AIBU to complain about smear test experience?

[Ktmc94]

On Monday I contacted my GP surgery to get a new prescription for my pill. I spoke to the nurse who sorted that out but then proceeded to ambush me into a smear test appointment. I have looked into the screening for myself and was not convinced that I wanted to participate (I'm 26). I got flustered and agreed to the appointment thinking that at the very least I could have a discussion with her about it.

Then yesterday I arrived for my appointment. Blood pressure taken for pill and then I was weighed (didn't see the weight on the scale but I'm about a size 14/16). What came next was effectively a lecture about my weight which sent me reeling because I was already feeling nervous and uncomfortable about what was to come.

I was then ordered to strip behind the curtain without further ado, I tried to intimate that I was feeling apprehensive and was basically told to get on with it "it's only 20 seconds it's fine". No reassurance, no chat about the procedure or pros and cons of screening.

She then presented which, to me, looked like a rather large speculum and I voiced my concerns about it and was told that due to my weight a larger size was needed (I have never given birth). I was shell-shocked by this pronouncement and the bloody thing hurt before it was even opened but was once again told to relax and get on with it.

I left the appointment absolutely devastated at being lectured about my weight while feeling too vulnerable to assert myself. Fine, I need to do something about it but to launch immediately into a diabetes and heart disease lecture and then telling me that because I'm a bit chunky it means I must have a fat vag and offering no further explanation on the matter was just too much in my view.

I couldn't sleep last night tossing between wondering if I'm overreacting and feeling very upset about what happened. I phoned the practice manager this morning to discuss what had happened and was not encouraged. She skipped over the part about me trying to make an informed choice before deciding to screen and said "but you're 26 you should have had one by now" and "the nurse has been doing these on a daily basis for 30 odd years" and then rounded off by saying "not in any way to diminish your feelings about what happened" while having no comment on the fact that a weight lecture took up more of the appointment than some much needed reassurance about an invasive test.

I can't find anyone of any size who has been refused even a try with a smaller speculum and if I'm being honest I'm not massively fat, just pandemic misery has got me seeking dopamine in the biscuit tin but she could not have cared less about the state of my mental health. I'm still spotting and cramping which I had to find out for myself were side effects.

When did they start the first screening at 25? In my day you had it from the age of 16. Obviously as a sixteen year old I wasn’t thrilled about it, but now I’m older and wiser I think myself luckily to have had so many smear tests.

“You are 26, you should've have a smear before now”

I thought you need to be sexually active. I’m of the same age and not so I’ve never had a smear test. I would’ve been petrified. Don’t know why you’re getting so much hate.

[quote djddjj]@TableFlowerss

I'm an emergency department doctor, you do not need to tell me about healthcare staff putting themselves at risk.

I am quite appalled by your comment and hope you are not a healthcare professional.

Perhaps I'll try it out at work then, if that's what's classed as ok. I'll do all of my examinations, including pelvic and rectal examinations, without explaining the procedure or asking if the patient would like to ask any questions. They've come to a&e, they should expect it right? Yep, let's do away with all bedside manner and empathy. Great. [/quote]
Give over ‘I’m a doctor palava’ so what? God for you!!! What difference does that make to the nurses work load?

The fact that if you had a crash right now, by the sounds of it, you’d be lucky to get an ambulance and could be left to die, same for all of us.

Right now, you know during that unprecedented pandemic....

So yes, as I’ve already said, the nurse probably was OTT but she’s probably stressed to the hilt and thinking she’s doing good. OP could refuse, no one pinned her down and forced her!!!

Sorry you went through that OP. I'm about your dress size and the nurse used the small speculum on me after she asked if I'd had children.
She talked me through what was going to happen and then asked me questions during the procedure to keep me talking. You shouldn't have been made to feel like you did. You were right to raise it.

@saffire

If you wanted to make an informed decision you should've done that before going and not booked an appointment to waste their time. You could've said no at any time.

You are 26, you should've have a smear before now. They aren't a fun thing, but something that can save your life! You could have abnormal cells and have absolutely no symptoms until it's too late. It's something that could potentially save your life.

And, the nurse lecturing you about your weight was also doing it for your benefit. If you get any bigger they may not fill your prescription next time as then you will be a risk of blood clots.

Complain if you want, but I doubt much will come of it. You can also have your name removed from the cervical screening program, but quite frankly that would be a foolish thing to do. Read this before you decide to do that or not www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/cervical-cancer-jade-goody-death-16739408

If you get any bigger they may not fill your prescription next time

What the fuck?!? Where on earth have you got this nonsense from????? That would be a grossly negligent dereliction of care

@TableFlowerss

You are being unfathomably rude.

I hope you don't work in healthcare.

@Sexnotgender

I’m sorry you felt uncomfortable.

A 14/16 is on the large side though and it’s literally her job to discuss this with you.

I think you’re being over sensitive generally.

Since WHEN was size 14/16 on the large side?!?! Besides, you have no clue how tall OP is. I've seen some tall women who wear a 14 and look stick thin

This is hard- you're entitled to your feelings, but you weren't forced. You could have said no to the appointment, it cancelled over the phone before hand. If sexually active- they are important. And mentioning your weight- it's their role. It doesn't make it any more pleasant though. I don't see where you have a complaint- but maybe you can make a follow up appt at some point to discuss?

@LochJessMonster

- Smear tests save lives

• Obesity is bad for your health
• Body size doesn’t really affect vagina size, she would have chosen the speculum size based on what you required.

But yes she should have discussed the procedure with you more to put you at ease, especially as it was your first time.

How in God's name is size 14 'Obese?!?!' 🤣

I can't find anyone of any size who has been refused even a try with a smaller speculum and if I'm being honest I'm not massively fat.

I don’t want to call you a liar OP but it all seems a bit OTT. How would you know or where have you been looking that tells you what size speculum a woman has had during her smear?

I think the weight comments was necessary tbh I don’t think these conversations are brought up and raised enough. I can appreciate it’s not nice though. It’s for your own good.

I think it sounds like the nurse had an unfortunate manner, op.

[quote daisyjgrey]@TableFlowerss

You are being unfathomably rude.

I hope you don't work in healthcare. [/quote]
And I sincerely hope you have the backs of your colleagues, during these unprecedented times...

A size 14 could definitely be obese if the OP isn’t very tall?? We have no idea her height so perhaps she is only 5ft in which case she would be clearly overweight and it was right for the nurse to educate her about the risks this posed on the pill.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

A smear saved my life. You sound entitled and ungrateful. Obesity is not healthy either.

Since when was size 14 obese?!?!?!

Google it - the screening starts at age 25 regardless of sexual activity. The OP was getting her prescription for the pill so it’s a moot point for her anyway.

@CostaDelCovid
ive not read many of the answers but I can tell you my experience. When I was on the pill (or nuvaring in my case) I was around 16size and 30+ bmi. Doctors had commented they were not happy if I put more weight to prescribe it as there are some risks of taking this hormones if you’re classified as obese. Not long after I decided to try for a baby so I didn’t have more problems with it (and actually when I had to go to an nhs clinic for help getting pregnant I was 29.5 and they said if I went over 30 they’d not help me). So whilst I consider myself healthy on a 14-16 I might not be on the eyes of a doctor.

And sorry op you’re having such a hard time. Some of the comments remind me of “if you didn’t want to be raped then you should not have been wearing such a short skirt”. She might have been doing her job but she was lacking some empathy , especially if it was your first time.

For those blaming the op for not having had one bedore. This is what NHS says “All women and people with a cervix aged 25 to 64 should be invited by letter.
”. So op wasnt that far from 25 anyway

First world problems... you are offered a smear test at the worst point in the pandemic and are moaning about it. I’m sorry but you cannot be expected to be nursed through a procedure that you are old enough to be able to Google beforehand. What kind of preamble where you expecting?! How should you have been asked to take off your clothes? You sound like a snowflake, sorry.

Screening starts at 25 but if you’re a virgin you seemingly don’t have to go - I’m a virgin at 29 and have been told it isn’t necessary . I have had a smear but only because I was very symptomatic and gynaecologist wanted to get a view of my cervix... was told it was highly unlikely to be cervical cancer though as doesn’t tend to happen in virgins .

@SidekickSally

Google it - the screening starts at age 25 regardless of sexual activity. The OP was getting her prescription for the pill so it’s a moot point for her anyway.

Pills are not only prescribed for contraception. It can be for those of us who have pcos and barely have periods so helping with it. I had it when I was younger despite I didn’t have a bf.

@TableFlowerss healthcare workers should be continuing to provide care to an acceptable standard. This is the standard I hold myself to, and this is the standard I hold others to. There are unavoidable things occurring due to the pandemic; lack of ITU beds, delayed outpatient appointments and so on (there is an exhaustive list of course). But this pandemic is not a reason to drop basics such as, you know, talking to a women before doing her first cervical cytology. I'm not sure how the state of ITU affects whether OP could have had a decent cervical cytology appointment, unlike the one she has had which will probably make her less likely to go back in future.

@Notanotherfreak

First world problems... you are offered a smear test at the worst point in the pandemic and are moaning about it. I’m sorry but you cannot be expected to be nursed through a procedure that you are old enough to be able to Google beforehand. What kind of preamble where you expecting?! How should you have been asked to take off your clothes? You sound like a snowflake, sorry.

I can’t help bit think you’re comments are a bit harsh....

HOWEVER

I can’t say I disagree 🙈😬

[quote djddjj]@TableFlowerss healthcare workers should be continuing to provide care to an acceptable standard. This is the standard I hold myself to, and this is the standard I hold others to. There are unavoidable things occurring due to the pandemic; lack of ITU beds, delayed outpatient appointments and so on (there is an exhaustive list of course). But this pandemic is not a reason to drop basics such as, you know, talking to a women before doing her first cervical cytology. I'm not sure how the state of ITU affects whether OP could have had a decent cervical cytology appointment, unlike the one she has had which will probably make her less likely to go back in future.
[/quote]
No one is saying the nurse was lovely or acted completely appropriately......but right now, during covid times (I assumed you should know better than anyone) sometime healthcare professionals get it wrong. So to complain etc imo is a bit shit on the nurse.

A smear is not a nice procedure. I can’t imagine many women would say, I love it, but equally for our own sake, it’s something we really should do.

I’ll reiterate, Ive got several friends who had abnormal smears and god knows what would haze happened if they weren’t screened.

It’s great being softly softly but the nurse hasn’t got time to reassure every patent for a prolonged period. What do they have, 10 mins each appointment?

I think you are getting a lot of unduly harsh comments, OP.

You are entitled to be treated with respect. You shouldn't come out of an appointment feeling the way you are feeling.

It is important to have smear tests, though.

Find out the nurse's name and ask for someone else the next time you need to see a nurse. There are plenty of nice ones around!

OP is entitled to feel crap about it and that’s fair enough, if it’s how she feels.

What I don’t agree with is her complaining. In other circumstances yes then complain, but right now I don’t think it’s helping

Just FYI for anyone on here who’s experienced problems with smears; there are options such as My Body Back . I have a horrendous phobia of internal examinations having been forced into them at a very young age (ie under 10) and am thankfully now given a hell of a lot of help . Usually have GP do smear with nurse holding hand, and given a sedative first and strong painkiller . There are other options - it’s a necessary test but doesn’t have to be painful or distressing .