To be upset with DH for criticising my singing voice?

[Wjiney]

I got myself a new guitar song book - and I was 3 bars through when he unsolicited tells me my voice has no rhythm and the song I’d chosen was all about rhythm.

I’m deflated like a popped balloon. The song book is shoved back on the shelf to wait for (at best) when I’m home alone to practice.

I’m no Taylor Swift - but singing is so personal and emotional that it has really got to me as a comment coming from my DH.

YANBU because he sounds like he didn’t let you down very nicely but was rude and abrupt.

Just say,I,m not doing it for you I,m doing it for me. Don,t stop. Not eveeryone has a great voice but doen,t mean you should stop. And to be honest he wasn,t criticing the voice more the fact you hadn,t got the rhythm and isn,t that something that comes with practice. So you just say well I better practice more then.

He wasn’t rude rude - just the detached tone you might use to comment on someone making a hash of their Britain’s Got Talent audition.

He was rude. You keep on singing.

@june2007 - I hear what you’re saying - but singing is emotional and vulnerable. Not something I can deliver in earshot of someone who expresses that they dislike it.

I was once singing loudly in the living room while DH was in the kitchen, and when he came in he said he thought I was watching X Factor and one of the terrible auditions was being shown.

I think I have quite a nice singing voice as it happens

Eh if you can't sing you can't sing.

He’s a cunt. HTH.

We have a rule in this (musical) household that no one criticises or critiques anyone else’s performance. We range from professional musician (DH), accomplished guitarist DS, emerging piano player Ds2 and me and DD the karaoke queens. Someone is always singing or playing.

No one needs unsolicited opinions.

And I still sing very loudly at home, in the car etc. As if I give a fuck what my DH thinks of my singing anyway!

Singing and performing is so personal. I was criticised as a child and have never and will never sing in front of others now. It’s bothered me my whole life. He’s a thoughtless twat.

@cherrypie111

Eh if you can't sing you can't sing.

Even if it were true (and learning a new song makes everybody sound a bit crap - because they've got to actually learn it), that doesn't mean her husband has to tell her he thinks she sounds shit.

OP, if you download a metronome app and start at a slower speed (probably whilst he isn't in the house so he doesn't try and knock you down even more), you'll be able to nail it.

And if he's in the habit of pissing all over your attempts to do something that makes you happy, maybe you should think about what that says about him, rather than a perfectly normal stage in learning a new song.

I amnota good singer but I've got to an age where I don't care! My customers here me singing away in the kitchen, and I often sing at my staff, but I enjoy it, and often don't even realise I'm doing it!

@june2007 why should she placate her rude husband? Her enthusiasm and joy has been taken away and replaced (I’m projecting here admittedly) probably with self consciousness and a bit of sadness.

That’s a horrible thing for him to have done.

The voice is an instrument and gets better with practice. No one expects a person to be able to just pick up the violin and play to concert level. Yet somehow people are expected to naturally just be able to sing in the same way as the top 0.01% of vocal artists, and be ridiculed if they can’t.

The statement "your voice has no rhythm" doesn't even make sense. YANBU.

I sing like a strangled cat. Luckily I know this and don’t care so I sing whenever I feel like it and good and loud. I’ve been told I can’t sing in so many rude ways by strangers and friends / family alike. Your DH was a bit blunt but maybe you were singing badly. Better to hear it from the nearest and dearest rather than end up as a deluded X-factor entry “but my family all tell me I sound like Whitney!!!!”

YANBU

That's a really unkind thing to say!

No one gets good at singing without practice, and the purpose of singing doesn't have to be to please others.

I'd point out how mean he's being.

[quote Wjiney]@june2007 - I hear what you’re saying - but singing is emotional and vulnerable. Not something I can deliver in earshot of someone who expresses that they dislike it.[/quote]
If your singing is emotional and vulnerable then don't deliver in earshot of someone who expresses that they dislike it. Do it for you were no-one else can hear you.

Bob Dylan has a terrible singing voice, but it hasn't hurt his career. Your DH is an idiot, and was being nasty for no apparent reason. Is this something he does often?

He is an arsehole voicing an unwanted opinion, (teeth clenched) unless you were planning on auditioning for the X factor and asked for his opinion he had no business sticking his oar on.

*in

just another example of a thoughtless comment, we all do it sometimes, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you and has no idea he did so. maybe if you tell him that he popped your happy bubble, he won't want to be that person and will be full of remorse!!

I can’t sing and DP will often joke about it. I know I can’t though so joke about it too - but I love singing so still continue.

Are you generally quite affected by what people say, or is it because it’s DH saying it, or because singing is important to you?

So Winterwoolies what do you suggest? That she stops. I would talk to your partner he may not have meant to have offended you as much as you seem to be op.