Why do men have to get thanks?

grassisjeweled · 09/01/2021 01:02

Totally agree.

DH needs an award for cooking dinner twice a year. And obviously, it's the greatest dinner anyone made, ever!

Wearywithteens · 09/01/2021 01:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Sinful8 · 09/01/2021 01:05

@Ele38

I don't know if I am being insensitive I am prepared if you think I am, but I am a mum to 4 kids ranging from 14 yes to 6 months. 4 days ago I got a really bad back pain radiating down leg like pulled muscle or sciatica I ain't kidding I'm in a lot of pain so changing babies nappy or putting her to bed or basically picking her up is agony, so partner has had to take a few days off work and every time he changes or bathes her he expects a thank you and to be honest I am really f**d off he is their dad. I don't get a thank you when I am helping homeschool 3 kids plus look after baby nor do I expect one I am their mum and I do it gladly but am I being unreasonable to tell him to sod off and he ain't getting thanks off me for changing his babies nappy.

Tell him your going Japanese, all titles, platitudes, please/thank you is gone between you as your close enough you don't need to express that stuff any more.

(I know ots not actually japanese)

Original poster

Ele38 · 09/01/2021 01:07

He doesn't say he wants a thank you, he says I have changed her and if I say nothing he says " well ain't u gonna say thanks" and I could easily punch him right in the face,every time I change her I don't text him in work expecting thanks, I hate men

OP posts:

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 09/01/2021 01:08

Wow that would massively piss me off. Tell him he's not helping you, he's doing HIS share. You're sick FFS (oh god that sounds painful BTW you poor thing) why is he making it about him?

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 09/01/2021 01:08

When I read thread like this it makes me wonder why people sympathise when I say I'm single

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 09/01/2021 01:10

You should start texting him at work asking for a thanks.

Just did the washing up, you’re welcome

Changed baby’s nappy for you.

Etc

He might get the message.

CorianderBee · 09/01/2021 01:21

'Aren't you gonna say thanks?'

'I appreciate you taking the time off work while I'm injured but I'm not going to thank you for being a parent to your own child every time you do a normal task.

'You don't thank me for everything I do for the kids every time.'

Worst · 09/01/2021 01:27

Does he also refer to looking after his own children as “baby sitting”?

I feel bad for you OP, both because of the husband, and the sciatica.

I agree with PP - once you are better, start texting him at work with your daily accomplishments asking for thanks.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/01/2021 01:31

Don't you ever say "why would I thank you?"

SleepingStandingUp · 09/01/2021 01:34

@Ele38

He doesn't say he wants a thank you, he says I have changed her and if I say nothing he says " well ain't u gonna say thanks" and I could easily punch him right in the face,every time I change her I don't text him in work expecting thanks, I hate men

Are you calling him or on it or seething silently?

Every time he asks for thanks, ask of he really needs thanks every time he does what Dad's do? And of so where's your thanks for doing what a Mom does?

Dogscanteatonions · 09/01/2021 06:17

I'd say the same thing right back to him.

Lemonpiano · 09/01/2021 06:21

You realise this is specifically about your partner being a dickhead, not something all men do and you have to tolerate?

pictish · 09/01/2021 07:20

I agree this isn’t a ‘man thing’...there do seem to be those who want a chocolate medal for completing a workaday task, like your husband...but plenty of men don’t carry on in such a stupid way.

Is he selfish and full of himself in other ways too?

inquietant · 09/01/2021 07:24

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

When I read thread like this it makes me wonder why people sympathise when I say I'm single

doctorhamster · 09/01/2021 07:24

"Oh I didn't realise we were thanking each other for this stuff. When you're back at work should I text you every time I change a nappy, or would you prefer an email?"

LemonDrizzles · 09/01/2021 07:26

"Thank you for fulfilling some basic 101 parenting duties?"

Wishing14 · 09/01/2021 07:27

Just say, “Well done, was it very difficult?”

LemonDrizzles · 09/01/2021 07:27

To add "can't wait to see how you thank me when I get back to doing this on the regular" and hold him to that.

prawncocktailpringles · 09/01/2021 07:28

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

When I read thread like this it makes me wonder why people sympathise when I say I'm single

This

SparklingLime · 09/01/2021 07:28

Does he normally do absolutely zero care for his baby? Otherwise surely this would have cone up before? What a useless dick.

MattWanksock · 09/01/2021 07:39

I think it's because he took days off work to help you. Regardless that the help is looking after his family. He has made the effort to inform his boss at late notice he won't be there. That is a caring thing to do.

Honestly, if i did that for my male partner as a female I'd expect a thank you.

MattWanksock · 09/01/2021 07:40

Just one thank you though... not one for each nappy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 09/01/2021 07:41

@MattWanksock what you'd want constant thanks for everything you did?he's not her mate, doing that is not a favour it's what he SHOULD do.

Let's not get in the habit of thanking men for simply not being shit. Let's not have such low standards like that.

pictish · 09/01/2021 07:43

Yes, it’s appropriate to thank him for taking time off to prioritise his family...basic courtesy to recognise a good thing.

You don’t have to thank him every time he completes a task.