I have fucked up.

[ShittingFuck]

I've name changed for this... its not a begging thread either, I just need to get it off my chest.

I've lost over £1000 of my student loan I recieved yesterday through gambling. Money is tight as it is with out having that much less. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Money I could have spent on my wonderful, beautiful, amazing DD, but it's gone. I'm writing here to distract me from desperately trying to win it back. I hate my self.
The irony is, I lived with my ex partner, a compulsive gambler for years. I know it runs lives. I don't even know why I did it, other than desperation at my shitty situation.
FFS

Do you gamble habitually? Can you have a look for helplines? Is there someone you trust who can hold the rest of your money so you don't continue?

Do not try to win it back. Try to save it back. Even a tenner a week would take 2 years to get it back.

Close your account, don’t let yourself gamble more. That’s a good idea about somebody else looking after the money.

No, I had a random blip in September, lost £200 and never thought about it since. Then the money went into my account yesterday and I just though "what if" and here I am.

No one I can transfer my money to either.

You can block yourself from online gambling
www.gamstop.co.uk/

You will not win it back, you're right to distract yourself. As painful as it is, you need to write that off as a loss, ban yourself immediately from all sites. You know the damage that problem gambling does as you've said, so quit now. And, importantly, try not to beat yourself up too much, gambling is designed to get you hooked and take everything from you. The only way you'll resist the temptation to try to win it back is by banning yourself from everywhere.

It's gone, there is no getting it back. None.

What you can do is maximise every penny of what you do have, and not by gambling- that would only see what you do have join the 'Gone'pot.

Is there someone who can help you manage your money? Work out a budget for what you need?

you poor love can you put this behind you, get help, start again, forgive and forget?

Do you live in your own now? I really would try and confide in a friend or family member and together put restrictions on your phone or laptop for gambling sites. As someone said above, do not try and win it back. You have clearly recognised at this point, stop yourself from going any further.

GAMSTOP

block you having any access.

So sorry OP, remember this moment to stop yourself doing this again and forget the money it’s gone, no what ifs.

I think you should contact Gamblers Anonymous immediately; their website says they’re open 24hrs a day.

You need urgent help to stop you from digging yourself deeper in this hole 💐

Your bank should be able to block any future payments to gambling websites. Doesn't help now I know, but may do in future. For example:
www.hsbc.co.uk/help/card-support/gambling-restrictions/ www.barclays.co.uk/money-management/money-worries/get-help-to-stop-gambling/

Overdraft?

I already know about gamestop, getting your bank to block the transactions, speaking to gamcare... I've been through all this. I feel such an idiot. I just need to apply it all to myself but some how I cant?

OP focus on your DD and get help. You can do it.

There is no winning back.

I already have 2 over drafts and an almost maxed out credit card (from exp gambling)
I was just getting my life together, I have no idea what happened.

Ok firstly don’t throw good money after bad. Resolve to get help with your gambling and recognise the high that you felt is replacing a gap you feel in your life. You cannot change what happened so don’t waste a moment more of your life worrying about something you could not change. Worrying will just make you hate yourself and right now, you need to be your own best friend and support yourself through this.

You will get through it!
A trick I learned was to make a game of it eg
Get excited about shopping on a budget- Join an “eat for £1 a day group” . You will get lots of support and great advice.
Your dad cares about you, not designer clothes. Show her
You love her by thinking of fun things to do and enjoying your time with her.
Start a savings jar- even if you are putting in 5p a day it is a start and you will watch your money grow.
Learn about budgeting, saving and how to spend less- read lots of articles about it and this this as the defining moment that set you on the path to better money habits- you might even look back and be great full for the lesson that you learned.
You can’t change what life throws at you but you can change how you deal with it- be calm, mature and believe that you will get through it.

If it helps OP I went through a phase where the dcs broke laptops, TVs etc regularly.-always completely by accident. To begin with, I felt sick- but then I realised it’s only money. Money means nothing when compared to your relationship with your child- focus on what you have, not what you
lost.

Your dad not your dad!

I know someone who did something very similar with a similar amount of money and made it back part time shelf stacking at a supermarket over night for about two/three months. Would this be an option for you?

Dd!

I am a CG .... I feel your pain.

It’s 3 years since I last gambled, thanks to Gamstop (please register). I tried all sorts of self exclusions etc, but nothing worked until I registered with them.

I was over £20k in debt ... that’s now under £10k ... I made a plan to pay the debt back, and that’s what I am doing. I felt so much shame when I was gambling (it was online slots with me), and I would just spin and spin - even when I did win, I just put it all back in.

I also used the Gamcare forums, they also offer counselling.

The money is gone, you are not going to win it back, accept the loss.

It’s really hard, but you can get through it

Luckily I have family who adore DD, she wont go with out, they spoil her rotten. Its rent, bills, food shopping. I cant even access the university hardship fund, they require bank statements and they'll know it's my fault I have no money. I'm waiting to connect to a gamcare advisor

You've got a good family OP, transfer your money to them.

You can pay your debt back slowly. You're not a bad person. It's all OK. You cannot reverse time. Look forward. You can get through this. You do not need to disregard all your progress. That is all there. It is just a step back.