how is homeschooling going, just had a cry and abandoned it

[coffeelover3]

so ds is in year 7 and every day they start at 9am and work until 3pm, with a teams meeting where work is set, and then they have to photograph it and upload it. it's just getting me down - there's been lots of tears - it's a huge amount of work, and I'm wfh as well - have done very little this week, and what I've done has been in the evenings or after 3 when 'school' is over. I hate having to nag him to do it. Plus its quite complicated, the teachers all seem to use teams differently - some set up a meeting and have folders for the school work - others put links to the work in the chat and you have to email them the work, others use sharepoint, others use 'go for schools' to put the work onto. Plus they are setting homework. I cant bring myself to "make" him do the homework atm, but I suppose we will have to tackle it over the weekend. I'm going to be catching up on emails and work stuff over the weekend too. I feel like I'm constantly working, cooking, printing stuff out, helping ds - he is not very independent, I'm trying to work on that, but he needs me to sit with him and help explain what he has to do. I'm so worn out, and it's only a week in. How am I going to sustain it. I know millions of us are in the same boat, just looking for others and how they're managing. I feel so mean making him sit at the table for 6 hours a day - tbh we haven't done everything. Yesterday he was told to make 9 posters for music - 9!!!!! In the end I roped in dd, and we did 3 each and uploaded them. It's unrealistic...? And so boring - every lesson is 'watch this video then do the work sheets'. HOw are others coping, feel like I@m cracking up. And work due to get busy next week. something has to 'give'.

You need to encourage him engaging with his teachers for help rather than you.
That is what they are there for.

Do you stick to a school time routine?
My dd's are yr8&9.
They get up at 8, breakfast and 'dress'
Ready to start school at 8:30/45.
They set times on their phones for lessons etc.

Their school put a lot of emphasis on the children utilising the teachers, they can contact them via the homework app or school email outside of lessons and the teachers answer.

This week has been exhausting. The school have given the children far too much work to try and get through. There's no way they would do this much work in a normal school day. I am grateful that the teachers are providing work this time but I feel so much pressure being monitored all the time. Snotty emails if we haven't uploaded work in time. I could really do without it!

As an ex teacher it’s hilarious to me that anyone would think that children in school are learning from 9-3 everyday! There is SO much wasted time in an average classroom.
With the best will in the world, you have to manage your classroom as well as enable direct learning. Especially in primary.

Giving out/collecting in books, managing behaviour, stopping to manage the child who’s got lost on the way to the toilet, the child who needs a tissue, the lock that’s broken on the laptop trolley, the internet that’s frozen, the the child who just vomited on the rug, washing hands and prayers before lunch, giving out milk/fruit, the child with the broken pencil.... you get the idea.

That’s even before you factor in assemblies, fire drills, breaks, lunch and just generally moving about.

And as a now home educator of 3 young dc myself, I can also attest to the fact that at home a child can easily learn the equivalent of an hour’s school lesson in 20-30 minutes. If not less.

To the OP I say, no you’re not being unreasonable. It’s a HUGE expectation of parents, especially those who also have to work.

I meant to add I home educate all the time (not just during covid).

Schools have been directed to provide 3-5 hours of lessons daily. I really don't care if parents/children can't do it all - the children will be fine academically in the long term - and won't give anyone a hard time. It's my job to provide the work though.

I should add, many children are doing all the tasks and reporting they enjoy them.

As an ex teacher it’s hilarious to me that anyone would think that children in school are learning from 9-3 everyday! There is SO much wasted time in an average classroom.

This!

Your child is doing incredibly well with 90 minutes 1 to 1. Probably better than at school in many cases. Even 20 minutes 1 to 1 for younger children.

I'm really struggling. I've got 2 in secondary who are getting on with their lessons which are mostly online. Then I've got 3 in primary, years 5, 3 and 2. The year 5 is able but has a severe case of can't be arsed so needs loads of nagging. Younger 2, 1 has moderate learning difficulties and the other has autism. All the work set goes completely over year 3 child's head. Year 2 child will draw pictures but refuses to do anything else. We've just had a letter from the head saying twice weekly phone calls and zoom calls with the children are compulsory and any non compliance will be treated as a safeguarding issue and we will have home visits. I just feel like a massive failure.

Dear OP, I feel for you. I am fortunate, I have a y10 DD who is almost completely independent other then the odd question or IT glitch that needs sorting. One of the things that really makes it easier for her to work effectively is the school uses one platform (MS Teams) that all teachers use and they use it in the same way. There are 5 timetabled lessons each day (except for PE) and each teacher does at least a live intro to the lesson and are available throughout the lesson. Some teachers might do a whole live lesson, others do an introduction and then set work for DD to do independently. It makes it so much easier.

I think your school really needs to get better organised with their online offer as they are making it much more difficult for their pupils and families.

Yeah, it’s pretty shit.

Will start off by saying that I am a teacher albeit a college tutor so hugely different to primary level. Also always bound to be different when it’s your own kids and you’re not actually at work, you’re in your own home.

I’m actually currently on mat leave with my 5 month old and I also have a 2 year old. My primary aged DC are 8, 9 and 10. My DH is WFH in his office so we have to somehow be mindful of the noise we make. During the first lockdown the weather was warm and lovely so I utilised the garden a lot, now it’s freezing and usually wet so not such a pleasant idea. I also have the baby this time, he was in utero last time so I didn’t have to worry about feeding him constantly .

My 8 and 10 year old just get on with things for the most part. I print out their worksheets, hand them their laptops and off they go. 9 year old struggles greatly with maths and I mean, she screams and shouts and throws her book across the room whenever we try to sit and do maths. I believe she has dyscalculia, I’ve hired a maths tutor so she has a couple of zoom sessions a week to help.

It’s completely exhausting tbh, I’m trying to help organise all three of them and also juggle my toddler and baby. DH and I have been bickering, I hate him right now because he just gets to sit tucked away in a room drinking coffee all day and doesn’t really deal with anything. I’m also trying to keep on top of the housework which is... sliding.

It feels like the longest week ever and I’m on my knees.

OP, contact school and ask what their expectation is around how many live lessons must be attended and assessments submitted.
Also flag the varied methods - they need consistency.

I've checked with our school today and they said attend 4/5 live and attempt most assessments - it's to show they are actively engaging but it also needs to fit with home life and around family.

Sitting at a computer for 6 hours isn't good for children either so focus on core subjects.

Look at his and your timetable - spread it out, put in time for supporting him, and then time for you. He can wait an hour if need be and the teachers will have to wait for work to be submitted. He needs to be independent and come to you at set times for support rather than you standing over him to structure it - he can ask the teacher online during the lesson for help, google and Alexa also work.

Priority 1 - everyone is alive, fed, and watered at the end of the day.
Priority 2 - everyone is warm, emotionally supported and secure
Priority 3 - read, write, count
Priority 4 - subjects of interest
Priority 5 - everything else.

P1 and 2 are a win at the end of every day and you cannot get to 5 without 1-4 being completed, focus on them first.

Year 7 is hard, they are adjusting to secondary then bam they get hit with lockdown and conscientious children get overwhelmed by the volume of work they get set.

In March DD1 (very much a 'top of the class' type girl) was in Y7 and we had tears every day during homeschooling due to her pushing herself so hard, she did produce some excellent work but was spending hours and hours on it, long term it has probably been beneficial to do more independent work but at the time it was very hard. She's that bit older this time and more relaxed after realising some kids did nothing last time and so far has chosen to prioritise the academic subjects so she doesn't get overwhelmed by the art projects that she loves doing but suck up time.

Now DD2 is Y7 and after finding Lockdown 1 very easy she too is struggling with the volume of lockdown work in Y7. They've been doing project style work this week but are moving to Teams lessons next week which should be easier.

Oh, and we're not encouraging 'homework' at all, the schoolwork is taking so much time. I have an 8yo as well and he needs a lot more input. DH and I are both critical workers but can WFH so school refused to take DS, next week we're going back to working shifts round each other so we can homeschool and work but it is exhausting doing an 7 hour work day then having to spend the afternoon teaching a fed up child (or vice versa). And we've just had to buy a third home computer so all the DC can work at the same time (obviously we are very lucky that we can afford to do this).

I'm a primary school supply teacher and am therefore not working at the moment so I suppose I am lucky to be able to support my own children with their home learning.

It hasn't been easy though, mainly because home is a place to chill out and relax and I'm their mum, not their teacher, but it's all been flipped on its head now. This week we have had tears, tantrums, work refusal etc but we have managed to do the majority of it.

My children's school are using Google Classroom as their online learning platform. Downloading and editing the sheets ready to upload has been a pain in the arse and because of that they need support where they would be fine at school using a pen and paper.

From next week they're doing live Google Meets lessons but, although we have two devices, we will probably struggle with the broadband speed if they're to do them at the same time.

I can't wait until they're back in school!

But has anyone actually been ‘told off’ by school, or genuinely expects to be for not doing every bit of work set? I’d be surprised.

In the first lockdown, I complained bitterly at the almost complete absence of any work for me (primary) DC. Many others did too, and rightly so. There was an enormous gulf between the teachers that put in the time and those that were, frankly, taking the piss.
(I should say that obviously my knowledge is anecdotal so no idea what ratio the diligent:skiving teachers were, maybe I was just unlucky)

Anyway, public perception was certainly that teachers ought all to be providing high quality work and so a greater emphasis appears to be on providing more tailored work now.

So great, loads of work will apparently be set this time around. I wfh so some days it will be hard to support and supervise and it won’t all get done. So what? At least the option is there.

Better too much so the fortunate few SAHPs with keen and biddable children always have something to do and the rest of us have a choice. Like many, I’m not great at planning a lesson but I reckon I can manage to prioritise which lessons I feel my DC can get done in our available time.

I do feel schools can’t win. There is a vast range of home circumstances for them to cater for. If the work is there, just do your best. If you can barely do any, well, you can’t. Absolutely no point beating yourself up about it.

@elliejjtiny

I'm really struggling. I've got 2 in secondary who are getting on with their lessons which are mostly online. Then I've got 3 in primary, years 5, 3 and 2. The year 5 is able but has a severe case of can't be arsed so needs loads of nagging. Younger 2, 1 has moderate learning difficulties and the other has autism. All the work set goes completely over year 3 child's head. Year 2 child will draw pictures but refuses to do anything else. We've just had a letter from the head saying twice weekly phone calls and zoom calls with the children are compulsory and any non compliance will be treated as a safeguarding issue and we will have home visits. I just feel like a massive failure.

I would opt for the non compliance. Just say it’s not possible, you need more support from the school to make any of this doable, what are they going to do to support you.

I can’t imagine any welfare officers carrying out home visits during an airborne virus pandemic, just because you didn’t log on to zoom last Tuesday its an empty threat, ignore it. Any official visits from anyone would only be for urgent serious safeguarding concerns.

Assuming he isn't SEN I would explain to him that between 9 and 3 he is at school and you are at work. He has to get on with it because you need to work and if he doesn't get on with it he will be in trouble with school. Just stop Molly coddling him! He doesn't have anyone sitting telling him what to do all day at school does he?

Tell him if he doesn't get on with his school work you will give him a list of things to do around the house instead.

In Y7 your ds should be able to work more or less independently on most of it, with just light supervision from yourself. Tell him to stick to the timetable and not to worry too much about finishing everything - if there is too much (this is common) feed back to the school.

I have a year 8 and a year 9. They are on teams all day having their full normal timetable and supervised lessons. They are both at private schools. I leave them to it as an WFH full time and don’t have a partner. Am hoping all ok but reading this worries me.

My DD is Y4. Struggling with it while working from home.
Between issues accessing Teams on the laptop so I can only get it on my phone and her asking for help and not having much confidence I'm stressed big time.
I'm feeling thick too as sometime don't understand it myself and how to explain it to her. Got quite tearful myself yesterday thinking I can't do this because I'm too stupid. There was a word in her English I'd never heard of before! A maths problem I had to Google
This is while working 8 hours a day myself
I'm not sure how long either of us can take it

4 hours of zoom classroom a day here. Thank heavens for that!

@Porcupineintherough

In Y7 your ds should be able to work more or less independently on most of it, with just light supervision from yourself. Tell him to stick to the timetable and not to worry too much about finishing everything - if there is too much (this is common) feed back to the school.

I think this is one of the things I struggle with, TBH. Because of DS's dyslexia, "appropriate" amounts of work always are going to feel like "too much" so I'm never sure when to raise it with the school and when to just soldier on, because I'm very aware that sadly, to achieve the same results as his peers, he does just have to work 50% harder than them .

So I'm finding it really hard to know how best to help him handle the workload.

Schools are getting pressure from the Government to provide 3 hours of learning a day to KS1 and 4 hours to KS2. Not sure about Yrs 7 and up. We are having to do that.
But if parents choose not to complete it for whatever reason (and there are some very understandable reasons and others not so much), that's kind of up to them really.

**We've just had a letter from the head saying twice weekly phone calls and zoom calls with the children are compulsory and any non compliance will be treated as a safeguarding issue and we will have home visits. I just feel like a massive failure.

There’s absolutely no way the head has the authority to do this. A safe guarding issue for not attending zoom calls, or doing phone calls? I don’t believe this is legal, for your head teacher to do a home visit!
Or, do two things , let the school do their home visit and inconveniences themselves.
Or send them to school. Let them educate them.
I’d also put an official complaint against your head teacher right now.

And how can they do home visits during a pandemic??...Tell the head to get stuffed and see his union rep about the complaint your putting in against them.