To be worried about social services?

[MrsLime]

Went to GP today for something else and disclosed a historical rape and that I was struggling with stress/ anxiety and was concerned that PTSD was back due to circumstances of this year. She referred me to mental health nurse but also spent a lot of time asking about my home life. (Working and trying to home school 2 children). I told her I was struggling with that too. Now I'm worrying that she will refer me to social services? Please tell me it is just my anxiety.

I would guess that your GP was trying to ascertain your current stress levels and how you are functioning so that they can support you appropriately, highly unlikely to result in a referral to social services unless you disclosed child neglect.

I just wish I hadn't mentioned it. It wasn't what my appointment was for anyway. And I'm also concerned that either the GP or the nurse is going to start questioning me on things like why I didn't report it at the time etc. Or why it's taken me so long to get help. Etc.

I disclosed that I'm not eating or sleeping and am aware my stress levels are high. Nothing else related to the children though. It's just she spent a lot of time asking about them

This is your anxiety. For one it doesn’t sound like you’ve disclosed anything suggesting your children are at risk and they will tell you if they’re ringing social services.

Op just pause for a minute

Don’t you think you could do with some support?

@Sethy38 support in terms of counselling absolutely. But my children are happy and well looked after. My husband is also at home with us so it's not me struggling on my own and I don't need or want social service involvement with my family life.

Maybe she was trying to assess whether your children also need MH support?

She would have to tell you if she was going to refer to social services. But she didn't even suggest lower level parent support services so it sounds like you don't need to worry about that.

Your gp could potentially support you in getting a school place for your children.

Firstly OP, it’s very unlikely your GP will contact SS. If you’d disclosed that you thought you might harm yourself or the DC then yes, but otherwise it’s highly unlikely.

Secondly all anybody would want to do is offer you help and support, so on the very slim off chance that the GP has contacted SS, all they would be interested in is knowing that your DC are safe and that your are able to cope. If for any reason they thought you were struggling they would try to put in place things to support both you and the DC, that is all.

Don’t worry, SS are not child snatchers who are looking for an excuse to take your DC, I can 100% guarantee you that.

If SS became involved with every family where the parent/a were struggling there would have to be as many SWs as parents.

I'm not an expert, but I suspect the sort of person the very overworked SS staff are preoccupied with are not the sort of people who are anxious about home schooling their kids. Many rape victims don't report it at the time. I'm sure that will be no issue at all. Your doctor is just trying to help.

Its your anxiety talking. :)
I have weekly therapy after my GP referred me. And even disclosing suicidal thoughts hasn't triggered a referral.

Sorry to hear about your truly awful experiences and don't be afraid, you've taken a big step and are getting help.

To confirm what above poster said- she would have to tell you if she was referring you to social services. A lot of people TRY telling social services they need support for not eating sleeping and struggling etc and don't get any response so please don't worry.

Please, she will certainly not question that you didn't disclose at the time. It's well, well known why women don't disclose rape at the time of rape.

Her listening about your home life is literally seeing how urgent your case is for counselling. The fact that you have children and struggles at home means that a) you need help more urgently and b) you're at higher risk of falling apart because of the additional strain on you.

I have a psychotic illness which came to light about 7 years ago. The doctors didn't refer me onto social services; they just made me better.

I thought it was a myth that they had to tell you if they were going to raise concerns with SS? Also it is normal to speak to the mental health nurse? I thought I would just get a referal to the appropriate services.

@Whatisthisfuckery

Firstly OP, it’s very unlikely your GP will contact SS. If you’d disclosed that you thought you might harm yourself or the DC then yes, but otherwise it’s highly unlikely.

Secondly all anybody would want to do is offer you help and support, so on the very slim off chance that the GP has contacted SS, all they would be interested in is knowing that your DC are safe and that your are able to cope. If for any reason they thought you were struggling they would try to put in place things to support both you and the DC, that is all.

Don’t worry, SS are not child snatchers who are looking for an excuse to take your DC, I can 100% guarantee you that.

If SS became involved with every family where the parent/a were struggling there would have to be as many SWs as parents.

Basically want to echo this post!

Sounds like they wanted to be thorough in determining the support they could offer and refer for. 💛 Also, asking lots of questions suggests they wanted to make sure you knew they took you seriously and they were paying attention.

Hope you get support and are feeling better soon. If they offer talking therapy, take it, makes such a difference! ☺️

Nope, the only time they don’t tell you before returning is when they think that will cause the child more harm.
I regularly refer to social services through my job and the first thing they ask is if I have parental consent, if it’s no it’s end of conversation until
I get it.

My first thought (as someone who works in the area) was that they may look at a referral to homestart if you have one local and look at school places for your children. From what you have said, there is nothing for social services to be involved in. Please don't worry. Even if (and I really don't think they would) they did phone you, it would be for support, they won't take your children

Don't worry about social services. Their job is to support families who are struggling, not to take children away from their parents.

Also, it's not a myth. Unless a refer has reason to believe they would put children at risk of harm/further harm, they should tell parents/carers that they are making a referral. 🙂

E.g.

"There is a clear expectation that referral agencies will obtain consent prior to making contact about individual children and families, unless it is not appropriate to do so – if it would place a child at increased risk of harm, prejudice the prevention, detection or prosecution of a serious crime or lead to an unjustified delay in making enquiries about allegations of harm. There is an obligation to consider, on all occasions and on a case by case basis, whether information will be shared with or without consent. This determination must always be based on what is reasonable, necessary and proportionate."

Thank you. How normal is it to speak to MH nurse before other referrals go through? I know I need to breathe a bit more and worry a bit less.

It's normal but also be careful what you tell mental health nurse. In my experience they can try and ask questions to trip you up to see if anything serious is going on there. It happened to me- my regular post partum anxiety and fear of something terrible happening to DD became misconstrued as post partum psychosis and THEN she got the social services involved. I had to go to court and have an independent psychiatry report done to prove they were mistaken. Not trying to scare you just letting you know you're in full control of any support you get as long as you're aware of what you need and what to say.

They definitely would've told you if they wanted to make a SS referral in this scenario.

I had severe ptsd after a traumatic birth and never got a SS referral. One of the questions they ask when doing the MH assessment is "are you thinking of harming yourself or others". Unless you answer "yes" I wouldn't expect a referral. Especially since you have your husband at home to support you and the children.

If anyone suggests social services provide support, decline ffs.
We've had them from Nov 5th just gone now thank God. They made a bad situation that could have been dealt with immediately into work for them for 2 months.
They never mentioned it was voluntary, they hounded us making us feel like criminals. We saw about 6/7 in total and because of their treatment towards us 3 are already on disciplinary before our complaint has been finalised.
I'm sure some are helpful and good at their job, but it's the luck of the draw