Furlough Maid

[yellowjustwantsanap]

Morning Mumsnet!

I have a AIBU question, basically I am currently furloughed and have been now for about 10 days, DP is working from home and has been since March of last year.

We work really well together normally, shared dinner making/school runs/cleaning. Except now that I am furloughed he appears to have breathed a sigh of relief that he no longer has to do anything anymore. At all. Not a thing.

I normally work part time, that has been swapped out with homeschool with the kids off and does keep me busy. It's like he sees me as a maid, gives me a time to have dinner ready by and has now started even putting dishes next to the dishwasher instead of in it (if they even make it that far). He hasn't emptied a dishwasher, wiped a side, did a clothes wash, bathed the kids, or even offered up any assistance with anything. I've never seen him take advantage of me in this way before and it's really making me view him in a different light.

I know I have more free time then him, but I feel he is taking the pee a little? Just because I have more time now, does that mean he should do NOTHING?

I am fully prepared to be told I am being unfair btw. I feel like I am, and that I am being a little selfish. Maybe being told that will stop my resentment towards him growing.

Thank you for any responses!!

You are both busy all day - you with homeschooling the kids, and him with his daytime work. At 6 pm (or whenever) you both clock off and have joint responsibility for the kids and the housework.

(This really does need nipping in the bud. He is being an utter arse.)

I wouldn't worry whether you raised it the 'right' way or not.

You've told him now - so give him a chance to see if he changes his behaviour.

It's his attitude, like you wrote - he's treating you like a maid.

Like others have said he's not your boss. You don't tell him what time to get to work, what time to be finished etc so he shouldn't tell you what time to have dinner ready. Or not do basic cleaning up for himself. That is ridiculous. Besides it seems like he's taking homeschooling to mean you're free 24/7? When that's not the case.

It's also a bad habit to get in once you get back to work. He'll be in the habit of having his "personal maid" and that's a dynamic I would want to stamp out immediately. Not just for cleaning but for lack of respect. How is he treating you in general? It should be a partnership.