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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist on a hysterectomy in my late 20's?

67 replies

Bumarse · 09/01/2021 13:31

I have birthed three children and I'm %100 certain that I don't want any more. I almost lost my life during childbirth last time.

After each pregnancy my hormones have become more out of whack. I feel like crap during ovulation and then have awful PMS in the run up to my period so badly that I'm fairly sure it's actually PMDD im dealing with. It is debilitating and affecting my productivity and ability to function well as a parent.

I have hormonal adult acne that isn't responding to treatment which is minor in the grand scheme of things but just adds to matters.

I also have a bladder prolapse and noted uterine descent that is only going to get worse.

Synthetic hormones don't agree with me so I can't go back on the pill, injection or implant as they turn me loopy. I can't try the coil because of my prolapse.

I'm so sick of hormones controlling my life I would welcome the menopause with open arms.

WIBU to plead my case to my GP and insist I want a hysterectomy or will they laugh me out of the surgery due to my age?

OP posts:
Vieve1325 · 09/01/2021 13:34

I don’t think anyone is unreasonable to desire or seek a procedure which would improve their quality of lifestyle - even an invasive one.

Original poster
Bumarse · 09/01/2021 13:37

Thank you Viev.

My DM had a total hysterectomy in her 40's due to prolapse alone but she thinks it'll be difficult for me to be approved due to my age.

I'm worried they won't take me seriously so have been reluctant to broach the matter.

OP posts:
ChrissyPlummer · 09/01/2021 13:37

Not unreasonable to ask but I know of 2 people who wanted one and their GP said they wouldn’t consider it until they were 35. This was a few years ago so guidelines may have changed.

Love51 · 09/01/2021 13:37

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

SomewhatBored · 09/01/2021 13:39

Sorry to hear this, OP - sounds awful Sad. My hysterectomy transformed my life, but I was in my early 40s. They are likely to be concerned about the long term impact on your hormones. Even if you keep your ovaries, it's common for them to fail once your womb has been removed. That leaves you at risk of conditions caused by lack of oestrogen - e.g. osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy. The younger you are, the greater the risk. You say synthetic hormones don't agree with you - but HRT is usually recommended if you have a premature menopause.

I'm not trying to put you off, just saying that these are things you need to think about and are objections your GP may raise, so consider how you'd manage these impacts and be prepared to discuss it with your GP.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

956806416ak · 09/01/2021 13:39

I think you absolutely can request this and it's an easy one if you've finished your family. However it won't end your hormonal difficulties, do you realise that?

Orf1abc · 09/01/2021 13:40

It's fine to ask, but completely unreasonable to insist. You can go private if you refuse to try other options for PMDD.

956806416ak · 09/01/2021 13:41

Also, were you to enter an early menopause, there are many horrible side effects to this that leave you at greater risk if various unpleasant conditions associated with being older.

I can't quite see how this is going to achieve what you need.

Lemonpiano · 09/01/2021 13:43

Including oophorectomy?

Lemonpiano · 09/01/2021 13:44

That has some heavy risks before 45.

Swingometer · 09/01/2021 13:44

I think they would be more likely to agree to you being sterilised than a total hysterectomy

WhereDoMyBluebirdsFly · 09/01/2021 13:46

It sounds like this would be the best thing for your health. If the doctor refuses yiur request, ask for them to detail that refusal in your notes. This makes them think a bit more and will provide a paper trail in the future.

There is a 'childfree' sub on Reddit that has a regularly updated list of doctors who will perform sterilisation on people who wish to remain child free. Many doctors refuse unless you're in your late 30s or have children already so people update the reddit list with doctors who are willing to carry out these procedures. I know a hysterectomy is not exactly the same as sterilisation, but that list at least contains doctors who are willing to listen to women's reproductive desires. Maybe you could ask to be referred to one of them?

SomewhatBored · 09/01/2021 13:48

I would add that a hysterectomy won't help your prolapse. Prolapse is a known risk of hysterectomy and you have to do pelvic floor exercises afterwards to avoid this. You will need to get your prolapse treated as a separate issue.

Floralnomad · 09/01/2021 13:51

You can ask , I highly doubt you will find anyone to agree to do it unless you want to pay .

GarlicSoup · 09/01/2021 13:53

@956806416ak

I think you absolutely can request this and it's an easy one if you've finished your family. However it won't end your hormonal difficulties, do you realise that?
If you call major surgery an ‘easy one’ Hmm
Branleuse · 09/01/2021 13:54

You dont solve hormone imbalances by removing your uterus. Your hormone imbalances could well be caused by too little of certain hormones, and hysterectomy would only make that worse

Original poster
Bumarse · 09/01/2021 13:54

Thank you for the replies

I was under the impression that a hysterectomy would put an end to the hormonal fluctuations that happen each month? If I'm wrong then I will need to do alot more research.

I'm aware that a hysterectomy won't do anything for my bladder prolapse, but it would help in respect to my uterus that has notably dropped down and will continue to.

OP posts:
PoppinShoppin · 09/01/2021 13:55

I think if people can change their sex at 18 or even younger then THIS should not even be debated. I'd be interested in hearing how's this is dealt with....

Original poster
Bumarse · 09/01/2021 13:56

I have asked my GP to refer me to a hormone clinic/specialist but her answer is to try and persuade me to go back on synthetic birth control despite having tried that multiple times and finding that they only make things worse Sad

OP posts:
OverTheRubicon · 09/01/2021 13:56

Hysterectomy is not the same as sterilisation. It also won't take away the effects of hormones and PMS as they're produced by the pituitary not the womb - however it might hasten the onset of menopause which has its own hormonal issues, and will likely leave you requiring ongoing hormone treatment or otherwise at significantly increased risk of things like severe osteoporosis.

Prolapse maybe but again there are alternative surgeries available.

Doesn't mean a definite no, and they won't laugh at you, but also.know that your womb isn't necessarily a solution to problems.

Original poster
Bumarse · 09/01/2021 14:00

It looks like I have been pretty naive!

If a hysterectomy won't improve my life WRT hormones then can anybody tell me what will? Other than BC.

I don't think I can live like this for another year let alone 20. Pre children I had no idea hormones could actually make you feel ill.

I will find the money to go private if needs be.

OP posts:
SomewhatBored · 09/01/2021 14:01

I was under the impression that a hysterectomy would put an end to the hormonal fluctuations that happen each month? If I'm wrong then I will need to do alot more research.

Your hormonal fluctuations are caused by your ovaries, not your womb. A hysterectomy removes your womb. You would need an oophorectomy - ovary removal - to 'get rid' of your hormones.

As I mentioned upthread, removing the womb often fast-tracks ovarian failure, but in the immediate term your ovaries will go on doing what they normally do - the eggs just go out into your body rather than into your womb - and you will still have a monthly ovulation cycle, just no periods.

If your ovaries are removed or fail, then your hormonal cycle will stop and the amount of oestrogen/testosterone in your body will drastically fall, bringing on all the classic menopause symptoms - hot flushes, bone thinning, vaginal dryness etc.

So if you had your ovaries removed, you might just end up swapping one set of hormone-related problems for another.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 09/01/2021 14:08

It's worth looking into the effects of sterilisation on hormones. All I can tell you is that after I was sterilised (after 4 children), my periods shortened in length and premenstrual symptoms lightened.

SonjaMorgan · 09/01/2021 14:18

I have PCOS and endo so I get where you are coming from. I think you need to talk to a specialist so you are aware of all of your options and the side effects and ramifications of each. I wish a hysterectomy would solve all of my issues but after looking into it I found that wasn't the case.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/01/2021 14:19

I don’t think they’d do it on the grounds of you going straight into menopause. You could request sterilisation to prevent conception or there’s the cap.

The hormonal acne should be ref to dermatology, I had hormonal acne unresponsive to gp treatments but dermatology prescribed roaccutane and that stopped it.

You need a different gp, there’s no point repeating treatments that have failed previously.