Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School work woes

55 replies

Gutted2day · 13/01/2021 22:45

Just that really, struggling to wfh and the tasks. DS just about treads water at school (Y5) so needs me to be with him when completing assignments. Its 2 hours on maths and 2 hours on english with another hour on re/science/art depending on what is set for the day. I have set hours so its devices until I am free to help so everyday is feeling like walking through treacle. How are you all coping???

OP posts:
NemoRocksMyWorld · 13/01/2021 23:04

Poorly Grin

Original poster
Gutted2day · 13/01/2021 23:12

Fantastic not just me then Confused

OP posts:
Lemmeout · 13/01/2021 23:16

WFH ft so I know it’s a struggle. I have 3 at home Youngest 8 and needs constant support. We manage by doing maths, english, reading and spellings. English online today was personification !!! I don’t think I’m thick but really ... for 8 year olds this is a big ask.

CharlieandLolaCat · 13/01/2021 23:21

It literally makes me want to dig my eyes out with spoons. Trying to do a responsible job well and supervise/support/teach my 6 yr old has meant that I have spent most of the last two days in floods of tears. My DS is uncooperative but perfectly capable and I am a perfectionist. Literally my idea of hell. I think because I have an expectation of how horrendous it is this time I am struggling so much more mentally and my resilience is through the floor. I am literally lying in bed dreading tomorrow morning and the prospect of doing it all over again. I am a much better parent when he is at school and I am able to do my job and be an adult for a bit.

Original poster
Gutted2day · 13/01/2021 23:29

Oh my this is me. I had such a pop at DS yesterday as he spent an hour doing a really simple task but was so poorly executed. I had a go then he got upset and I had a cry because I knew I had been horrid Blush

OP posts:
laudete · 13/01/2021 23:32

Honestly? Horribly. It's all turning into a giant compromise. I'm particularly annoyed about the elective subjects that I didn't do at school (because I chose to do other subjects) and am now being forced to do via my kids. I have no problem walking them through algebra but I really don't enjoy being forced to do stuff like geography and drama.

Iggly · 13/01/2021 23:35

My ds struggles. Simply because the home schooling doesn’t involve enough teaching and how can it?

Having volunteered in a school for a year, I can see it’s so different. The teacher spends a lot of time explaining, guiding etc and then the kids have a go. At home they get little guidance and are expected to just crack on by themselves?

With ds he does much much better if I’m with him guiding him. I’m trying to let go of the idea he has to produce masses by himself and it’s ok if I give him loads of input and just get him to think a bit. It’s intense but we are happier.

The tears come when I try and force him to do something and rush him, but it just doesn’t work so I have to back off.

I try and remind myself - kids are supposed to be learning not being tested. Ie they need a lot of input!

I fucking hate home school though.

EmilyEmmabob · 13/01/2021 23:39

I think I'm coping about the same as you. It is a massive struggle to work from home and homeschool (my DC are 8 and 5).

The irony is that I'm teaching online for my secondary students and causing the misery that I'm having inflicted on myself.

I think this is a period of time that we just have to close our eyes for and hold on. Hopefully it'll be over soon.

Original poster
Gutted2day · 13/01/2021 23:40

@Iggly this is us too. I know that he is struggling and it works so much better when I have the time to dedicate but with work on top I just can't do it all

OP posts:
Original poster
Gutted2day · 13/01/2021 23:43

@EmilyEmmabob wow so you are getting it from all sides Shock

OP posts:
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 13/01/2021 23:45

We are WFH and home schooling ds in Y5. He gets a couple of hours 1 on 1 and whatever else we can fit in. He won't do it by himself. As long as you're making some effort every day. If it's not good enough let the teacher give feedback rather than you.

cherish123 · 14/01/2021 00:40

I would just make sure he does numeracy and literacy task - perhaps a mix of reading and writing. Don't worry if he doesn't complete everything. Also - get out for exercise. Don't worry about the rest.

SquashedFlyBiscuits · 14/01/2021 00:48

Feeling guilty all the time.
Neglecting my child to teach others people's and support parents.
Not using kw provision as DH (teacher too) is older so risks are higher.
Stressing that there could be more I could do to support my class and their parents.
Never enough time.
Always up late.
Shattered.
Missing my class.
Worried about schools reopening
Worried about them staying shut
All.is crap

Robbybobtail · 14/01/2021 00:51

Yep I’m in the same boat. I made dd9 cry yesterday and felt wretched. She is constantly messing about and jumping off her chair etc when she’s supposed to be listening to the teacher explaining the work. Then it’s down to me to re-explain it all even though I often don’t get it myself!
Too much work, system too complicated IMO - feel like I don’t know what’s going on half the time and apart from the maths she hates it all - I have to threaten and bribe her. The rest of the class seem to just be getting on with it themselves, which I know may not be true but I feel like I shouldn’t be having to sit with her most of the day just to make sure the bulk of the work gets done - she isn’t even doing the extra subjects such as art and history!
She’s a clever girl but I think she struggles to concentrate and being at home instead of a school environment is hugely detrimental to her learning.
I hate it.

lavenderlou · 14/01/2021 00:51

There is a real conflict between what the government obligates schools to provide and what most parents can manage. You can only do what you can do.

BluebellsGreenbells · 14/01/2021 00:53

Set a timer and do 20 mins of each task with a break in between

Give it time and he’ll Knick down and focus for those 20 mins rather than ham drag it out

Add in a reward, be cheerful, let’s get this done in 20 mins and then we’ll have some ice cream

It’s the only way

Rose789 · 14/01/2021 01:53

With gaviscon caused by acid reflux as a result of the stress
With coffee- all of the coffee to get me through the day
With gin and a little cry when they go to bed.

Splitting my shifts so I work 6.30am-8.30am.
We go for a walk from 8.30-9 to drop off youngest at nursery.
9-10 school work whatever has been set
10-10.20 drink and snack.
10.20-11.30 school work.
Then I make a packed lunch bung it at her and she can watch tv/film play on the iPad while I work 11.30-1.30.
1.30-3 we do something together to learn without having to sit at a table e.g. baking, science experiments, LEGO etc.
3-5 I work while she plays
5- dh gets home with youngest then it’s tea, bath bed etc

I log back in to do the remaining 2 hours of my shift when they are in bed. But normally ends up being more like 4 to ensure everything gets done. Normally 8pm until midnight.

Original poster
Gutted2day · 14/01/2021 05:32

Thank you for sharing your experiences it really does help - not that it would wish it on anyone! I think it also feels like he is massively behind due to the previous periods of closure so my own anxiety is also contributing to the stress. @Robbybobtail my son totally thrives on the school environment to bounce ideas etc...so this is another key factor. Unfortunately my workload increases 3 fold during each lockdown so it is just relentless at the moment. Wholeheartedly agree it is indeed shit.

OP posts:
RonObvious · 14/01/2021 05:49

I’ve realised as well that my daughter (9) models her behaviour and work on her peers, so really struggles when it is just her. We also have to guide her through every task, and she gets frustrated so easily. My son (7) was impossible last time around, but seems a bit better this time. Fortunately he utterly adores his teacher, so wants to make her happy even at a distance (to be fair, she is pretty awesome).

My work? Hahahahahahahahahahahhaha. Fortunately my boss is pretty understanding. But I have some pretty serious deadlines looming. Stress levels are on the up.

Iggly · 14/01/2021 06:06

[quote Gutted2day]@Iggly this is us too. I know that he is struggling and it works so much better when I have the time to dedicate but with work on top I just can't do it all[/quote]
I agree. We can’t do it all. Luckily DH helps and does his fair share. This time he’s doing more than me as I’m busier at work.

lurch3r · 14/01/2021 06:16

*lavenderlou

There is a real conflict between what the government obligates schools to provide and what most parents can manage. You can only do what you can do.*

This.

SquashedFlyBiscuits · 14/01/2021 06:51

@lavenderlou totally agree. I hate that I am having to set so much that is is making the vast majority of the families is my class really stressed and anxious. I hate it.

Meerkatmummy4 · 14/01/2021 08:05

Urgh! First task of the day ds4 argues and temper tantrums as he doesn't want to be at home! When we eventually get there usually with the bribe of chocolate and the comments he'll get from his favourite teachers he decides that he wants to do the reading app while i want to sit down and cry! Obviously he needs my help with this app so I'm sat next to him arguments galore as he insists he can do it all by himself but then... Mummy what's this?

HugeAckmansWife · 14/01/2021 08:12

I'm a teacher so having to pace myself with my live lessons and my 2 kids needing theirs. The thing I find hardest is letting DS, 11, hand in work that is scrappy and a mess.. But it's his work. It's what he'd do if he was at school and me micro managing causes enormous conflict and stress. It's balancing the need to push for effort and improvement vs the need for a healthy emotional environment.

notanothertakeaway · 14/01/2021 08:24

I think 5 hours school work per day is a lot. Our school are encouraging pupils to do 3-4 hours, if they can

A few suggestions - reading for pleasure, jigswaws are good for concentration and fine motor skills, a walk is good for fitness and mental well-being, cooking is good for arithmetic

And remember, we're in the middle of something huge, do what you can with school work, and structure / routine of school work may be helpful, but I would prioritise emotional well-being. If there a few gaps in knowledge, they can be filled later