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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tradesman asking for a sandwich

592 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 18/01/2021 15:49

I’ve had a tradesman working on the outside of my property today. Got here about 11.30, job was about a couple of hours worth of work. About 1200 I went out and asked if I could get him a tea or coffee. He answered “Tea, white with two please, would you be able to knock me up a cheese sandwich while your there?”
Now, admittedly I’m rubbish at saying no at the best of times and I wasn’t expecting this so obliged, even returning to check if he would like pickle/tomato etc with it.”
Dp thinks I’ve lost the plot and he was being grabby and to be honest I’ve only ever made drinks with the odd biscuit before, the only exception being when we had an extension built which was a much longer project and I outdone make them bacon sandwiches on a Friday morning if I wasn’t working.
Would you have made a sandwich?

OP posts:
InvisibleToEveryone · 19/01/2021 11:38

Lunch? Nope.

Tea, coffee, squash, biscuits? Yep.

We had tree surgeons here once taking down a massive dead tree, on the hottest day ever, that day I made sure to have lots of ice cold water and squash and big bucket pool thing full of cold water to wash down in that wasn't for my benefit at allWink

Tzimi · 19/01/2021 11:40

@HoppingPavlova Lol, that's a bit mean, deducting the cost of the sandwich materials from the bill! As an ex-handyperson myself, I know this kind of work can be very tiring & stressful, so any offers of a little food and/or drink are very welcome!

Fizbosshoes · 19/01/2021 11:40

I wonder if female trades people get a MN "huge salad" as opposed to the default bacon sandwich...? Grin

EBearhug · 19/01/2021 11:45

And on the modern slavery thing, you do know they are forced to work in many places and types of job. But I doubt anyone in that situation would either be working alone or have the confidence or English to ask directly for food in that way.

The point about the Archers storyline is that they are very much British, and that the stereotype of them being trafficked from Eastern Europe or elsewhere is often not the case. They researched the storyline well, according to people who work with combatting modern slavery, so it's based on what can really happen, not just fiction.

trulydelicious · 19/01/2021 13:03

@SmeleanorSmellstrop

What a sad state the world is in where we would deny someone a simple sandwich if we could afford to share

Hasn't it occurred to you that it's likely the tradesman is making more per hour than the person who's hiring him? - think plumbers, locksmiths, etc

SnoozyLou · 19/01/2021 13:05

@SmeleanorSmellstrop

I completely agree. He should have brought his cheese sandwiches with him, and offered one to OP.

trulydelicious · 19/01/2021 13:06

I would offer a drink out of courtesy (as I would do with anyone visiting), but this idea that a tradesman is begging for food because he's starving is bonkers

HerRoyalNotness · 19/01/2021 13:09

[quote Tzimi]@HoppingPavlova Lol, that's a bit mean, deducting the cost of the sandwich materials from the bill! As an ex-handyperson myself, I know this kind of work can be very tiring & stressful, so any offers of a little food and/or drink are very welcome![/quote]
I had a handyman come in and offered him tea. He said no as he brought his own thermos etc.. the reason being is one job he was own the owner offered him tea throughout the day very kindly, then at the end unkindly deducted all the teas off his bill! Bonkers, but it does happen

AuntyMabelandPippin · 19/01/2021 13:12

My builder bought me a cake last week when he went for his lunch.

It was absolutely lovely. Grin

saffire · 19/01/2021 13:22

My dad was lucky if most places offered a glass of water! Most places wouldn't even let him fill up his own kettle!

cateycloggs · 19/01/2021 13:36

Oh yes EBearhug, i did have a doubt about the English speaking point as soon as I posted. There have been many Irish labourers discovered in dire conditions and recent cases in Eastern England and/or Yorkshire I think. Not to mention young people being coerced into drug dealing and prostitution.
I should have not have said that as I have had the experience of living very close (in the same house ) as gang members involved in very seriously criminal activity and I was scared to say anything for fear of reprisals. Believe me I was not laughing then, was bloody angry.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/01/2021 14:35

I'm always caught with this... On the one hand my mums voice... '' They're guests in our house... We should stop what we're doing an offer then drinks and biscuits...''

And thinking... Why on earth should my day be interrupted so I can perpetuate the patriarchy...

And then, if I'm paying them a day rate and they're sloping off for over an hour to get food, then it may be in my interests to give them a roll to keep them working Grin

Wanderlust20 · 19/01/2021 14:36

He's a CF no doubt!! Different if you offered.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/01/2021 14:36

PS although it it's very hot/cold weather and they're here for a long day... I'll give them a keetle /tea bags and squash...

Thats the minimum /max I'd do... Fuck waiting on the big, strong, working man who needs a woman running around after him

GreenlandTheMovie · 19/01/2021 15:34

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

I'm always caught with this... On the one hand my mums voice... '' They're guests in our house... We should stop what we're doing an offer then drinks and biscuits...''

And thinking... Why on earth should my day be interrupted so I can perpetuate the patriarchy...

And then, if I'm paying them a day rate and they're sloping off for over an hour to get food, then it may be in my interests to give them a roll to keep them working Grin

They're not "guests" though - they're workers, there to work and are being paid for it.

Some men just like women to run around after them. Its generally best not to. Decent workmen/trades/well run businesses have the lunch procedure thought out in advance and advise their employees not to do this.

cherrypie111 · 19/01/2021 15:50

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

I'm always caught with this... On the one hand my mums voice... '' They're guests in our house... We should stop what we're doing an offer then drinks and biscuits...''

And thinking... Why on earth should my day be interrupted so I can perpetuate the patriarchy...

And then, if I'm paying them a day rate and they're sloping off for over an hour to get food, then it may be in my interests to give them a roll to keep them working Grin

How it it perpetuating the patriarchy? Many men offer tradesmen drinks and food throughout the day as well as women...
Tzimi · 19/01/2021 16:36

@IamtheDevilsAvocado I think you're probably over-thinking this. People, including tradesman, get hungry & thirsty, and you shouldn't be mean to them. After all, they're working for your benefit, doing a job which isn't always very pleasant. A little bit of friendship & consideration goes a long way!

Beline4u · 19/01/2021 17:30

I know in my part of the country, you kinda make them lunch. I would always have food in to make them lunch. I have no issue with it. It's the norm round here.

LovelyIssues · 19/01/2021 17:30

Absolutely not lol I would have laughed and assumed he was joking. Cheeky fucker

godmum56 · 19/01/2021 17:40

current advice to tradesmen is not to accept food or drinks from customers.
During A Visit

"If you’re visiting a customer’s property to carry out work, you need to follow these guidelines:

You should wash your hands regularly, particularly before you enter a property and after you leave. Where facilities to wash your hands are not available, you should use hand sanitiser.
You should not touch or shake hands with the customer. You should avoid close contact by maintaining at least 2 metres distance (around 3 steps) from them during the entire visit.
You should avoid touching any surfaces or objects other than those necessary to do the work.
Every effort should be made to increase ventilation in the area where the work is being done, for example by opening any windows.
You should decline offers of food and drink from the customer during the visit and should not eat, drink or handle food while you are on site.
You should avoid using the toilet during your visit, if possible."
www.getwork.co.uk/coronavirus/coronavirus-covid-19-for-tradesmen-the-complete-guide/#during-visit

KimchiLaLa · 19/01/2021 17:44

I just don't get why no one else thinks it's weird another poster said they make their tradesmen apple pie and coffee to take away?!

Dinkydody · 19/01/2021 17:49

I would be inclined to think he was joking, having bit of banter with you and when you started to ask about pickle etc he just went along with it ...🤔😂

Buggersticks · 19/01/2021 17:50

Wow, he's a bit cheeky! I always offer to feed anyone working on my property BUT the level of 'service' depends on the job. If the sparky is here for an hour or so I'd make hot drinks and supply biscuits, but the all-dayers I'll offer a sandwich for lunch. No workman (whatever his personal circs) should just expect to be fed, grown ups make their own lunch plans. Maybe if he'd said "Is there a sandwich shop around because I need a bite to eat" would've been a more tactful way to bring it up, but to outright tell you to make him food is just a CF. I do wonder if he'd still said that if you were a man...

Buggersticks · 19/01/2021 17:52

... Plus, current Covid situ they aren't actually supposed to accept any drinks/food offered by a customer.

mumof2exhausted · 19/01/2021 17:52

No!!!! What a strange thing. We’ve had 2 huge extensions which took months each time and I’ve never ever been asked to “knock up” a sandwich. Cheeky fucker