Had my autism assessment this morning

[CardoMondo]

Sorry not really AIBU but I had my autism assessment this morning. I started a thread on here about it a few days ago as I was nervous and my mum was being unsupportive. It dragged up a lot of dirt. Feeling a bit weird about it all. Anyone else been through it as an adult?

Yes, both my husband and I are autistic and had our assessments in our 40s. Long term it really helped us but we both felt as you described initially. it feels a bit like someone has dissected every struggle/ unusual aspect of your personality in great detail. I felt emotionally battered and down on myself for a good week or so afterwards. Now, almost 3 years on, I would advise anyone to do it and believe it is one of the best things that ever happened to me. It has helped me understand myself more and consider my needs and advocate for myself effectively. I feel more confident and self accepting than ever before.
Be kind to yourself. Things will improve. I found I didn’t expect the process to be as gruelling as it was and underestimated any emotional impact as I wanted to go for the assessment and beforehand only saw it as a positive.... which it is, but also incredibly hard at first

Yes feeling to feeling weird about it. I still feel weird about it 3 years later. It's a weird situation to be in. Be kind to yourself now, and don't expect too much of yourself as you recover from what would have been quite an ordeal. It's ok to feel overwhelmed. You will be ok in a bit.

Diagnosed aged 28. Didn't enjoy the process, but the relief when it was over and I had the diagnosis was worth it.

Diagnosed in November at age 50. Yeah, it did feel weird, having to essentially rewrite the narrative to my life. It's been a massive positive for me, especially with work and I'm coping with life far better now.

Diagnosed at 29, everything made perfect sense, and it explained a lot regarding my childhood, my struggles then and now, why people always question they way I do things.
Both my children are also on the spectrum and dh has ADHD so we are all quite a handful!

I was diagnosed at 29, 8 years ago.

I still struggle but it was worth it.

Hopefully you won’t have to wait long for your report, it will be an interesting read and may be quite emotional for you, I did cry reading my own report but it just explained so much and brought a huge sense of relief to me.

I had a similar experience of being diagnosed with ADHD recently. It's a relief and a burden snd a joy at the same time. I'm waiting to hear back about my initial application for an ASD assessment, not sure whether to hope for them to assess me or not!

I don't know anyone who has been for an assessment and NOT been diagnosed

I was diagnosed in my 30s. I was exhausted after the assessment. I cried with relief when I was finally diagnosed because it finally made sense, why I am how I am. It’s taken years to fully process and accept my diagnosis. I’m really glad I went though with it though.

Thank you for the replies. Luckily DH came gone from work just as they were wrapping up so asked to speak to him. They asked me what I’m like to have a conversation with (I was ear-wigging!) and he told them I try and engage but conversations always veer towards what I want to talk about and then I find it hard to stop rattling on. He told them the first thing I do in a morning is ask him for the plans for the day, like I need to make an itinerary and he feels he has to be careful not to say anything that might not happen as I take it all as written in stone and when the plan changes it creates upset and anxiety for me. I never realised he was being so careful around me.
He told them he finds my obsessions straining as I show real talent in art and writing, get 3/4 of the way through something and then drop it because suddenly I’ve become obsessed with something else. I think what DH told them helped more than what I told them.

Not me, BIL was diagnosed with ADD in his early 40’s. When DH told me it made perfect sense regarding DH’s behaviour and attitude. Apparently his psychiatrist said that his mother (late MIL) had ADD or autism. Step son was diagnosed with dyspraxia at age 19, and one our DC has issues that to me are clearly ADD because it’s exactly like MIL, BIL, DH but she does well academically and socially so I didn’t see the point of kind of labelling her while she was at school.

While I understand and am patient with people who have neurological issues, DH actually said “there’s not point talking to our GP, because what can they do at my age?”

That was the point that my patience with him stopped.

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago. Despite already self identifying as autistic for a few years, it was still a weird feeling and i felt kind of sad for my younger self. Im fine with it now, but its given me a new respecr for my children too and how we do things and how i support them and discuss them

@SusieBugandMe if they were diagnosed then they met the criteria, not everyone gets a diagnosis though.
There are so many adults and children who don’t meet the criteria and don’t get diagnosed but that doesn’t mean that some of them aren’t on the spectrum, autism is very difficult to diagnose, especially in women as they use the same criteria for men and unfortunately that leaves many undiagnosed and living without any help or support.

I don't know anyone who has been for an assessment and NOT been diagnosed

Really? My son has been on the waiting list for over 2 years now and I am starting to wonder if he does actually have autism, he seems completely different from 2 years ago (he’s only 8) and has time has gone on I’m “seeing” it less, it does make me wonder about people who have gone for an assessment but been told they don’t have autism, it must happen

I was diagnosed eight years ago, when I was 33. The process took about 12 months and was pretty unpleasant at times, particularly as my mother was initially reluctant to participate.

However, I'm glad I did it and, with hindsight, so is my mother. It's worth remembering that autism - particularly autism in girls - wasn't well understood in the early 80s and my mother was very defensive.

Now that she understands that my 'quirks' are as a result of my neurodivergence, rather than her parenting, she has found a lot of peace with herself.

As a retired member of an assessment team, there really are plenty of people who are told that they don’t fit the criteria for an ASC diagnosis.

Also they do prescreen the waiting list and don't assess everyone so to get as far as an assessment, you've already met a certain threshold.

@AdoraBell, I am sure you did not intentionally mean to be condescending and patronising in using "neurological issues". If you must you could use "neurologically diverse", but the use of "issues" suggests a negative rather than simply a difference.

I read your first thread @CardoMondo so thank you for coming back to say a bit about what it was like.

I'm 61 and waiting to see if my initial screening means I will be offered the full assessment. My DD offered to complete the part that parents are asked to as they said it was ok for her as my parents are not around now. She is Autistic herself and I'm convinced my two DS's are as well.

My DD said the same thing about what I'm like to have a telephone call with, in her answer on the screening form. I had never realised it until she said it; and that I get alot of anxiety about change of any kind. It was upsetting actually, I try really hard to engage in what I see other people do in conversation but it just doesn't come naturally and never has.

I feel anxious about it too. I have got to the point where I need an explanation for my lifelong feeling that I just don't know how to be around people and it was only when I was doing the parent bit of DD's assessment that I realised how similar we are. I am worried that they will ask me what my job is and when I tell them they will say I couldn't possibly be Autistic and do my job (I'm in mental health in a highly specialist role).

Since then I done tons of research online into Autism in girls and women and I have to know if this is me or not because so much of what I've learned makes sense to me.

@PollyGray

I read your first thread *@CardoMondo* so thank you for coming back to say a bit about what it was like.

I'm 61 and waiting to see if my initial screening means I will be offered the full assessment. My DD offered to complete the part that parents are asked to as they said it was ok for her as my parents are not around now. She is Autistic herself and I'm convinced my two DS's are as well.

My DD said the same thing about what I'm like to have a telephone call with, in her answer on the screening form. I had never realised it until she said it; and that I get alot of anxiety about change of any kind. It was upsetting actually, I try really hard to engage in what I see other people do in conversation but it just doesn't come naturally and never has.

I feel anxious about it too. I have got to the point where I need an explanation for my lifelong feeling that I just don't know how to be around people and it was only when I was doing the parent bit of DD's assessment that I realised how similar we are. I am worried that they will ask me what my job is and when I tell them they will say I couldn't possibly be Autistic and do my job (I'm in mental health in a highly specialist role).

Since then I done tons of research online into Autism in girls and women and I have to know if this is me or not because so much of what I've learned makes sense to me.

I’m a nurse, band 5. When they asked me how my “traits” affected my career I said “I can’t firm relationships”. I avoid training as it means socialising. I avoid “new things”. I’m struggling like hell, holding onto my career by a shoe string masking every single day that I’m “normal” when in reality, I’m the complete opposite

I’m a nurse too! Much happier in a calmer environment which is quite routine orientated.

I think I have the same or similar struggles but I have found ways to hide them. All the training I've done has just been an expression of whatever interests me at the time and I immerse myself into it to such a degree I don't attend to anything else.

I hope your diagnosis means you can have some support or adjustments at work or at the very least your Manager is someone who will support you.

Forgot to say, I was a Nurse in my first training, too.

I didn’t mean to be patronising at all, so I apologise if I offended anyone.