aibu to have this view of men? I should like to be!

[TheFormerChild]

I am old, borderline ancient.
In the 1950s, 1960s, on our black and white tv there were many films about 'Cowboys and Indians'. It was a non-PC time!
There would be a bar scene - tables and tables of men doing whatever they're doing - betting, drinking.
(There would be some wise-cracking prostitutes).
A man would stand up (believing himself to have been cheated), He would swing a punch - and Every Single Man in that saloon would stand up and punch someone. Every man there was aggressive, only waiting for someone to kick someone around so that they could join in.
Their aggression was innate, just under the surface.
No wonder I'm wary of men.

YANBU to have formed this opinion. Which is resulting from a fairly toxic representation. Damaging to everyone really.

Have you watched any TV since then?

I'm surprised you have based your opinions on men from characters in 50s and 60s westerns. They were movies made for entertainment (and entertainment from that time differs hugely from what is considered entertainment now).

I'm not saying you're unreasonable to have these views about men based on your life experience but YAB massively U to have these views based on unrealistic movies.

They were still showing those exact films when I was a child in the 70s. They also showed a lot of other things on tv that included men actually talking to one another, investigating crimes, doing surgery, driving taxis, singing songs, talking to puppets.

Plus, I knew actual men who didn't randomly start fights, and who Used Their Words, did the washing up, told me bedtime stories etc.

I fail to understand why you chose a random scene from Westerns to base your template of How Men Are on.

I was having a verbal argument with a male partner some years ago. I wouldn't back down because I will not bow down to any man, ever, even if I am in physical danger. I know, probably not wise but it's the way I am. With all the force he could muster, he punched me once in the jaw and once in the back of my neck between ear and spine. I just stood there.

After things had calmed down, he said to me, "fuck, you can't half take a punch". His face was full of amazement and his voice full of admiration.

That's what made me think men have violence in their very soul.

unless you live in Dodge and spend most of your time in a black and red 'can-can' dress hanging around cowboy bars I'd say you are being pretty unreasonable

@ghostyslovesheets

unless you live in Dodge and spend most of your time in a black and red 'can-can' dress hanging around cowboy bars I'd say you are being pretty unreasonable

If so, you need a pistol in your garter.

Yabu, not all men are violent.

I definitely think there’s a subset of men for whom aggression and tribalism (usually fuelled by alcohol) can come together to waive normal social rules in certain situations. Anyone who has been to a nightclub or football match can see that.

But at the risk of NAMALT they really aren’t. Most men are quite scared of getting into fights.

That's pretty accurate. I went to the pub last year and two blokes were playing cards in the corner. They started arguing, the magic self-playing piano got turned off and I was thrown through a window. I woke up in the water trough and someone had stolen my horse.

Can I make the assumption all women are like those in a mills and boon book if I read one once...

They also showed a lot of other things on tv that included men actually talking to one another, investigating crimes, doing surgery, driving taxis, singing songs, talking to puppets

@BillMasen

Can I make the assumption all women are like those in a mills and boon book if I read one once...

Are you suggesting we're not all swanning gracefully downstairs swishing our Titian manes back over our creamy shoulders, wrinkling our adorable noses upon which a few tiny freckles are scattered deliciously, and biting the plump lower lip of which we are terribly ashamed because it's too full? The horror.

He would swing a punch - and Every Single Man in that saloon would stand up and punch someone.

I have actually witnessed something similar at a wedding reception in a football clubhouse way back in the 1990s. Somebody on the bride's side (squaddies) had given somebody on the grooms side (football hooligans) a dirty look. When it kicked off, I just about managed to pick my drink up before a man landed on the table breaking it in half. There were people smashing chairs over heads, just like in the cowboy films. It wasn't just men though, some of the women joined in too.

I retreated to the car park.

Do you believe all women are prostitutes then?

@MindGrapes

Have you watched any TV since then?

A man would stand up (believing himself to have been cheated), He would swing a punch - and Every Single Man in that saloon would stand up and punch someone

Well yes, of course. Could you imagine if Rodeo Joe meekly walked into the saloon and said 'Hey Hank, is it true that you're having, uh, relations with my wife?' Hank replies 'No sir, I aint'. Joe apologises for the misunderstanding, they shake hands and everyone gets back to their business. Shootin' and killin' was what audiences wanted to see back in those days and so that is what they got.

I reckon most mens natural state is to be prone to aggression...However, as we live in a civilized society, most men are taught to have self control and contain it.

I used to watch the same sort of things (I’m pretty ancient) and it’s certainly not affected my view of men in general. I should say I’ve been influenced infinitely more by the men I’ve been close to, who while not being weedy or ineffectual, have nearly all been non-aggressive, sensible and kind.

YANBU OP

I watched Grease when I was little and now I'm wary of American college students, in case they burst into song 🤷‍♀️

And yes aggression in men is innate...it's just that we now generally see it as unacceptable..

That's pretty accurate. I went to the pub last year and two blokes were playing cards in the corner. They started arguing, the magic self-playing piano got turned off and I was thrown through a window. I woke up in the water trough and someone had stolen my horse

Bloody brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

@Pteppic

That's pretty accurate. I went to the pub last year and two blokes were playing cards in the corner. They started arguing, the magic self-playing piano got turned off and I was thrown through a window. I woke up in the water trough and someone had stolen my horse.

fabulous!!!