What's happened to Free School Meals provision?

[Carpathian2]

I've just had this from my child's school

At DS2s secondary we are expected to buy some text books/books they study in English. Not sure if they have others that school provide. We can ask to use the PP funding for them, but there is a limit to how much we can have per year. One year I used most of his funding for PE kit. Another year it paid for his residential he was desperate to attend.
Its a pain in the arse as they have changed syllabus since DS1 was at that school so we can't even reuse the books I bought him. Such a waste!

bella 6th form might be different and parents would be expected to buy some materials eg paper & some books. Bursary students would get help with that. I honestly don't know of any primary or lower secondary school which expects parents to buy all the books. However I stand corrected if you're having to pay for all exercise & text books.

DD is in the sixth form but we did have to buy textbooks and most stationary even in her GCSE years. I'm not sure if the school contributed but my point is it's not going to be amazing to all parents that schools in some countries expect them to pay as it's certainly not all free here any more.

I remember that when I was at school and felt really sorry for the children having their names called out. DH was one of them and found it very humiliating. That's why I don't like the idea of children potentially having to queue up to collect food during the pandemic. It's not nice for them

It’s a completely different situation with food boxes though. Calling out the names of children along with ‘free school meals’ in front of the class was unnecessary and humiliating... as it was in front of the whole class and made clear to everyone who could afford to pay and who couldn’t.

Everyone collecting a weekly food box will be in the same boat. They all need the food box. Or they wouldn’t be there. Yes there’ll be a member of staff handing them out, just like a member of supermarket staff will see your food vouchers and know what they’re for. Do people feel equally embarrassed going to a food bank or claiming UC?

Paying cash into a parent’s account means they can spend that money on anything. Even the vouchers were abused by some to some extent. Perhaps a food box (that parents need to collect) will weed out who really needs it and who doesn’t? It will be clear from the uncollected boxes who really needed the vouchers for food and who managed fine without. Obviously if a family is isolating or has genuine travel problems they need to contact the school and let them know why they can’t collect.

Yes it might be a hassle to collect it weekly from school; but vouchers are a hassle for some parents too (who live far from the supermarket they can be used at). True your child might not ‘like’ everything in the box but children who are genuinely hungry tend not to be fussy.

Lots of things in life aren’t ‘nice’. Queuing discreetly for a box of free groceries may not be ‘nice’ but some families will be very grateful.

@HikeForward it won’t prove anything. I’ll just not eat my lunch so my daughter can eat hers. I did it for years while their dad was financially abusing us and I’ll do it again to ensure her friends do not see us in the queue for the box. I will do anything to protect her from the bullying I saw at school for being the free school meals kids. Oh and her school is packed with “key worker” so we would be seen.

Do people feel equally embarrassed going to a food bank or claiming UC?

You are, clearly, not in receipt of FSM, UC or have ever gone to a foodbank. Have you ever had to sign on?
I'd say many people feel embarrassed or humiliated about having to claim these things, more than not, but it is subjective.

I'm in receipt of UC and FSM. I keep it to myself-people don't need to know how poor I am. I'm embarrassed to be dependent on the state at middle aged, even though it's down to living in a high cost area, low waged area. But this is how I feel.

I'd, also, find it humiliating to collect a food parcel even though I'd be grateful for the food and would accept it. Again, this is how I would feel. Given my experience in this area, I'd again say more people will for like this than not.

Why would you be "seen" when picking up the box? It's not like they will make the entire school who are in queue outside the front when people are collecting the boxes and anyone who doesn't need to be at school won't just think to turn up outside it randomly to watch people. They have better things to do.

If you are really worried, why don't you ask the school for a timeslot when it isn't lunch/break time so that no-one can accidentally watch you because they will be sitting down in classrooms working?

Unfortunately having spoken to a number of people during the last half term when we were doing free school meals actually a large number would let their children go hungry rather than be embarrassed by going somewhere to pick up. That was direct feedback from parents whose dc had fsm.

That's absolutely disgusting, pride over feeding your kids, pure shit parenting. In these cases the kids dont benefit any more from their parents getting vouchers, because the parents value themselves over their kids.

FSMs are a free lunch per child, why should anyone get more because they're not in school? They're providing enough food for 5 lunches, you're no worse off. You were having to take your kids to school, so going to school to get lunch, you're no worse off.

They can't please everyone all of the time. The food on the list is standard food that most kids eat. Schools can only do so much.

[quote Carpathian2]@steppemum

They get more at the food bank! I'm not being snotty, but I think it's insulting to people who haven't got the skills to provide put those ingredients together to make a lunch. [/quote]
If someone can't make a roll or a jacket potato then they probably shouldn't be in charge of kids on their own.

Everyone collecting a weekly food box will be in the same boat. They all need the food box. Or they wouldn’t be there. Yes there’ll be a member of staff handing them out, just like a member of supermarket staff will see your food vouchers and know what they’re for. Do people feel equally embarrassed going to a food bank or claiming UC?

I'm sure many people do feel embarrassed about going to food banks claiming universal credit too. I'm not blaming the school if this is all they can offer but I think it should be recognised that is far from ideal.

Yes, ridiculous! There is something to be said about where to draw a line. We as a society have a responsibility but only so far.

For all the people saying they could do more with a voucher for the cost of school dinners....

These parcels of food wont cost the school that. school catering companies make money, they are profitable. They also have staff costs etc. They can buy this food at scale and so provide more at lower cost, than individuals can with meal vouchers.

Right now our country is skint. This is the cheapest, most efficient way to directly provide decent meals to children eligible to FSM. It isnt about what parents want. Its about getting food to kids.

And yeah right there are many parents who can't make a cheese sandwich. If my 4 year old can the vast majority of parents can.

I’ll just not eat my lunch so my daughter can eat hers. I did it for years while their dad was financially abusing us and I’ll do it again to ensure her friends do not see us in the queue for the box. I will do anything to protect her from the bullying I saw at school for being the free school meals kids. Oh and her school is packed with “key worker” so we would be seen

Why would the key-worker children in school see the boxes being collected? Surely you ring the bell at the school gate, or go to a discrete location to collect them like the back of the canteen, not in front of the classrooms? And if they did see how would they even know what’s in the boxes or what they are? I think you’re projecting fears from your own childhood onto your daughter.

Remember lots of kids in school are vulnerable children not just keyworker children and many will be on FSM themselves.

Going hungry yourself is foolish when there is no need. You need to be healthy and well nourished to parent and home-school effectively, not irritable because you’re skipping lunch every day. School are providing food for her, why starve yourself due to pride and the fear someone might see you? Lots of parents will be claiming free boxes of groceries, especially with the country in recession and jobs lost, people furloughed, entire industries collapsing. She won’t be singled out, even if someone finds out you collected a food box!

@user1471462428 I’ve read a few of your posts and they are really sad. Are you anxious? Because lots of people are key workers and they may get UC too!! You don’t know people’s circumstances few single parents or larger families support themselves without ANY government help. You can call the school and speak to them.... if you see people you know they are doing the same as YOU!!

[quote LakieLady]@MistleTOEboughski, your reference to "cake and custard" just gave me a vivid flashback to the delicious coconut sponge and custard they used to serve at my primary school!

It was positively Proustian. [/quote]
I see your coconut sponge and raise you gypsy tart. Thank heavens we went to school when school caterers knew what kids wanted! [ grin]

I must say the food is different but it still has that old fashioned school dinner feel to it sometimes.

I’m fine. The playground is rammed with children every time we walk past. They ask us where we are going when we just take a walk they will definitely ask if we are actually go into school. Just trying to point out that it’s not that easy to covertly pick up a massive box as much as the voucher system allows some discretion. And we don’t all spend the money on booze and fags. My daughter absolutely loves veg and I got her loads over Christmas with the voucher.

Honestly your thoughts sound heightened. It’s rammed with children because it is a school. Why would anybody ask you where you are going? I don’t think they will. You will be collecting along with the same people. Lots of people have lost jobs and may have to do the same as you there’s no shame in that.

I had to go pick up a food parcel today mostly we do ok but this week is a struggle as I've had to buy shoes for dds so I thought that will really help out. I received 1x tin of tuna, a loaf of bread, 1x orange, apple, 3x bananas so Brown they can't be eaten, 3x yoghurts,pack of cherry toms, cucumber,3x snack cheese,1 tin of sweetcorn, carton of long life milk 2x potatoes for two dc for a week.I appreciate the help but its not good enough really is it!

@Desperatehousewife35

I had to go pick up a food parcel today mostly we do ok but this week is a struggle as I've had to buy shoes for dds so I thought that will really help out. I received 1x tin of tuna, a loaf of bread, 1x orange, apple, 3x bananas so Brown they can't be eaten, 3x yoghurts,pack of cherry toms, cucumber,3x snack cheese,1 tin of sweetcorn, carton of long life milk 2x potatoes for two dc for a week.I appreciate the help but its not good enough really is it!

It's definitely workable. Just supplement with stuff you already have and cheap meat (ham) and pasta.

Btw, brown bananas are ideal for banana bread.

That's the same as our bag however we had a big tub of natural yoghurt rather than a flavoured one

Our fruit looks very fresh

Well use it all but personally the voucher was a more discrete system

The playground is rammed with children every time we walk past. They ask us where we are going when we just take a walk they will definitely ask if we are actually go into school. Just trying to point out that it’s not that easy to covertly pick up a massive box as much as the voucher system allows some discretion

Why do you need to tell the kids what you’re picking up? Just say you’re helping deliver things to others or helping the teachers move equipment or something if you’re that embarrassed. Or a simple ‘just collecting something’ and a wave will do. Or go when you know it’s not playtime?

Can you not ask a friend or family member to pick it up, I’m sure there must be lots of mums picking up boxes and dropping them at friends so they don’t all have to go?

Honestly I think you’re over-estimating how much kids care about who has free meals and boxes and who doesn’t. There may have been a lot of stigma when you were in school, there’s a lot less nowadays.

Or can you leave your daughter with someone while you collect the box? Dark glasses and a headscarf/hat pulled low and I doubt the kids in the playground will even recognise you.

Please don’t go hungry out of embarrassment or fear your daughter might be ‘found out’ to be getting FSM and bullied. Lots of kids in the playground probably get FSM too. There’s absolutely no need for you to go hungry!

If parents reject the boxes without good reason I’d be surprised if they’re included in the voucher scheme should that be rolled out later.

3x bananas so Brown they can't be eaten

If you have eggs, these will make perfect banana pancakes! No other ingredients needed.

I had to go pick up a food parcel today mostly we do ok but this week is a struggle as I've had to buy shoes for dds so I thought that will really help out. I received 1x tin of tuna, a loaf of bread, 1x orange, apple, 3x bananas so Brown they can't be eaten, 3x yoghurts,pack of cherry toms, cucumber,3x snack cheese,1 tin of sweetcorn, carton of long life milk 2x potatoes for two dc for a week.I appreciate the help but its not good enough really is it!

Forgive me for not understanding but i don’t understand why it’s ‘not good enough’.

Brown bananas ok not great, but you can still make banana cake or banana bread or milkshake with them?

You received a full loaf of bread, some tinned food and milk, a variety of fruit and salad items, cheese, yogurts, potatoes. That sounds plenty to make 5 lunches for 2 children.

Schools are doing their best, it saddens me when so many people complain they’re not doing enough. The boxes take time and energy to pack.

Child benefit, UC, tax credits, food banks etc can all be used to top up the box contents it’s you feel it’s not enough. We are so lucky in this country.

For those that assure posters that there is no stigma to FSM 'these days' I am afraid that is NOT the case in my children's Schools.
Kids are vile about FSM / benefits 'dole-ys' (as are quite a few parents) Surprising as it is a failing Academy in a rough area but there you are.

I can completely understand why a person might feel upset at the stigma which might be experienced by their child getting food parcels. How do I collect mine when I live 19miles from school. My child gets a bus pass. I don't. So, I pay £8.50 to collect their FSM?