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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her the trial session is off?

50 replies

LemonSherbetFancies · 12/01/2021 22:43

I am employing home help, particularly as I may need help with homeschooling my granddaughter if my daughter ends up having to go into hospital for an op. I need home with homeschooling mainly for a few hours a day. I called up someone who sounded very good from the care website. She was so shy it was untrue. She was laughing a lot most likely from nerves, was asking a few questions but mainly seemed like she would not be up for the job. On the phone I said I would get her in for a trial session. Now I am not so sure. Would it be so wrong for me to cancel and find someone new?

OP posts:
MissMarpleDarling · 12/01/2021 22:45

No not all. YANBU OP. Find someone else.

pelosi · 12/01/2021 22:47

YANBU. The interview is to see if she is the right person for the job, and now you know she isn’t. Next time resist the impulse to say they can have a trial session though!

Pollaidh · 12/01/2021 22:47

I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt and see her in action. We had a nanny who had top level training (Norland) but was very shy and came over strangely to parents and adults (silent and abrupt). She was absolutely amazing with the children though. I make sure to mention it when asked for references, because people might write her off from the initial phone call.

Original poster
LemonSherbetFancies · 12/01/2021 22:53

DP said it's probably because I am so chatty that I noticed it more but I am not sure.
I don't know why I offered her a trial, bit stupid really. Now it's going to be awkward telling her that it is now not going ahead.

OP posts:
Joinedjustforthispost · 12/01/2021 23:20

Yabu just because she comes across as shy! She may actually be very good at her job. Better to have someone that’s shy and brilliant at there job then gobby and terrible! Just give her a chance that’s what trials are all about.

AnnaSW1 · 12/01/2021 23:21

If you're not sure about her then stick with your instincts

Enidblyton1 · 12/01/2021 23:34

I agree with pp that she may be shy with adults yet wonderful with children. DDs nursery teacher was like that a few years ago. I didn’t warm to her at all when I met her - she appeared rude with her shyness rather than giggly. If I had taken my DD elsewhere I would never have realised what a great nursery teacher she was.
But you have to trust your instincts and it’s fine to cancel the trial if you don’t think you’d like to employ her.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 12/01/2021 23:37

Are you sure a home help from a care agency is the right person anyway to tutor a child?

Diverseduvet · 12/01/2021 23:37

It's perfectly fine to say you've found someone else and to thank her for her time. Being able to communicate with the adults in the family is also very important, especially if it's based in your home.

JetBlackSteed · 12/01/2021 23:50

Go for the trial option then, that seems the best option.
But my first instinct is normally correct.

Sinful8 · 12/01/2021 23:52

So you don't want to hire her because she laughed a lot and was shy in an interview?

Is the real reason DPs eyes wondered

unfortunateevents · 13/01/2021 00:04

Who did you phone to find someone to help with homeschooling? If you phoned a care agency, they supply people to help with personal care, housekeeping, errands etc. If you need someone to help your granddaughter you probably need a nanny agency. Did you explain the role clearly to the person you spoke to?

StamfordHill · 13/01/2021 00:46

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BoomBoomsCousin · 13/01/2021 01:21

@StamfordHill

What would you have to lose by giving someone one single trial session? Most successful people only got to where they did by catching a break at one point or another.
^^ This. Shyness/confidence in interview isn't a great indicator of competence for most jobs. If you had other concerns about her then rescinding your offer of a trial makes more sense.
ComtesseDeSpair · 13/01/2021 01:28

When it comes to a lot of roles, particular care and support or vocational ones, the best way to interview somebody is asking them to demonstrate how they perform their role - i.e. in a trial session. That’s a far better indication of their capability than their response to questions.

If footballers were hired on their ability to answer questions about how they play football, I doubt David Beckham or Wayne Rooney would have gotten contracts, despite being excellent footballers!

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 13/01/2021 01:31

If you've offered her a trial then you should probably give her one.

Don't assume that she won't be right for the job until you've seen her in action with your granddaughter.

NoseinBook3 · 13/01/2021 01:33

I would personally want to see how she interacted with children but if you aren’t comfortable then cancel it.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 13/01/2021 01:36

If you'll only need homeschooling help if DD has her op, what were you going to trial her with now?

Maybe she isn't very comfortable essentially being employed to homeschool? Is English her first language?

CostaDelCovid · 13/01/2021 01:37

You sound extremely judgemental. I often have a nervous laugh on first conversations but that is NOT who I am at all.....

Cadent · 13/01/2021 01:40

Is the real reason DPs eyes wondered

Wondered what?

Orlania · 13/01/2021 02:20

Wondered what?

👀 🤔 🤣

GreenWheat · 13/01/2021 03:09

Absolutely trust your gut feel. You need to be comfortable with her as well as her being good at the job. Just ring her and say you have found someone else. You know you are not going to hire her so a trial session is wasting both your and her time.

mimi0708 · 13/01/2021 03:20

You won't lose anything OP by going ahead with the trial session. Maybe it's better to see first how she interacts with the kid. Some people are just really shy but that doesn't mean they aren't good with their jobs.

oakleaffy · 13/01/2021 03:35

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

Are you sure a home help from a care agency is the right person anyway to tutor a child?
This.

Does she know how to actually teach??

If it is things like reading, learning the sounds of letters &c, learning to write, she will need to know what she is doing.

Same with [If an older child] Maths &c.

oakleaffy · 13/01/2021 03:43

@Sinful8

So you don't want to hire her because she laughed a lot and was shy in an interview?

Is the real reason DPs eyes wondered

Maybe it was indeed the fine figure, slim waist and long glossy locks that caused her partner's eyes too 'Wonder'

''Wonder how I can chat this young siren up''?

Ok, being facetious, but stranger things have happened.

Probably the reason older Nannies are popular.

Brogues, Lisle stockings and a neat no nonsense uniform?