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Original poster

To be stressed out by the amount of toys DS has..

46 replies

angelwings88 · 18/01/2021 02:17

I have 1 DS who has just turned 4. We live in a 3 bed, it's not the biggest - living room, kitchen, a conservatory that is freezing this time of year, our room, DS's room which is small and the spare room that is an office for DH/dressing room/spare bed as PIL live abroad so stay with us. So room is tight.
I had a cull of toys before Christmas as DS birthday is right afterwards. Last year I had to buy a new toy box after Xmas and I've just had to buy some shelving off Amazon to accommodate all the shit gifts he was given.
Honestly I can't move for stuff, not just small toys but huge 3ft long car tracks which doesn't dismantle and fits nowhere. The conservatory is a playroom but it's not ideal as we just have a convector heater in there. His bedroom is chock a block. I see next door who have 3 children and they have nothing in the conservatory and their house is so tidy and ours is just toys where ever you look!
I'm not ungrateful And DS loves them - I'm aware it's a "first world problem" but please make me feel I'm not the only one who feels this way and any suggestions are welcome!

OP posts:
adriennewillfly · 18/01/2021 02:31

We have the same problem. Slightly bigger house, but we have 2 kids nows. We have taken to secretly going to the charity shop with forgotten toys. And changing the subject when he asks where they are...

You could try getting him to pick 20 toys to swap for 1 new one,

CSIblonde · 18/01/2021 02:32

If it's not been played with in 6months, charity shop it. Be ruthless. It's the only way .

SpiderinaWingMirror · 18/01/2021 02:38

I did middle ground.
Stick half in the loft. If none of it is asked for in 3 months you can find another home for it.

HerNameIsIncontinentiaButtocks · 18/01/2021 02:40

Yep. Binbags full in the loft, though I give them six months (mostly because I'm lazy and don't get around to getting rid until then). And when you're having the usual round of Christmas/Birthday suggestions, specify no big stuff to everyone. You can straight up come out with that on the family chat/phone calls, don't be shy about it.

Patienceisvirtuous · 18/01/2021 03:07

I’m with you. We have a 3.5 year old. He has millions of toys. He is energetic, lively, imaginative... so actually plays with 95% of them but it stresses me so much. They’re everywhere - and take ages to tidy. And he is always asking me to help him find particular figures which is like trying to find a needle in a bloody haystack. Even when I put them all in boxes there are loads of boxes everywhere aaaargh!

It’s on my to do list to tackle it as soon as I get some childcare back.

Solidarity x

Happyhappyday · 18/01/2021 03:08

We have actively told family not to give us things. Only grandchild on both sides & neither of us is happy at all to be adding to the mountain of plastic tat in the world. we get most of our toys from Buy Nothing and move on promptly when they aren’t getting played with. We tell relatives books, clothes or additions to DD’s education fund are ok but to limit other things. If I can’t tidy the toys into the existing shelves, there are too many.

Topseyt · 18/01/2021 03:12

This used to happen to us when our three DDs were small. I was another who was into the occasional surreptitious trip to the charity shop.

Guineapigbridge · 18/01/2021 03:33

4 is peak toy. Once they go to school they're less interested.

I have a 10,8 and 5 year old. I take a bag a week to the Charity Shop. I fill it up, out it goes. Literally a bag a week. It's the only way to keep on top of stuff.
I keep,
Lego and duplo
Construction toys
In tact board games
Up to 6 puzzles at a time
4 barbies and a box of clothes and accessories
Train tracks/small world village play
Matchbox cars
A box of soft toys (a one in, one out policy)

Plastic toys like batman etc get regifted or charity-shopped. They never, ever notice.

micc · 18/01/2021 03:52

Same over here!! You are not the only one OP. We live in a two bed flat as well!! Luckily we have big rooms but 0 storage. Do you have space for the IKEA storage thing that's like boxes on the wall? We have that and it's been so great. My pet hate is all her bloody teddies. Why every family member insists on giving her another bloody teddy is beyond me. Shes so attached to them too. I honestly cringe every time she gets one like why!!!!!
I've been ruthless recently though, getting rid of things as much as I can, I sell them on FB and give my DD some of the money in her piggy bank. (She is also 4)

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/01/2021 03:55

So get rid of some. We have 2 boys in a 2 bed flat with no conservatory. I'm a childminder and have another child due in a week. I still manage to not have my house covered in toys.

inquietant · 18/01/2021 04:06

Like others say, you have to be ruthless.

Be more directive with family to help stem the tide of what comes in. Go for quality/longevity over size/quantity. And cull them.

AgentJohnson · 18/01/2021 04:08

You aren’t powerless in this. Be straight with people, your son has too many toys and the clutter is making you unhappy. Put his toys in one room and take a picture of it and when someone complains that you are being controlling or mean, show them the picture so they can visualise what you are saying. Make toy and old clothes donation a thing and let your child be a part of the decluttering process.

The idea that people dedicate separate rooms to toys is madness, by all means have a chest or cupboard available downstairs for convenience but a whole room to contain clutter is an issue.

Too many toys is a first world problem of our own making.

stayathomer · 18/01/2021 04:16

I used to get stressed over this but as someone who has just had a cull and whose eldest is 13, you've only a few years of it so I'd say try and just tidy as you can but dont stress. It's heartbreaking when you get to the point where all they play with is lego and they want to keep a few bits but most can go!

Thehop · 18/01/2021 07:09

Get some kallax cubes from IKEA. Also be ruthless about getting rid of what he doesn’t like or rotate the toys.

HelgaDownUnder · 18/01/2021 07:27

They grow out of huge toys really quickly. Mine are 11, 10 and 7. Four years ago our house was an explosion of tat, now they all fit in one, smallish cupboard. By all means start culling, but it won't last forever. Large trucks are especially cluttering and especially short-lived in appeal.

MessAllOver · 18/01/2021 07:45

Is the issue lack of storage or too many toys? If your DS plays with the toys and asks for them, it sounds like a storage issue not a toy issue. If he doesn't seem that fussed about them, you need to get rid of some.

We had this issue last year (moved recently but never got organised). DS didn't have what we would consider too many toys, but there was nowhere to put them. No cupboards, no storage. No playroom here either, just kitchen and living room. We've built some floor to ceiling cupboards and shelving into the bedrooms, have underbed storage in every room and have boxed any toys that don't fit in the cupboards into 2-3 medium boxes and we put them in the loft and rotate. Our biggest and most used toy (wooden train set) goes in a very low box under the sofa. We keep playdoh and art and craft supplies in plastic boxes on top of the kitchen cupboards. Bikes hang on a hook in the hall. Outdoor toys (balls, football goals, bubble stuff) go in a big waterproof plastic box in the garden.

GemmeFatale · 18/01/2021 07:50

Massive unrequested toys can live with the gifter and enjoyed during visits (post Covid).

DH is from a musical family. They joke that our child will be a drummer. Because jokes often seem to preceded things appearing I have been extremely clear that if a drum kit appears it will be moving to their house.

00100001 · 18/01/2021 07:52

Just get rid of them....

00100001 · 18/01/2021 07:54

@MessAllOver

Is the issue lack of storage or too many toys? If your DS plays with the toys and asks for them, it sounds like a storage issue not a toy issue. If he doesn't seem that fussed about them, you need to get rid of some.

We had this issue last year (moved recently but never got organised). DS didn't have what we would consider too many toys, but there was nowhere to put them. No cupboards, no storage. No playroom here either, just kitchen and living room. We've built some floor to ceiling cupboards and shelving into the bedrooms, have underbed storage in every room and have boxed any toys that don't fit in the cupboards into 2-3 medium boxes and we put them in the loft and rotate. Our biggest and most used toy (wooden train set) goes in a very low box under the sofa. We keep playdoh and art and craft supplies in plastic boxes on top of the kitchen cupboards. Bikes hang on a hook in the hall. Outdoor toys (balls, football goals, bubble stuff) go in a big waterproof plastic box in the garden.

Just gonna say, if there floor to ceiling storage, shelves and underbed storage, and you still have to store stuff in the loft.... That's too many toys.
picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2021 07:56

But the floor to ceiling storage includes clothes, 101000101010

DemolitionBarbie · 18/01/2021 07:56

I feel your pain. Have you tried asking DS whether he wants them all? I was surprised when I asked DD 4 if there were toys she didn't want, she said 'oh yes I've never liked all these' and we filled a huge bag.

I have shelves out of DD reach with 8 IKEA boxes, we have a one out at a time policy and stuff has to be tidied in before the next one comes out. Helps a bit. Plus as toys are out of sight in boxes you can remove stuff easily enough.

I have a toy purgatory too - remove things to a cupboard and if they don't ask for it in a month or so, get rid.

For birthdays and Christmas I ask for more of the same (Duplo, play doh, sylvanian etc) rather than new big stuff.

Still a battle though!

Marmite27 · 18/01/2021 07:57

DC are 3 and 5 here, as one is growing out of it, the other is growing into it.

Luckily for me we have friends and family with younger children, and there’s always my mums nursery in non-Covid times.

We have kallax. So much fucking Kallax. The bathroom is the only room without any. High ceilings upstairs too, so can get a 4 high with a 2 high bolted on top.

Ginandshinythings · 18/01/2021 08:05

My friends house is very much like yours but with two children you cannot move for stuff and it's a large house mine Is the total opposite.

Like you, I have transformed the conservatory into a playroom and it's changed everything its fab. We have two radiators out there and a sliding door to the living room, so leaving that open and closing all roof hatches keeps it warm enough to enjoy.

Kallax unit from ikea, looks nice and neat and holds so much.

Toy rotation, bedroom and downstairs. I even move larger things to the patio, even if that is not their purpose. We have millions of cars, so some are now outside and some are inside.
Each week I do a small change and notice a big difference especially being in lock down. For example, yesterday, I moved the tuff tray outside and filled with sand. I brought his ikea kitchen downstairs and into the play room.

Once you become ruthless and have a system it is easy to keep on top of. I really believe homes should be lived in, but as adults we need that space that is not littered with toys so we can chill in the evening.

NotMeNoNo · 18/01/2021 08:06

Keep gifters under control. Lego, Playmobil or wooden railway only, for example. Expensive,good quality and non bulky.
You do have a peak in bulky toys around that age when they still have plastic toddler toys like workbenches as well as moving to the next stage.

How about you pack your storage with a selection of the best and favourite toys and books, that is plenty for him to enjoy. Pack up and offer on Facebook everything else, the lot. You could have a backup selection in the loft to rotate but I bet you never use it.

Ultimateblends · 18/01/2021 08:19

Dont live like this op!
Get rid!
Kids really don't need as much as we seem to think! My DS loves a little declutter session.
As a PP said you might be surprised by what they choose to get rid of. I tell my DS that another little boy who doesn't have as much would love to have the toys he doesnt want or need.
It really appeals to him, or we put them for cheap on shpock or the like, and the money he makes he gets to save. We have a coffee table storage in the living room with his toys, a small box of Bath toys in the bathroom, and everything else goes up to his bedroom.
I still occasionally sneak some stuff out too, he rarely notices.

Friends and family know not to buy him tat, and I generally get asked what we want, start this without delay.

Also second hand items in the future are great, and you don't feel so....guilty... for passing on.

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