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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradesman asking for a sandwich

592 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 18/01/2021 15:49

I’ve had a tradesman working on the outside of my property today. Got here about 11.30, job was about a couple of hours worth of work. About 1200 I went out and asked if I could get him a tea or coffee. He answered “Tea, white with two please, would you be able to knock me up a cheese sandwich while your there?”
Now, admittedly I’m rubbish at saying no at the best of times and I wasn’t expecting this so obliged, even returning to check if he would like pickle/tomato etc with it.”
Dp thinks I’ve lost the plot and he was being grabby and to be honest I’ve only ever made drinks with the odd biscuit before, the only exception being when we had an extension built which was a much longer project and I outdone make them bacon sandwiches on a Friday morning if I wasn’t working.
Would you have made a sandwich?

OP posts:
Ohbuggeroffcovid · 21/01/2021 18:21

We used to call those a one eye!

Imiss2019 · 21/01/2021 18:23

@Ohbuggeroffcovid

We used to call those a one eye!
That means something completely different where I’m from
ArabellaScott · 21/01/2021 18:58

@PigletJohn

I met an elderly gentleman who apparently used to be a professional musician.

The first thing he said to me was "I'm Hank Marvin" so I felt obliged to make him a sandwich.

Grin
Tzimi · 21/01/2021 19:52

@rowmaccerd Exactly! When I was working as a handyperson, I had so much work, that I could pick & choose who I did work for. Why on earth should I go back to someone who was rude to me, or took ages to pay? Naturally, I'd prefer to work for customers who were polite, and treated me well...

trulydelicious · 21/01/2021 20:04

@Tzimi

Why on earth should I go back to someone who was rude to me, or took ages to pay

The tradesman is being rude to the OP in this case, asking if she could 'knock him up a sandwich' without any explanation.

As far as we know, the OP has not withdrawn payment

lottiegarbanzo · 21/01/2021 20:15

Well, what I have learnt from this thread, is that that hilarious old chapter in ones standard etiquette guide, on 'how to talk to tradesmen', has, once updated just a tad, never been more necessary!

cittabassa · 21/01/2021 21:46

Why on earth should I go back to someone who was rude to me, or took ages to pay

Obviously not. Where has anyone on this thread said you should?

ILoveMyBernina · 21/01/2021 21:53

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.

TurquoiseDress · 21/01/2021 21:58

Would he have asked your husband the same question?

This is the big question!

HighHambross · 21/01/2021 22:04

Unless I'm busy doing something I usually forceably offer tradesmen/workmen a drink by asking if they're in having milk and sugar in their tea or coffee. It's just a lovely gesture and it doesn't take me 3 minutes to do. It might be the Only kind gesture they get all day/week. So why not?

The sandwich isn't an issue for me either. If it was then I would politely make up an excuse as to why they couldn't have one but I wouldn't go as far as thinking they were being rude/cheeky etc

HighHambross · 21/01/2021 22:05

@ILoveMyBernina

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.
Sadly, that doesn't surprise me at all.
TurquoiseDress · 21/01/2021 22:26

But if we have a tradesperson over, we always offer a tea/coffee & biscuits, it's just basic manners & hospitality, even if we are paying them to do work for us!

LaceyBetty · 21/01/2021 22:51

@ILoveMyBernina

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.
Well that is ridiculous. And she should have demanded water at the very least. Not at all them same situation. This man was carrying out two hours of work. Not comparable.
BeautyAndTheBump1 · 21/01/2021 23:03

Never been asked before, but i always offer so...in mornings i always offer bacon butties. Supply them with tea and biscuits. My jouner stayed until 10:30pm on a saturday night one night, so we brought him a dominoes and he ate it at our dining table with us and had a good chat. I take after my mother, shes a feeder too.

Devora13 · 21/01/2021 23:29

Just knock a few quid off his bill. Mark it 'Food' and 'Service charge.' But seriously, what if he'd had some kind of reaction and blamed your food?

Wheresmykimchi · 22/01/2021 00:22

@Devora13

Just knock a few quid off his bill. Mark it 'Food' and 'Service charge.' But seriously, what if he'd had some kind of reaction and blamed your food?
Do people really do that?
HoppingPavlova · 22/01/2021 01:07

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.

Your friend didn’t think to take a large water bottle? No way I’d be drinking a glass of water at someone’s house I didn’t know. I have no idea if their idea of cleaning a glass means a 2 sec rinse under cold water, a proper hand wash or a dishwasher job. No thanks. I would have thought in that profession common sense would dictate a water bottle that could be refilled as necessary!

Newfor2021 · 22/01/2021 01:10

This has actually made me laugh out loud with the sheer cheeky fuckery of him!

Wheresmykimchi · 22/01/2021 02:23

@HoppingPavlova

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.

Your friend didn’t think to take a large water bottle? No way I’d be drinking a glass of water at someone’s house I didn’t know. I have no idea if their idea of cleaning a glass means a 2 sec rinse under cold water, a proper hand wash or a dishwasher job. No thanks. I would have thought in that profession common sense would dictate a water bottle that could be refilled as necessary!

Oh you cannot be serious.
PeggyHill · 22/01/2021 02:24

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.

Sorry but I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic. If I was in labour I would not be playing host. I would expect the midwife to just go and get a glass of water herself from my kitchen. If she didn't know where the glasses were she should have asked at a calm moment. Utterly ridiculous to expect a labouring woman to be offering refreshments. I can't believe I'm having to even explain this...

I hope you aren't going to tell me that she then asked the woman for a cheese sandwich and was rudely refused, just because the baby happened to be ripping it's way out of her vagina at that moment? Ah, this young generation, no manners, eh?

OldGreyBoots · 22/01/2021 03:20

I think he was a bit cheeky to ask for something specific without prompting, but I'd have done it!

For what it's worth, my parents had some work done in December, both had been popping in and out to see how things were progressing, and it was my DF that they asked for teas rather than DM, so some don't mind who they ask Smile

HoppingPavlova · 22/01/2021 03:47

Oh you cannot be serious.

Oh, yeah very much so and can’t believe taking a water bottle like so many others do is such an imposition?

squeekums · 22/01/2021 03:48

@Mandy80

I’m shocked at the number of people lacking kindness at such a simple request. We never know what’s going on for another person. I would guess he arrived to start work at 11.30am instead of going for his lunch, to ensure he got to all his jobs that day. He’s a human being, at work over lunchtime, a little snack of two slices of bread with some cheese is hardly asking too much. A little compassion please!
I start work at 5pm, should i be asking customers to bring me in some dinner? If not, why is it expected that a tradie gets fed

Many work over meal times and dont expect to be waited on

Sinful8 · 22/01/2021 04:08

@PeggyHill

I have a friend who is a retired Midwife. She once spent 10 hours at a house caring for a woman in labour. She wasn't offered so much as a glass of water.

Sorry but I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic. If I was in labour I would not be playing host. I would expect the midwife to just go and get a glass of water herself from my kitchen. If she didn't know where the glasses were she should have asked at a calm moment. Utterly ridiculous to expect a labouring woman to be offering refreshments. I can't believe I'm having to even explain this...

I hope you aren't going to tell me that she then asked the woman for a cheese sandwich and was rudely refused, just because the baby happened to be ripping it's way out of her vagina at that moment? Ah, this young generation, no manners, eh?

Erm I think maybe she was expecting the partner/family to offer not the lady in labour
Tzimi · 22/01/2021 04:32

@Devora13 That's just mean! He'd then be entitled to add the cost of petrol to get to your house onto his bill, as well as the cost of hurting his feelings!

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