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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want cancer to just fuck off?

46 replies

malificent7 · 11/01/2021 23:00

A friend of mine( not close) passed away the other day from cancer...about 30 years too soon.
Then last year another young friend died of cancer and MIL who was 70 but still awful.
Now my dad has a biopsy for possible cancer and my mum died of it 10 years ago.
Perhaps worse is when i did work experience at the kids' hospital and seeing children without hair was heart breaking.
Aibu to want to cancer to fuck off and be horrified at how indescriminate and unfair it is?
Also, why do so many of us get it and why is chemo so shit at curing it?

OP posts:
Dee1975 · 11/01/2021 23:02

I’m sorry for your your losses op and I hope your dad is ok.
Yep, I wish cancer would do one too x

LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 11/01/2021 23:05

I agree. My husband has a rare endocrine cancer. So rare there's little research gone into it and therefore little anyone can do. Chemotherapy has no effect on it all. What can we do but wait for the inevitable.

Thedogscollar · 11/01/2021 23:07

Yes OP I have two ex colleagues both in their 50s with terminal cancer. Both worked all their lives in NHS. It's shit and unfair. I have another colleague in her 40's going through cancer treatment right now.
Saw my lovely kind Mum suffer unbelievably with this shit disease. Yes I wish it would piss off forever too.
Condolences for your losses.

Original poster
malificent7 · 11/01/2021 23:27

Sorry for everyone's losses...jut seems to be everywhere atm.

OP posts:
cherryblosm · 11/01/2021 23:35

Oh yes. My 19 year old cousin died of it, our friends wife died of it (in her 30s) my aunty has it, my mum had it and my dad died of it last year. My friend lost both parents to it, another friends dad just died of it...what a roll call!

But I have to say my mum has been cancer free for 10 years, another friend had leukemia as a kid and has been fine since. My aunty was treated very quickly and is doing well despite the covid shut downs and another friend also had her cervical cancer caught fast and is doing well.

Overall - it is really really terrible. But many people can be treated and then move on. I just hope that happens more and more. Covid is terrible for those who are affected.

teaandcustardcreamsx · 12/01/2021 00:45

YADNBU. Cancer can fuck off, sick of it’s fucking existence. Flowers for everyone’s losses

Sinful8 · 12/01/2021 02:53

@malificent7

A friend of mine( not close) passed away the other day from cancer...about 30 years too soon. Then last year another young friend died of cancer and MIL who was 70 but still awful. Now my dad has a biopsy for possible cancer and my mum died of it 10 years ago. Perhaps worse is when i did work experience at the kids' hospital and seeing children without hair was heart breaking. Aibu to want to cancer to fuck off and be horrified at how indescriminate and unfair it is? Also, why do so many of us get it and why is chemo so shit at curing it?
Its literally you.

Any treatment that is harmful to cancer is harmful to you too.

It happens because entrusting the construction and maintaince of the most complicated machine on the planet to unintelligent borderline chemical clockwork is insane but it works.

Imagine if I gave you a copy of harry potter and told you to rewrite it, every typo or mistake you make is a cancer.

Sinful8 · 12/01/2021 02:54

@malificent7

Sorry for everyone's losses...jut seems to be everywhere atm.
In the uk theres very little else left to kill you tbf
loubieloo4 · 12/01/2021 03:35

Yadnu dh (40) has stage 4 terminal cancer with mets in to many places to count, he's already outlived his life expectancy so just waiting for the inevitable here too.

Oysterbabe · 12/01/2021 06:59

I got to about 35 without knowing anyone with cancer and then my mum was diagnosed with leukemia and died 10 days later. And then a 26 year old friend was diagnosed with incurable breast cancer which has now spread to her brain. And then another friend's baby was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Suddenly its everywhere.
Yeah it can fuck off.

blindspots · 12/01/2021 07:03

My 2 year old son's leukaemia is very likely to kill him. Cancer can fuck right off, and it is definitely not as curable as some people think it is these days

Stellabellawella · 12/01/2021 07:27

Same here. My beautiful brave mum died in September last year of the bastard thing. 8 months after being diagnosed and 5 months after her chemo was stopped because of covid.
Another big fuck off cancer from me.
Sorry for everyone’s losses.

lollipoprainbow · 12/01/2021 07:34

Same here it took my lovely sister way too soon. It came totally out if the blue (no symptoms until too late) and totally ravaged her. She died 8 weeks after diagnosis.

Summerdayshaze · 13/01/2021 23:05

My mum died of cancer in 2018. Then I got cancer in 2019 and almost died. Our treatments were brutal.

I hate it too, OP. Much love. Take care.

Theluggage15 · 13/01/2021 23:14

It’s horrendous. My mum was fine, thought she had an infection, discovered it was cancer and 7 weeks later she was dead at 64. My mother in law had some niggling pains, couple of investigations later was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. From diagnosis to death was 5 weeks.

It’s utterly shit and it’s a great shame that some of the billions that have been flung at covid couldn’t have been found for cancer research. In fact I was reading a horrible report yesterday explaining how research is going to be put back years because of the various effects of the pandemic.

Sorry OP and everyone else, so sorry blindspots.

romany4 · 13/01/2021 23:25

It's fucking horrible.

I lost my dad, my nan and 2 good friends to cancer.
DH mum is currently dying from lung cancer which has spread.
It took my dad in 7 weeks from diagnosis to death

Cancer can go Fuck itself

peachgreen · 13/01/2021 23:30

Yup. My DB has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer at the age of 32. We're still waiting to find out the stage but thankfully it doesn't seem to have spread to any other organs. This is 10 weeks after my DH died suddenly from heart failure. I feel broken. Fuck cancer.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 22/01/2021 20:56

I agree. I am lucky chemo and radio seem to have got rid of mine. Although a part of me will always be expecting it to return.

But not my friends who is 32. And her little boy isn't even 2. It's so bloody unfair. I feel so angry for people who lives are cut short from it.

It's just an awful awful cruel disease

TheGoogleMum · 22/01/2021 21:00

Cancer is horrible. If we could eradicate it that would amazing (I'd lose my job as it involves cancer treatment but totally worth it). At least the survival rates continue to improve the more we learn (although we can expect it to get worse for a bit as covid will cause later diagnosis)

LetMeBubble · 22/01/2021 21:02

Oh wow such sad stories here but you ladies sound so resilient Flowers

Wishihadanalgorithm · 22/01/2021 21:05

My mum died of cancer when I was 12. I have also lost my brother and 2 sisters to cancer and then, 18 months ago, a very dear friend died of it after battling the disease for 5 years. Even my dog died of the bloody disease.

Cancer can fuck off to the far side of fuck.

whereismormonjesus · 22/01/2021 21:11

I’ve always thought I’d rather have a sudden quick death than cancer. It’s horrible, absolutely horrible.

I think the cruelest part of cancer other than chemo is the high reoccurrence rates. I could never feel fully content after being cured because every twinge I’d be thinking it was back. It’s like once you’re diagnosed, even if you’re cured you can’t fully go back to being as carefree as you were Sad

altiara · 22/01/2021 21:32

It’s your own body that causes cancer by going slightly wrong or not fixing things quite right. That’s why there are so many types of cancer and personal to each person, so it’s not surprising that treatment might work for one person and not another.

Chemo doesn’t just kill the cancer cells, it kills good cells too. And then even if you kill or cut out the cancer cells, you’ve not addressed the underlying reason so it will generally happen again. Just a race to see if something else including old age will get you first.

FlopMadeMeDoIt · 22/01/2021 21:40

32 and fighting a rare type of cancer, yes it can fuck right off.

2020iscancelled · 22/01/2021 21:43

Lost a parent to it when I was very young and lost another close family member recently to the same type.

I am scared of me or DH being diagnosed with a form and obviously I’m scared of dying young from it.

I think once you lose someone close to cancer, it’s all you can see. It’s everywhere. Suddenly something which was real but removed is there, in your life and it’s everywhere you turn.

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