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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Codeine addiction

211 replies

Cissyandflora · 07/01/2021 17:45

Can I ask has anyone got over codeine addiction? I have a ten year addiction and use more than prescribed. My life revolves around the drug. I am full of shame and only my sister knows about this irl. And she doesn’t know the extent. I’ve struggled with various addictions since my teens. I am now in my 50s. My gp called me and suggested I come off the drug. He said in my own time. And suggested coming in to start reducing in a few weeks. In typical addict fashion I am in a spiral of anxiety and can think of nothing else. Given the choice I would probably never stop. I take whatever I can get my hands on. Please do not pile in with criticism. I know I’m not doing the right thing. I feel a craving for mood altering drugs. I’ve used this to cope with everything in my life for the past 10 years. I am ashamed. I am mostly afraid of stopping and live in fear of my prescription being stopped. If I had to say the one problem with my addiction it is this- it’s the fear of not getting the drug.

I know there will be people who are impatient or angry with this type of person- me. But I really thank you for reading and please addicts help me if possible. Can I get off the drug? Please don’t berate me I don’t need that. If you don’t understand please don’t comment. I don’t mean that rudely. I’m just reaching out to strangers because I’m at a low ebb and I can’t discuss this with anyone irl.

OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 08/01/2021 20:49

@rebeccachoc thank you so much. Today I’ve stuck to 8 codeine. 2 co codomol and one phenergan. This is better than yesterday. Cannot wait for tomorrow when I can take more though. Even though they had no effect at all today.

OP posts:
Andante57 · 10/01/2021 08:31

How are you feeling today, op?

Oneearringlost · 11/01/2021 08:05

Hope today is a good day, Cisyandflora.

freeandfierce · 11/01/2021 09:28

You can do this. Gradually, day by day. You beat alcohol - massive achievement. Taper down gradually, let your body and mind adjust between each reduction. Your GP will support you. I was addicted to prednisolone (10 years plus), ended up buying in bulk from overseas to survive. Tapered off over a year. Slowly, small steps. Good luck Flowers

Cissyandflora · 15/01/2021 14:01

Thank you @freeandfierce and @Oneearringlost and @Andante57
I’m going to try to taper. Not doing it too well. I’ve tried to only take the 8 per day since making this post though. So that’s something. Then I’ll attempt to start tapering to 7 maybe in a week.
I’ve actually been ill for the past few days so I’m not feeling strong. Had negative Covid test though so that’s a relief. Im a single mum and homeschool has gone out of the window.

OP posts:
freeandfierce · 15/01/2021 19:11

Well done, it's all about positive mindset. Taper off VERY slowly, literally by an eighth of one tablet for at least a week to reduce side effects. Your body has become used to the chemicals so you need to let it adjust. You WILL and CAN do it, if you have a bad day write it off and start again. Be kind to yourself Flowers

Cissyandflora · 16/01/2021 19:25

@freeandfierce thank you. I’m going to try to stick to the 8 a day as prescribed for another week because this is a reduction in itself. I’m not sure if I’ll manage but my plan is to reduce further then. I’ll do as you suggest and do it really gradually. Already now because I know i can only take 8 I’ve taken them all within a few hours. And they have little effect now. I would normally keep taking more but I’m really trying to wait until the next day. I think posting here is the only thing that makes it real and makes me face the situation. I’ve literally never discussed this with another soul.

OP posts:
freeandfierce · 16/01/2021 19:42

You are doing brilliantly and already made huge progress. Keep posting if it's helping to 'check in'. Try and distract your mind when the cravings start, just do something, anything to divert your thoughts. Keep updating us Smile

TulesDana · 18/01/2021 22:14

@Cissyandflora can I ask how many mg of codeine you were taking? I replied last week and spoke of how I was addicted to tramadol. I never mentioned that I had recently been prescribed codeine,vi honesty thought of it as being so much weaker than tramadol that I could never have trouble with it. Foolishly I quickly started to take more and more codeine, chasing the feeling that tramadol gave me, though it never came. I'm currently in withdrawal as my prescription has ended early. I stupidly walked into another addiction, and although I don't feel ' bonded' with codeine, it's brought all of the unpleasant feelings back. Currently feeling the horrible depression that I felt quitting tramadol, it's awful. How are you coping with tapering? I never managed to taper, tapering takes a hell of a lot of will power. Hope your doing well.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 18/01/2021 23:46

I haven’t read the entire thread but could you afford a Rehab stay for a few weeks to completely detox under a professional?

FWIW my sister, similar age to you, has had addictions to codeine and alcohol and managed to come off both for long periods of time.

TaraR2020 · 19/01/2021 00:04

You have found a crutch that helps you deal with feelings and situations you have found overwhelming - there is nothing shameful in that.

You are wonderfully brave to own up to not one, but two addictions. And you conquered one, which proves to you that you can conquer this one.

Please, start being gentler with yourself. I'm sure there are things you regret and feel guilty for, that is true for all of us and is especially true when others may have been affected.

It does not sound, though, that self-flagellation is going to help you beat this addiction. And it sounds like you need to start forgiving yourself.

Remember that you have the strength and the wherewithal to do this. You have already started, now you simply need to keep going. Please find and use sources of support with whom you can be open and honest and remember that life changes all the time in many unexpected ways. These are not necessarily bad.

Flowers
Cissyandflora · 19/01/2021 13:35

@TulesDana I’m prescribed 8x 30 mg per day. Taking often double plus otc codeine at low strength. I’ve tried tramadol but it has no affect on me. Good luck with yours. Try to stop taking it. You’ve been through this once and it’s not working for you.

OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 19/01/2021 13:59

@TaraR2020

You have found a crutch that helps you deal with feelings and situations you have found overwhelming - there is nothing shameful in that.

You are wonderfully brave to own up to not one, but two addictions. And you conquered one, which proves to you that you can conquer this one.

Please, start being gentler with yourself. I'm sure there are things you regret and feel guilty for, that is true for all of us and is especially true when others may have been affected.

It does not sound, though, that self-flagellation is going to help you beat this addiction. And it sounds like you need to start forgiving yourself.

Remember that you have the strength and the wherewithal to do this. You have already started, now you simply need to keep going. Please find and use sources of support with whom you can be open and honest and remember that life changes all the time in many unexpected ways. These are not necessarily bad.

Flowers

Yes this is all true. It’s a crutch that I found and it’s really helped and supported me. But I’m at the point when I know I need to find another way. It’s scary. When I was drinking my life was so hellish that recovery was something I yearned for.
OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 19/01/2021 14:00

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

I haven’t read the entire thread but could you afford a Rehab stay for a few weeks to completely detox under a professional?

FWIW my sister, similar age to you, has had addictions to codeine and alcohol and managed to come off both for long periods of time.

Unfortunately I have to hide this problem because of my work. It would absolutely be a disaster for it to be known.
OP posts:
SqueakyCarrots · 20/01/2021 17:23

I’ve only been able to read half way through as I’m really disgusted with some of the inaccurate and harmful posts.

According to NHS pain clinic consultants (so they people in the best position to know in this country) taking pain killers correctly decreases sensitivity to pain not increases it!!

If your body feels pain your nerves split so increase so become more able to feel pain next time, even when there’s less stimulus. Also the pain receptors in your brain multiply every time you feel pain, so again feeling pain increases your sensitivity to pain- not decreases it like some bloody idiots are suggesting.

Op the first problem is your pain isn’t being managed at all- a maintenance pain killer routine should mean your pain is manageable on a day to day basis and baring new injury doesn’t require more pain relief- this clearly isn’t happening. The more you feel (physical) pain the more you are sensitised to pain and that how chronic pain becomes a life long issue where you need more and more pain killers just to have your previous lower level of pain. You need to see the pain clinic specialists to address this firstly- if not every time you try to reduce you will be in worse pain, which increases your pain sensitivity, which sets you up to fail. There are many other medication options, the anti depressants used to treat pain may not be the ones your doctor prescribes for depression, and the pain clinic can assess if you can take both. There are also several anti epileptic meds used of licence to treat chronic pain. And there’s other medical options and many non medical ones that can work along side the correct medication routine.

I have elher danlos syndrome. I have pregabilin and codine daily and never need to take more than prescribed once the right solution was found, I take less than prescribed most days. This requires a lot of physio along side, Pilates, careful weight training, and tens machine and tens acupuncturist and a Fuck tone of supplement also (cortaflex, MSM, magnesium, feroglobin plus, omegas) along with realistic pacing and a real understanding of what’s going on with my disability and what puts me at risk for worse pain. This took over a decade to get right- the anti depressants made me suicidal, many other opiates made my hyper or caused vomiting, others worked but Fuck was I high. I can’t take other types of pain meds due to other conditions. It’s a pitfa to manage it all, but mostly the pain is manageable these days. When it wasn’t I was desperate and depressed and unable to function at all, and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to deal with the emotional addiction issue on top of untreated pain. The balance I have now gets rid of 80% of the pain and I don’t feel high at all and I don’t feel anxious if I miss doses- before the pain was managed I’d feel like I was having anxiety attacks without my pain meds, because the fear of the pain was debilitating because pain itself is debilitating.

You need to address this first. And the pain clinic consultants are experts at understanding how untreated pain leads to addiction, and how best to tailor medication to give you the best chance at successfully addressing any addiction.

Then you need to address why your current mh treatment is leaving you needing to use pain meds for anxiety. Getting the right balance of pain meds to manage the pain effectively meant I didn’t self medicate, despite ptsd, but it sounds like you have long standing problems with addiction before your pain issues. Having the best pain management program for you will give you the best chance to address your mh needs (and addiction is a mh problem, it’s not something will power does anything for the same way will power can’t magic away psychosis or anxiety or flash backs).

People who are in pain seek out opiates, start dealing with the route cause of it all to let yourself be free of the problem. Physical pain (even life long disability like mine) is the easiest pain to treat, mh pain is much harder but the right meds and right therapy process is the same as finding the correct medication for pain and the correct management routine to go with it. It’s a medical need just the same and treating it as such helps. It’s not a character flaw or a sign of weakness or anything that has a magic solution or can be wished away with will power- you wouldn’t expect cancer to magically get better on its own without medical help, mh problems are no different.

Cissyandflora · 20/01/2021 18:50

Thank you. I’m not even in physical pain. This is about reliance on something mood altering. It was always that if I’m brutally honest. I think I did have bad pain- I mean I remember that. And it was horrible. But this is now codeine for a mood change. And I’m not getting the benefit. I’m going to try 7 today. And some sleeping pills to take the edge off it.

OP posts:
User2921 · 20/01/2021 19:33

If it were me, I would not reduce to 7 until I'd managed to hold at 8 for af least a week. And by that I mean not craving more than the 8 and feeling physically ok on 8.
Then I would go to 8 and 2/3 (get a pill cutter) and hold that for a week.
Truly, theres no rush, after all these years you need to so slowly.

TulesDana · 20/01/2021 20:35

The problem that I found with tapering was that on the few times I did manage to taper down, I quickly took more again and enjoyed the euphoria of an increased dose. Tapering can only work if you actually want to stop.

Cissyandflora · 20/01/2021 20:36

@User2921 thank you. I really felt the loss of the drug last night. I was very tense.
I do have a pill cutter. The pills are so tiny though.
Also- I used to take them throughout the day. Now it’s all within a few hours so I’m without for quite a long period of time. I keep taking them to try to get a buzz but I’m not getting it. Also one of the main reasons I want to wean myself off is so that I could lose the tolerance and then start up again. Awful I know- and I will try not to do that. I think once I can’t get the prescription I’ll be forced into stopping. I’m in a muddle as you can see.

OP posts:
WitchesGlove · 20/01/2021 21:44

@BakedTattie

I’m addicted to over the counter codeine. In small doses though. I take 2 every morning without fail. If I don’t I get severe headaches and feel awful. Have been doing this for years and years. I put it to the back of my mind thinking that it won’t be affecting my body or health.

No advice, other than you’re not alone.

I’m no expert, but it probably won’t affect your health if it’s within the prescribed dose?

Are you sure the headaches aren’t from the stress of thinking you can’t get them?

People experience similar with caffeine etc.

User2921 · 20/01/2021 22:02

@TulesDana

The problem that I found with tapering was that on the few times I did manage to taper down, I quickly took more again and enjoyed the euphoria of an increased dose. Tapering can only work if you actually want to stop.
I agree with this, but I think it's true for whatever method used. Tapering makes the physical withdrawal much easier, so you're likely to give up due to physical symptoms, but you may still have the psychological addiction to beat.

It sounds as though that will be a challenge for you OP, as you are not yet at the stage where you hate it more than you want it iyswim.

By the time I gave up there was no real pleasure in it anymore, it was just something I needed to do to not feel unwell, which made it easier I think.

Cissyandflora · 20/01/2021 22:39

Yes this is the problem. I don’t feel it’s destroying my life in the way that drinking did. Drinking would have killed me. But I would like to be free. Part of me wants it. But I’ll always be an addict I suppose. I am going to try the tapering. But honestly don’t have much confidence.

OP posts:
User2921 · 21/01/2021 10:09

I think you can have confidence in the fact that when you're ready it is possible to come off them, and it won't be too bad, so it's not something you need to dread, or not try when you do want to.

Meanwhile, I would suggest a harm limitation approach, as, as you probably know, all codeine containing meds are not equal in the damage they can do to your body. With OTC I would say be particularly careful around the ibruprofen brands (N+) due to the damage they can do to the stomach long term. Avoid on an empty stomach, be vigilant for acid, digestive issues, stomach pain etc. With the paracetamol brands, really important not to exceed the dose.

If you can it is much safer to use only codeine phosphate from your doctor and avoid the OTC altogether. But I know it's easier said than done, especially when you don't want to reveal the problem. And you probably know this already do I hope it doesn't sound patronising.

There are also a lot of forums for people with codeine addiction that can be information and supportive if you just Google it.

Anyway, the best of luck with whatever you do.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 21/01/2021 10:40

Your best bet is to buy a pill cutter. Cut the tablets into quarters and reduce by a quarter of a tablet a week. Keep it slow. Dependency doesn't form overnight and you won't get off them overnight either but you can do it.

As for your back pain, you need to find another treatment before you drop too much codeine as pain will just make you want them more.

Try seeing a Chiropractor but look for one who has a clinic. For my spine pain I have sports massage with acupuncture afterwards followed by chiro adjustment. All done at once at the same clinic. I'm nearly off the tramadol now. The sports massage helps tremendously but I think I benefit most from doing it all the same day.

TulesDana · 21/01/2021 12:43

,@Cissyandflora When the doctors called me to tell me I was going to have to reduce tramadol and come off it (they said they were taking all patients off it) I was panicking. I wanted to stay on it and be left alone. The surgery reduced my dose periodically and put me on a weekly prescription. I couldn't taper so ended up taking all of my tablets in a few days then waiting for the next Monday to come around. As the prescription reduced so did my okay days, and eventually it came to my last prescription and I sank into despair. After using tramadol as my crutch for so long I felt completely lost and miserable. I tried Kratom, it helps occasionally to lift my mood, though not to the same extent, but definitely helps when I'm at my lowest.

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