To think whispering in the workplace is not good..

[JustAMessOhYes]

Does anyone else work in a workplace where there is a lot of whispering? Often by middle/lower management.

I do, and it's really getting to me.

I don't know if I am unreasonable to feel like this, and it's a sign my mental health is slipping, or if it's a legitimately distressing thing.

People whisper in the office so they don't disturb their colleagues, and to preserve some semblance of confidentiality.

I think the fact that this is distressing you is definitely a sign that you need to check in on your mental health.

I genuinely don't understand what you find so distressing?
Sometimes people want to tell one person something without everyone else knowing, not that big of a deal.
If you are always jumping to the assumption that they are whispering about you that might just be your own issue.

I know what you mean, OP. It’s rude too.

We're all working from home now, but this used to happen alot.

People used to huddle round and whisper. I couldn't have give a shit what they were talking about, but the spss, spss,spss whispering noise used to piss me off no end.

It was extremely rude.

I plucked up the courage to say 'if you have something private to discuss, can you please go into the kitchen as it's really distracting and a bit rude'

As I was leaving today someone was whispering about me. That I did not imagine. It could be my mental health making it feel worse, but it's not entirely unfounded on reality.

Someone I worked beside would whisper when she was talking about people outside of work, no-one knew who the hell they were but she would still whisper and it made me feel guilty as if she was talking about our colleagues. And it wasn't even juicy stuff either, just about them getting shopping delivered or some such crap

I’m in management and had a particularly unruly team who had began whispering amongst themselves and being generally unkind about people. I’m pretty confident but it really got to me (and others) and made me begin feeling quite paranoid. This made me think about my own behaviour and I realised I too often whispered, although it was almost always work related I realised I could be making others feel insecure also.

I’ve since stopped doing it and any conversation that I would have normally whispered about I take off department. I also began actively challenging the whisperers and have made my views on it clear that I would rather they popped into a side room for 5 mins if they wanted to chat about something they felt they couldn’t out in the open. None of them ever took up the offer which did reinforce that the conversations clearly weren’t appropriate to be having.

I would rather people went into a side room if they wanted a private conversation.

I worked in a team and there was one miserable person who loved nothing more than to whisper and bitch about people. She would literally talk about anyone and would always try to get others to join in with the bitching. She was so rude she couldn't even see how bad she was. Other members of staff would avoid going near her because they didn't want to be dragged into the constant and unnecessary bitching. We came to the conclusion that she was just a very miserable and jealous person who had nothing better to do. It's not exactly helpful but the best thing I did was keep my distance. It's horrible and it does make you feel paranoid!

It's not appropriate, it's rude and shouldn't happen in the office. If you need a private conversation, take it into a separate room.

@Ohalrightthen

People whisper in the office so they don't disturb their colleagues, and to preserve some semblance of confidentiality.

I think the fact that this is distressing you is definitely a sign that you need to check in on your mental health.

This. Why would you assume it was about you?

Whispering is an annoying sound in general. I have to turn the radio/tv off when an advert comes on with whispering.

It’s not usually about not disturbing people at work either, as the same people never have any trouble speaking at a sensible volume when its not about something “secret”. The correct way to speak to someone in confidence would be to take them into a side room or somewhere else out of earshot. It’s more of a distraction having two people going pshpshpsh in front of you, especially when they then end the whispered convo with something “work related” at full volume (accompanied with a knowing smirk) to make it look like they were talking about work when you know full well they were slagging someone off!

Whispering in corners happens an awful lot in my workplace. They are usually being judgemental
and gossiping about others. Tiresome.

@MilkMoon

You obviously didn't read the second part of Ops Post then did you .!
As Op mentioned then she overheard whispering amongst her colleagues and her name mentioned too.

Before you comment best to check first eh.!

It would be annoying as hell if someone whispered something about myself too
"I get you Op"

It would piss me right off too

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@MilkMoon

You obviously didn't read the second part of Ops Post then did you .!
As Op mentioned then she overheard whispering amongst her colleagues and her name mentioned too.

Before you comment best to check first eh.!

It would be annoying as hell if someone whispered something about myself too
"I get you Op"

It would piss me right off too[/quote]
My reading skills are fine, thanks. Nowhere does the OP say her name was mentioned by the whisperers. She says she believed colleagues were whispering about her, but as she also says that being hyper-aware of workplace whispering could be a sign of her mental health slipping, perhaps best not to invent scenarios which deepen what is perhaps coming from her own distorted perception, eh?

Anyone whispering to someone in a room where there are others present is rude, in my opinion. YANBU.

No, I hate it. I refuse to speak about anyone at work. If someone starts slagging someone off I just say, "Oh, I think she's really nice." They shut up then

Call 'em on it - every time!

No, it’s rude. YANBU

@MilkMoon

My reading skills are fine, thanks. Nowhere does the OP say her name was mentioned by the whisperers. She says she believed colleagues were whispering about her, but as she also says that being hyper-aware of workplace whispering could be a sign of her mental health slipping, perhaps best not to invent scenarios which deepen what is perhaps coming from her own distorted perception, eh?

You didn't quite pick up what I said correctly. In my initial post I said there was whispering, and I found it distressing. I did not say in that post that my colleagues were whispering about me. In my second post I said that I had actually heard someone whispering about me as I left, and so it wasn't entirely my imagination.

Urgh. Yes, rude and unnecessary. And can be very disruptive and unsettling. If you need a confidential work conversation go somewhere else to do it. Otherwise stop acting like a bunch of gossiping teenagers.

There were a couple of girls who would do it all the time, and it wasn't a being quiet thing - happy to talk normally when not gossiping about someone. They gave up when a few of us started pulling them up on it and loudly asking who they were talking about every time they did it.

[quote JustAMessOhYes]@MilkMoon

My reading skills are fine, thanks. Nowhere does the OP say her name was mentioned by the whisperers. She says she believed colleagues were whispering about her, but as she also says that being hyper-aware of workplace whispering could be a sign of her mental health slipping, perhaps best not to invent scenarios which deepen what is perhaps coming from her own distorted perception, eh?

You didn't quite pick up what I said correctly. In my initial post I said there was whispering, and I found it distressing. I did not say in that post that my colleagues were whispering about me. In my second post I said that I had actually heard someone whispering about me as I left, and so it wasn't entirely my imagination.[/quote]
I understood you, OP, but you didn’t say why you thought your colleagues were whispering about you — did they actually use your name?

It's awful OP. It used to happen all the time at my work between certain people, and was blatantly about other members of staff (body language and actions gave it away). It bred the most awful toxic environment for a while, but thankfully the main offenders have left now.

If genuine work related confidential conversations need to go on then we have a number of spaces to have them. If people want a conversation not to be overheard by the whole office they'll use low voices but not stop whenever anyone else comes close or constantly look over their shoulder like the whisperers.

I understood you, OP, but you didn’t say why you thought your colleagues were whispering about you — did they actually use your name?

@MilkMoon

Yes.

Why are you in an office OP in any case at present? Shouldn't you be wfh?

In normal times I agree whispering is not good.