Background: MIL is shielding, she had breast cancer in 2014 and has arthritis. We live in Cornwall, PIL are on the edge of a small town and we are very rural.
DH works with FIL. FIL is working from home mainly but they are surveyors so he goes to visit properties with DH and they share a car. FIL only enters vacant properties. It's their own business. DH is in the office with other employees when not on appointments. I'm a SAHM.
We had 2 DS aged 3 and 18 months. DS1 is in the village pre-school usually, but it's been closed since the start of term. DH didn't want me to meet up with one other person for a walk in case we picked something up. I disagreed but obliged just to save stress. We aren't eligible for a support bubble or a childcare bubble, so seeing someone on a walk would be the only time I see anyone apart from DH and the boys.
DS1's pre-school opens again on Monday. I would like him to go for three days a week. DH and PIL have said no because FIL will not work with DH if DS1 is at pre-school and DH says he's too busy to work alone and needs FIL's help.
MIL has met a friend for a walk since this lockdown started. I have put my foot down about meeting a friend for a walk, so I am now 'allowed' to do that now. I literally go for a walk and do the weekly supermarket shop, I don't go anywhere else or see anyone. I feel a bit peeved that the boys and I are essentially being told to shield to protect MIL, who we will have no direct contact with. There is only allowed to be a maximum of 15 in DS1s per-school group and as there are only 16 children in pre-school anyway, there is only ever about 10 children in. It's a small primary school in a rural village.
In my sisters much larger town primary, there are teachers working in school who live with shielding partners. It seems a bit far fetched for the three of us to have to shield just in case DS catches COVID and manages to pass it on to FIL who then passes it on to MIL.
I have suggested they don't travel together or DH just goes to appointments on his own. That's fallen on deaf ears with an 'it's inconvenient' response.
AIBU in thinking DS should be allowed to go to the pre-school that he loves three days a week?