To ask those with older children - what age did you find hardest?

[annie987]

I was debating this earlier with a friend. We both have similar aged children but completely disagreed on our favourite / least favourite age - she hated terrible twos but liked the teenage years whereas I’m the polar opposite.
This led us to wonder if there is a general consensus out there.
So which age did you find easiest / most difficult?

I found 18m to 2yo the hardest bit. Old enough to be 'naughty' but too young to understand any meaningful form of discipline. All the other toddlers would be playing with things while mine were trying to climb something or escape. I couldn't leave them alone for a moment!

Teens have been a breeze so far in comparison! (Although my eldest is 15 so I have got several years of parenting teens still to go.)

The first few months. Exhausting and dare I say boring. I outsourced it, put them in nursery and went back to work.
Now 18 and 15 and never a moments regret.

0-3 physically exhausting
12-15 - Mentally exhausting

Keeping teens safe, communicating, happy and well adjusted is the most demanding by far. A baby as tiring with the lack of sleep is a walk in the park - at least you know where they are, who they are with and they are unlikely to be developing MH issues and eating disorders, self harm.

I have great teens, easy in comparison but I am feeling very stretched in every way - and I have declining energy due to the menopause and age.

Physically the preschool years were hard. I had 4 under 7 at one point though so was exhausted all the time!

I now have 3 teens and one in his last year at primary, and it is much harder emotionally. Mine are relatively very easy teens, but navigating exams (or lack of them!), friendships, alcohol, parties, driving etc is emotionally challenging. And whoever that you are only as happy as your unhappiest child was a wise person.....

@Aquamarine1029

My two are adults now, and I found the teen years the hardest, but not because of their behaviour, because they were genuinely lovely kids. It was hard because they become so much more independent, and while you need to encourage that, you also need to decide what the limits are. You have to nurture their growing up but you still have to protect them, often against themselves! No matter how sensible your teens are, they can still have some serious lapses in judgement which could have dire consequences.

This! Exactly this.

@Bilgepumper so true. I don't like the tsenage years either. They want more independence, they argue, push boundaries, are argumentative and downright rude and grumpy etc. The 0 to 3 years are hard but at least then you gets smiles, giggles and cuddles and they are pleased to see you-teenagers just see parents as an embarrassment to be tolerated.

There's a lovely time between 7-10 before they just become a tween. Dont like my teenagers much atm. Son is nearly 17 and is improving though.

@AnyFucker

Hardest: 13-17 years by a country mile

Easiest: 0- 3 months and 7-10 years

I totally agree!

Still think the baby toddler years hardest - gruelling

Still in teen years but nothing can beat the no sleep soft play church hall years surely ?!

0-6 months with DC1. I was completely bewildered as we had no help or experience. We survived!

Teenage boy 16-17. It left scars on both of us.
Teenage girl 12-13. Over it.

Mine are adult and early teens now. The hardest was definately between ages 4-6, I've found that mums of just babies and toddlers have unrealistic expectations of older kids and teens in the same way that non parents or parents of babies have of toddlers.

Oh this doesn't inspire hope!

DS is 4 and it's still a bit unrelenting. I found 1-2.5 the hardest but I was in the grips of severe MH so maybe why. DS is stubborn and wilful and not very attentive at the best of times so god knows what we're in for when he's a teen. I love his company though at the moment, funny, chatty and loving.

Hardest 3-5 years.

Easiest 7-12 (eldest is 12)

Favourite 1.5ish - 3

Baby years hard as never slept. My child is approaching 16, we have a fantastic relationship, it’s great to see the values she is forming and watch her becoming a young lady. We do still have our moments, A little bumpy at 13-14 but nothing major

The first time I was a parent I was young and alone as DS1 was from a ONS basically - he had sleep apnoea so hia alarm mat went off constantly. DS2 and DD I was married to an abuser, DS2 didn't sleep and I had very bad PND. I do remember babyhood being hard. But it really was not as hard as teenage years. By a long way.

We are hurtling toward the teen years with DSS... *Nervous laugh 😅

Haha @MsTSwift soo true on the no sleep church soft play areas