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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think their reaction was OTT?

37 replies

username948472 · 17/01/2021 16:15

Prepared to be flamed for this as is often the case with the AIBU thread 😁. We have just got back from our local park. It is less than half a mile away. We have often walked there. However with the weather looking like it might rain and having a 3 and a 1 year old we decided to drive. Also the 3year old sometimes gets tired and wants carrying. It’s a small park and thought it would probably be quiet compared to bigger parks. Plus obviously staying in our local area.
When we got out of the car a man walking his dog stopped and stared at us. My DH said hello the man didn’t react he just carried on glaring at us. We just thought he was abit strange and went into the park to which we were the only ones there.

Upon returning to the car a woman was stood nearby got her phone out and started to take pictures of us. I was in shock and didn’t say anything. I really wish I had now.

I get they probably thought we had come from out the area. But I just find their reaction extreme. We do not live in beauty spot, it’s a quiet area with a very small park. Only local people would actually know about it.

Im also really angry she took pictures of us especially if the DC are in them. Another factor that I’m not sure if I should mention or not or if was a contributing factor or not is the fact DH is of a ethnic minority. There has been a lot of horrible underhand comments recently on our local Facebook group blaming ‘certain people’ for spreading the virus.

Also just thought I would add where we parked was fine. Not anywhere we shouldn’t/or blocking anyone.

AIBU?
YABU - yes their reaction was fine
YANBU - it was OTT

OP posts:

Mammma91 · 17/01/2021 16:24

I don’t think it was acceptable to take pictures or glare. If they really thought you were from a different area, they could have asked. Or to completely ignored you and carried on with their day. Id never stand and take photos of someone let alone their children.

I hope your ok OP. Id report this to the police - your children are minors and these are complete strangers with photos of your DC.
I hope your ok.

tobedtoMNandfart · 17/01/2021 16:29

You did not have to justify yourselves to these people.

Astormofswords · 17/01/2021 16:29

No there reaction is not normal! Who thinks it’s acceptable to go round glaring at people and taking photos.

Unless a serious crime is being committed there is no need.

I would have done the same and the more I thought I about once getting home I would be getting more annoyed / upset.

They aren’t the police and can’t enforce anything. They might send the pictures to the local police, if they choose to investigate (highly unlikely) it would be a open close book so you have nothing to worry about.

I wonder if they were a couple or two separate loons??

stonebrambleboy · 17/01/2021 16:31

'Hell is other people'
I understand why you are upset, glaring and taking photos is not acceptable.
There's some right idiots out there at the moment.
Don't let it get to you.

Fembot123 · 17/01/2021 16:33

Yanbu, what petty weirdos! I’m sorry to hear about the poisonous crap being spread on your local Facebook site, how dare they 😡

ukmail · 17/01/2021 16:35

For a start I think I'd have got my phone out and taken pictures of them. And I don't think I could have walked away without asking them what they were doing and why.

Plussizejumpsuit · 17/01/2021 16:41

Even if you had come from out of the area their reaction isn't acceptable. No one is appointed as covid police.

WorraLiberty · 17/01/2021 16:42

I can't vote due to this...

Upon returning to the car a woman was stood nearby got her phone out and started to take pictures of us. I was in shock and didn’t say anything. I really wish I had now.

"Hi, can I ask why you're taking pictures of us?"

You might not have got a strait answer, but probably a lot closer to what you're going to get from a whole thread full of speculation.

ApolloandDaphne · 17/01/2021 16:45

People can be so weird. You did nothing wrong.

warmandtoasty2day · 17/01/2021 16:48

what are they going to do with the pictures anyway of total randoms in the park, i'm sure the police will be very uninterested with that, they sound like a pair of numpties. i'd have just asked what she was doing taking photos then walked off possibly flipping the bird.

TillyTopper · 17/01/2021 16:48

That's very strange. I'd have taken her pic tbh and asked her what she was doing.

Original poster

username948472 · 17/01/2021 16:48

Thank you everyone. I really can't answer why I didn't say anything. I think I was just shocked I was just putting the DC in the car. I didn't actually start to feel angry/upset until we were driving off.

OP posts:

islockdownoveryet · 17/01/2021 16:49

@WorraLiberty

I can't vote due to this...

Upon returning to the car a woman was stood nearby got her phone out and started to take pictures of us. I was in shock and didn’t say anything. I really wish I had now.

"Hi, can I ask why you're taking pictures of us?"

You might not have got a strait answer, but probably a lot closer to what you're going to get from a whole thread full of speculation.

Absolutely should of said this if you were bothered and you clearly are . The whole situation could of been cleared up or not . They’ve assumed something and you’ve assumed it’s to do with lockdown or your dh but because neither of you said anything you don’t know .

WorraLiberty · 17/01/2021 16:50

Was your husband too shocked to ask too?

Also, are you sure she was taking photos and not just looking at her phone/trying to get a signal?

stonebrambleboy · 17/01/2021 16:57

You were caught off guard, you didn't say anything, don't beat yourself up about it. Just be ready next time you visit the park, it's your local park and you have every right to visit it.

BlusteryLake · 17/01/2021 16:57

My neighbour is like this - he takes pictures of things like builders and people laying patios (we live in a conservation area). He thinks he is making some kind of point, even though they are not breaking any rules. It's his passive aggressive and utterly powerless way of expressing his disapproval of local planning laws!

LuaDipa · 17/01/2021 17:08

Complete overreaction and they were being very very unreasonable. To be honest, I think a lot of the hysteria re people travelling for exercise comes from those who chose to live in beauty spots but have been pissed off at other people coming for years and finally have a reason to complain about it. I think people are far safer travelling to a quiet spot rather than congregating in a busy local park.

You did absolutely nothing wrong so just try abs ignore.

Pimlicojo · 17/01/2021 17:14

Not okay, and I can understand why you were upset, but I can't understand why neither you nor your husband said anything.

dontgetmewrong · 17/01/2021 17:15

You should have took out your camera & recorded them while walking up to them & asking them why they are taking photos of your children.

Original poster

username948472 · 17/01/2021 17:25

@WorraLiberty

Was your husband too shocked to ask too?

Also, are you sure she was taking photos and not just looking at her phone/trying to get a signal?

It was the way she held her phone up/sideways and clearly pressing the button. DH was getting youngest in the car he isn't that bothered about it just thinks they were weird and I should forget about it.

OP posts:

Tessabelle74 · 17/01/2021 17:29

I'd have tackled them about the photos, that's unacceptable to take pictures of children

Andrea87 · 17/01/2021 17:30

I hope you’re all ok. What does your DH think?
They should NOT be taking photos of you and especially not the children! I believe there are laws against that so it’s unlikely that they would post them on social media. Unless they are unwise.
I suspect you didn’t say anything because you were shocked and/ or didn’t want to cause any aggravation, I am the same and will try and avoid any confrontation. If this happens again maybe just ask politely, as someone said maybe they weren’t taking photos at all and there is some innocent explanation to their behaviour.

Cherrysoup · 17/01/2021 17:35

I would have gone up to her, actually my dh would have been extremely cross and would have approached her in a very calm but professional manner. You can’t stop people taking photos in a public place, but it’s madly OTT to do so when you were clearly out for exercise. I drove to the park today too, there is no way I can currently walk that far having just come off crutches, but I managed a gentle stroll with the dog.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 17/01/2021 17:53

If I was sure that they were taking photos of my children, I'd have grabbed the phone off her there and then.

peak2021 · 17/01/2021 18:06

If the police contact you, they will know it is half a mile, presumably the nearest park, and then you can advised of the ages of your DC.

You will then put a complaint in about their behaviour of taking pictures of your DC. Difficult to allege racism as if you were the only people other than them in the park, you cannot prove they have treated others differently.

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