What would you think if your DP made these comments?

[Ginnylemon1]

Imagine that you were anti-drugs and he suggested on a few occasions that you 'do acid together', even though you said no.

You are somebody who doesn't drink/smoke/take drugs, and some people have the misconception that you mustn't enjoy pubs/clubs, that you can't go out and party etc. as a result, even though the two are not mutually exclusive.

You look at a nightclub that seems really cool and innovative but your DP says he 'can't imagine you liking it'.
He then says that he imagines you 'stood hunched in the corner with your arms folded, like a disapproving parent.'

On another occasion during lockdown, when you say you wish you could have a house party at yours, he sends a Ned Flanders meme and says 'sorry, this is how I imagine it.'

Would you think these are harmless jokes or more to it?

I should think that he loves me as I am and respects the fact that I don't drink etc. As many people don't.

Your incompatibility has nothing to do with him drinking and you not drinking. That's not what posters mean.

Your incompatibility is down to him being a immature, negging twat of a manchild who mistakenly thinks he's witty and cool. And you are not!

youre not over sensitive hes a twat

and whats with the drugs-you said no so he just carried on asking?

From what you've written before, it seems that you're moving ahead with life, buying your own home etc - he's stuck in a rut and going nowhere - so yes, he needs to pull you down because that's the only way he feels better about what a loser he is.
You don't need him - it's not your job to shore up his inadequacies - just chuck him! Sounds like his career peaked when he was jack the lad in the 6th form!

Its not really about the drinking, it's about the rude comments. I wouldn't be with a man who was rude to me and tried to make fun of me and didn't respect my boundaries.

You look at a nightclub that seems really cool and innovative but your DP says he 'can't imagine you liking it'

Is this the swingers club that he was trying to get you to go to?

He's passive aggressive and sneering at you for not being cool enough to take drugs. He's kind of an idiot. You can tell him I said that.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

I'm the none drinker in the house, dp makes digs at me all the time for not drinking and on the rare occasions I have a drink.

In return I make digs at him for being so boring he needs to have a drink to socialise and having such a low tolerance to alcohol he'd get pissed off a packet of wine gums. it's all good. We both have a sense of humour over it.......I'd hate to be with someone so uptight we couldn't rib each other over the little things in life.

I read your other post about him as well.
There's nothing wrong with you. You are no worse than anyone else.
The longer you stay with him the more damage is being done to your own self esteem.
He's plain nasty. He's bullying you and making you doubt yourself.
You wonder about him "why be with someone who apparently annoys you daily?"
I'd ask you "why be with someone who emotionally abuses you daily?"
Tell him it's not working for you living with someone, and he needs to leave.
He might start crying or will get aggressive and insult you even more, so have a pair of ear plugs handy. Hopefully he'll be completely dumbfounded he'll just pack his stuff and leave.
In all honesty he'll be delighted to go back to his mother, because there's no insult like a mother's insult, and she has fed him that diet all his life so he doesn't know how else to behave.

If you settle for someone like him he will regret it. He will grind you down and his drug addiction will cost you mentally and financially.

He's a twat. Ditch him. There's nearly 8 billion people on the planet. I can guarantee that loads of them would make better DPs for you.

If my phone partner was making those comments, I'd be thinking we were clearly poorly matched and rethinking the relationship!

He thinks your boring. It’s not a good match.

I had a previous ex who would always tell me I was boring and had no interests or never said anything interesting etc. And never invited me on any nights out.
It's a sore subject for me and when I told my current bf he got upset and said he didn't mean it and that I should 'believe in myself'
It just seems like I'm getting upset often with him and that's not what a healthy relationship should be.

@Winterwoollies

Based on your other thread about him, he sounds like a nasty piece of shit who is doing his best to entirely destroy you with his endless dismissing, condescension, criticisms, and mocking.

He’s labouring under the misapprehension that he is vastly superior to you. Bit, in my opinion, he sounds like a total twat.

this

@Ginnylemon1

I had a previous ex who would always tell me I was boring and had no interests or never said anything interesting etc. And never invited me on any nights out. It's a sore subject for me and when I told my current bf he got upset and said he didn't mean it and that I should 'believe in myself' It just seems like I'm getting upset often with him and that's not what a healthy relationship should be.

so many people on here have told you that he's treating you badly and you need to leave. What's stopping you from listening to that advice? I don't mean that in a confrontational way - what is it that makes you think that this is an acceptable way for you to feel in a relationship?

He used to take drugs and rave all night with his ex. I posted on here about it months ago, he broke up with her after a year 4 years ago but used to talk about her tons. He told me with a smile how she had been some 'crazy drunk girl' that she was 'really charismatic' and that they had had 'amazing times'.

He also talked very negatively about stuff she had done too. Once I saw he had been looking her up on Facebook.

He told me he had found an old video of her and was 'melancholic'.

Anyway I confronted him, he apologised and doesn't talk about her anymore. He's got other exes he's mentioned in passing but I never had any sort of bad instinct.

So any time you suggest something fun or declare interest in something fun, he not only undermines your suggestion but does it by undermining you. He's a snide twat. I'd leave him to his too-cool-for-school friends.

FWIW in our relationship DH is the one who doesn't drink. I've never suggested that makes him dull, boring, not suitable for nice, new clubs. Because I love him and drinking alcohol/taking substances isn't inextricably linked to having a good time or being cooler.

Exactly as @Minky37 said - you are not compatible.

If he wants an ''Acid trip mate'' surely he can find one?

Sounds like he is wishing he could re-live his teenage years?

Those days are gone, he'll not recapture it by getting you to drop acid with him.

Like trying to nail jelly to a wall.

I don't think he cares about the acid. It's just another way to undermine OP. He's like one of those negging pick-up artists. He wants to keep OP doing the pick-me dance. But she doesn't have to play. She can dump him.

@Ginnylemon1

He used to take drugs and rave all night with his ex. I posted on here about it months ago, he broke up with her after a year 4 years ago but used to talk about her tons. He told me with a smile how she had been some 'crazy drunk girl' that she was 'really charismatic' and that they had had 'amazing times'.

He also talked very negatively about stuff she had done too. Once I saw he had been looking her up on Facebook.

He told me he had found an old video of her and was 'melancholic'.

Oh OP, you so don't need him about.

If this ''Crazy drunk girl'' was so ''Amazing'' why aren't they together still?

He sounds like he is ''Recidivisiting''

I don't drink either, and dated a narcissistic man who raved on and on about a woman he had dated who took party drugs &c who was ''Such fun'' {But also very violent to him} ..I dropped him, not the acid!

No regrets.

[quote Ginnylemon1]@Minky37 do you mean in a way that he's just joking and I am being too sensitive? Sorry if I have misunderstood it. Thanks[/quote]
No I mean he’s being nasty and laughing at you. Sorry. Not drinking or being a drug taker is a perfectly reasonable choice and he’s poking fun at you. Ditch him.

@Ginnylemon1 I’ve read your other thread. He actually sounds like a real nasty piece of work, who is demeaning you on a daily basis.
For some reason he also thinks he’s your intellectual superior but in fact he’s just angling after taking illegal drugs. Sounds like a loser to me to be honest. My comment of ‘ditch him’ still stands.

On the basis of this thread alone I'd just think we were incompatible. From previous replied I get that there is more to this though...