Ex boyfriend reported me to the police ..aibu to not forgive him?

[totaleclipseofmyheart]

Me and my ex remained friends after breaking up January 2020.
We still spoke daily on the phone and text etc
I don't want to go into too much detail but it came to light he reported me to the police in April.
He accused me of stealing from a dying close relative (it wasn't true and after investigation no further action was taking )
I found out after he drunkenly let something slip (that he could only of known about )
He text me last week..saying he was upset that I accused him of this and blaming him for "made up scenarios"
He said I was confused and was reflecting the blame to him.
I'm telling you it was 100% him.
I told him I didn't want to speak about it anymore and I'm hurt he thought so little of me.
He went to some lengths to Hurt me didn't he?
I've name changed as I have mentioned him before and worry if he sees these posts.
Why can't he just admit what he did?
Even if he thought I was doing this why go to them lengths ? Yet speak to me daily

Also when I confronted him,he changed the subject to me being in the wrong for all the times we argued
And played the victim

You say you are 100% certain you know he did it so you don't need him to admit he did it. He won't admit it anyway and as long as you stay engaged hoping he will you are just prolonging the drama. Block him on everything, forget he exists and move on with your life.

I had something similar happen to me. I would stay well away from him. Don’t engage.

Why are you speaking to someone daily who has falsely reported you to the police? Time to cut the cord and move on surely?

Well if you're sure he did this, then maybe he did in a fit of pique to hurt you or get back at you for some perceived slight.

Why are you still in contact with him? He’s behaved appallingly yet you speak daily?

I didn't want to believe it was him.
It's only November last year I found out it was him.
He messaged me for months after speaking normally
I don't get it.

Why stay in contact, an ex is an ex for reason.

oh wow. block him.

He wanted to put you a rung beneath him.

So why are you still in contact??!!

Delete. Block. Job done. Never speak to him again!

He isn't going to suddenly provide you with a detailed explanation for his behaviour.

Just stop having any contact with him. Any at all. Block his number, delete him from your phone and consider looking at some therapy to be able to build a less dysfunctional relationship with your next partner

Why were you even speaking daily? To an ex, who you finished with a year ago. That's not normal. And then he reported you. Get a grip! For your own sake. Go no contact.

He can’t admit it because he’s a shitbag. And he knows you would have every right to be furious with him for what he did. He’s lying because he has no respect for you - he thinks you’re stupid enough to fall for his lies. That alone should be enough to go NC.

Even if he does admit it he’ll eventually change his story and gaslight you about it all. Don’t waste your time on such a waste of space.

My sister and her (now ex) husband did similar to me many years back. It was admitted after the fact but now it’s claimed that it was his friend pretending to be a police officer and that no complaint was made. They’re both dead to me. And I’m the villain for not believing their new reasoning for the hell they put me through. They are part of my wider world because I’m still in touch with my parents but if I could never hear of or think of them again I would in a heartbeat. You get to walk away with a clean break. Do so. Seven years on I still have to defend my position. Don’t be me.

Oh, I remember you.

Why have you not ceased contact with this man?

A relative reported me (maliciously) to ss, I stopped contact as soon as I found out it was her, that was 6 months ago I’ve never spoken to her since and wouldn’t again. Why are you still speaking to this man ?

Siiiigh

I remember your original thread and everyone then said to just stop communicating with him and block him on everything.

What do you want from these threads?

I need closure.
I need to understand why he did it.
What did I do to him for him to want to hurt me like that.

It was “only” November that you found out? It’s the second half of January now. We’re you in a coma for 7+ weeks 🙄
What does he have to gain by admitting it? Nothing.
It is very very rare for there to a good reason for someone to be in daily contact with their ex. Sounds like you have issues and you might be better off talking to a therapist than him 🤷🏻‍♀️

I will never find out why my relative reported me to ss, and that was much worse, she is my own blood. I will never know the reason. Sometimes you need to accept you will never get the answer and make peace with that in your own head.

You don’t need closure. You need to step away.

I'm confused. Previous posts?

And I haven’t seen any of your previous threads but sounds like you just want an excuse to continue to speak to him that your hoping he will give you “closure” make your own closure, my relative is dead to me.

@TooTrueToBeGood

You say you are 100% certain you know he did it so you don't need him to admit he did it. He won't admit it anyway and as long as you stay engaged hoping he will you are just prolonging the drama. Block him on everything, forget he exists and move on with your life.

This.

He did it to feel better about himself in some sick way.

It's nothing to do with you. He's likely done it to women before and will do similar again.

If you make it about you, you're going only prolong your suffering. Not a single thing else. He will never feel bad over this. He won't apologise and ask forgiveness - unless he's trying to suck you back in.

Block him and delete him both online and from your mind. Then focus on something, anything, that makes you feel good, because he doesn't, this situation doesn't and you deserve to feel good.