roads lined with people.