Wow, thank you so much for all of the responses. I’m definitely going to take a lot of it on board and I’m so grateful to those who have been in similar situations before sharing their stories.
I think step 1 is to wait and speak to him tomorrow and tell him my concerns. Completely agree with that. I know there is no use speaking to him today as, his hangover moods tend to be an extension of the night before and it will often escalate into an argument as, he certainly doesn’t appreciate the deep conversations when he’s suffering eye roll
In response to a couple of questions - it is something he is aware of as, we’ve had words before but, not for a few years which is why I agree it is a starting point. I’m not willing to throw our relationship away so simply and start evaluating my finances (which would be ok btw) until I’ve done everything I can to make it right. My fiancé’s parents are divorced - and actually, both divorced his step parents too and so, he’s really been through it in his childhood and we both swore that it would be the very last thing we would do to our own children, if things weren’t working.
A lot of posters have hit the nail on the head with the sex vs stress thing. I feel like I never stop, work is crazy (key worker here), mum guilt is through the roof because, feel I’m working so much I never get to spend time with my beautiful baby, housework takes a back seat and I will often lay awake writing mental to do lists. It could just be on me, rather than a loss of attraction as, I don’t think I have space in my brain for anything else atm.
Also, no sadly it’s not just me who thinks he’s embarrassing when he’s drunk. He’s become a bit of a ‘butt of the joke’ within my family and friends which honestly hurts my heart because, I don’t want them to see him like that. I glance around at the people humouring him or shooting me looks when he’s drunk babbling and I want to scoop him up and gag him (unfortunately, not in that way).
Again, I was hasty and clearly incorrect by using the term ick, not sure if some posters missed my post admitting this as, it’s still being analysed but, I really appreciate those who have realised what I meant and related to how I’m feeling.
I think he would stop drinking if i told him to and gave the ultimatum but, I don’t feel comfortable dictating to him what he can and can’t do. It would be perfect if he were able to sit and have a bottle of wine with me and then stop and go to bed. sigh Will update tomorrow after our chat.
Thank you again x