Codeine addiction

[Cissyandflora]

Can I ask has anyone got over codeine addiction? I have a ten year addiction and use more than prescribed. My life revolves around the drug. I am full of shame and only my sister knows about this irl. And she doesn’t know the extent. I’ve struggled with various addictions since my teens. I am now in my 50s. My gp called me and suggested I come off the drug. He said in my own time. And suggested coming in to start reducing in a few weeks. In typical addict fashion I am in a spiral of anxiety and can think of nothing else. Given the choice I would probably never stop. I take whatever I can get my hands on. Please do not pile in with criticism. I know I’m not doing the right thing. I feel a craving for mood altering drugs. I’ve used this to cope with everything in my life for the past 10 years. I am ashamed. I am mostly afraid of stopping and live in fear of my prescription being stopped. If I had to say the one problem with my addiction it is this- it’s the fear of not getting the drug.

I know there will be people who are impatient or angry with this type of person- me. But I really thank you for reading and please addicts help me if possible. Can I get off the drug? Please don’t berate me I don’t need that. If you don’t understand please don’t comment. I don’t mean that rudely. I’m just reaching out to strangers because I’m at a low ebb and I can’t discuss this with anyone irl.

Obviously the final decision is left up to a dr though. They usually give you a choice between methadone and subotex.

Thanks to everyone on this thread for stiffening my resolve to stay off the stuff!

I definitely wouldn’t take methodone. I would never get off.

@heydoggee I’m glad. I hope that people aren’t tempted to start. It’s a problem being candid about drugs because there’s a good side. It’s seductive. I won’t take heroin or methodone because I would die of it. My drinking was hell. I’ve lost friends who died young because of addiction.

Well like I say the decision comes down to a dr and then you obviously. You could look into subotex as well, but I think you do need to look into replacement if you cant quit immediately because it will be getting to the point of doing a lot of damage.

@AnotherVice - I know you mean well but the OP doesn't need to hear that right now.

Is the dose of codeine 15mg or 30mg per tablet?
I ask because the potency of the dose is important in the tapering down process and something your GP will assess in how they help you.
This is making you miserable. I second the NHS Drug and Alcohol Recovery Service. You get someone good and it can be lifechanging. All the v best.

It’s 30mg per tab. I supplement with otc 8 and 9mg tabs too. I’m not at the point where I want to stop. I’m just afraid because the doctor wants me to stop. I will be brave though. If I’m forced to do it I will not turn to alcohol and I will not turn to street drugs. On this I am resolved. Unfortunately I cannot be candid with a doctor because of my work. It would impact me terribly. I have to have medicals.

And I’m not even worried about my back pain anymore. That’s not even a consideration really. It’s the feeling of managing anxiety and managing life. It’s all been much better with codeine. I’ve felt empowered and effective and better with my children. I’m sorry for admitting it.

Your doctor is bound by confidentiality, but do you mean your work requires you to undergo medicals, blood screening & access to your medical records?

Would your work be supportive of you getting help & coming off the codeine? My employers have employee assistance programmes that are confidential. Is that something they have or would be open to?

Work would see my records yes. The doctor would tell them. And so I can’t go via this route. I normally admit to slight arthritis but that’s to excuse the pain prescription. Def nothing confidential in my work. It’s very judgmental. I can’t say what it is because I didn’t change my username and it’s really outing. But I’m not making excuses- I do know I can access other places that would be confidential like NA for example. I also have a lovely therapist. I take lots of codeine before speaking to her because it makes me more relaxed and open to conversation. I’ve never mentioned addiction. Very much talking about daily life and the children. She’s from a charity. I do feel she could support me if I did have to face this though. I have more trust in her because she is not linked to my work and would only report me if she felt my children were in danger. I think she would see they are not in danger.
Honestly thanks to everyone for taking the time to advise me. Nothing is wasted or ignored. And I know you are all busy with your own lives and probably trying to juggle home schooling too. So I really appreciate the support here. I feel comforted. And I knew it would be confronting too. That’s the dread.

@Strike000 this is very helpful too. Thank you

I have, through my job, met quite a lot of people who have become dependant on opiates both prescribed and bought, some for genuinely managing pain and some because addiction has taken over.
I would encourage you to work with your GP, there is a drive now for them to reduce prescribing but they have have a lot more information and guidance now on reducing doses gradually. I have seen quite a few people who have engaged with this do really well and either become drug free or get their pain controlled in a better way
Good luck

Loads of people I know who move off codeine swear by epsom salts.

Op I think I am right in saying a private doctor wouldn’t be obliged to make records available to your work.
Would a private doctor be within your budget?

So what total daily dosage do you take on
a) A heavy usage day
b) A mefium usage day
c) A light usage day
For instance, would you take 16 30mg tablets a day?
I think its importance to work out total daily doses, what influences a heavy day, a medium or light day?
I would write this all down and seek out help other than your GP if that is not feasible. I really think you need some help. Im not sure if a 12 step programme would be helpful right now, as it relies heavily on a strong desire to stop. Ie "Are you prepared to go to any lengths to etc..,"
It sounds like you need some proper supported addiction help.

And please don't feel that you have to necessarily pay for excellent addiction support. It is there. Google EDP Addiction support/SMART Recovery or REACH. All free and not attached to your medical records. Also, even if you did go to your GP, they are not specifically trained in addiction and the complexity around it. They would be helpful in reducing down only. Sounds like you need more of a professionally trained addiction counsellor type of support. These people are usually highly trained, with plenty of experience and often ex addicts themselves.

I was addicted to tramadol, codeine and morphine. It fucked up my stomach to the point where even a sip of water caused me excruciating pain so I was forced to go cold turkey. For me it was more of a mental addiction as I used it to suppress my appetite (I have a long term eating disorder) so I didn't really have any adverse reactions to going cold turkey.

@Cissyandflora ah my mistake, I thought you meant co-codomol on first reading. Last year I had a IBS type flare up and I was prescribed codeine. Now after my tramadol troubles I shouldn't have even touched them, but I did and quickly took larger amounts without really thinking. Fortunately it was a short term, not on repeat prescription and I didn't have time to get addicted physically. It was a blip in my overall recovery though as for a few days I felt great. Despite it not really touching the pain very much( though pain wasn't severe),i had an inner peace and happiness and a desire to deep clean the kitchen and get on with things I couldn't face before. Then back to normal, and my normal now isn't bad at all. Yet psychologically there will always be a longing when I'm feeling low or tired. It was hard for me to believe that coming off the tramadol was the best thing, after all, it made me overall more productive, connected and present, which was better for everyone. The well meaning words of doctors etc were hard to believe because I was the one living it. So for me it was forced, and I gradually sulked( silently to myself) less and less, until I started to get though my days feeling ok. I know if I hadn't been forced to, that I would have never chosen to come off them myself. If only I had never accepted take home painkillers after my operation in 2008, the following decade wouldn't have been plagued by my secret addiction.

Yes it’s the inner peace and happiness it gives me which is so seductive. I’ve got so much done in my life because of the drug.
And I agree with the person saying 12 steps not right at the moment. I do not have a desire to stop. I have a fear that I will have to.
And yes a private doctor would probably not need to tell my work. I could afford a one off perhaps but not ongoing. I’ve paid one off to get prescription.

What @strike000 said. 100%.

Hi, I joined today as I was in your position and wanted to share a positive experience.

I was addicted to OTC codeine for 12 years and took between 16 and 24 pills per day.

I have now been codeine free for over 12 months.
I weaned myself off using a very slow tapering plan, reducing my dose by just half a tablet every 3 days.

I had very few withdrawal symptoms, which for some reason only started when I reduced from 4 to 3.5 a day. At this point I started to get some leg and shoulder pain, goosebumps and shivers, plus some restlessness and mild anxiety; but nothing I couldn't cope with, or that was noticable to anyone else.

I had no help from my GP, didn't have therapy or join any support group. Not to say this was the right approach, just that if you don't want to try these avenues, its possible to do it without.

During my taper I started to take vitamin D, calcium and potassium supplements as I'd read these helped with withdrawal and deficiency caused by long term codeine use.

Twelve months on, I don't even think about codeine, no cravings, nothing. I have saved a fortune, and it's fantastic to know I don't need to plan my life around my addiction any more.

The pain that started my addiction I find is managed much better with paracetamol now, as the codeine had actually stopped working.

So, please know, it is possible and it is worth it.
I wish you all the best.

Just to add, the inner peace you get, I had that too and genuinely believed it made me better at coping.

However, that had to be balanced against the ever present low level anxiety of knowing I was harming myself, wasting thousands of pounds, never able to do anything without factoring codeine in (is it allowed in the country I want to go on holiday to? Do I have enough for over Christmas? Which chemist haven't I been to for a while? Will they ban it soon and I won't be able to get it?)

I can honestly say, I have never missed it, and cope as well as I ever did.

(I'd love to say I cope better, but, for balance, the truth it, theres been no earth shattering improvement in my life or health, it's pretty much the same, other than not worrying about codeine anymore, but that's enough.)

@User2921 thank you thank you

Please please don't be ashamed, I would respect someone for being honest and asking for help a hell of a lot more than someone that tried to hide it. Also your doctor knows so there's nothing you need to confess. You can't be on it at that quantity for 10 years and not be addicted physically.

First step talk to your doctor and say I'm sure you realise I've got addicted over the years because of the pain needs but I've found myself using them to cope with day to day life.

Next ask for any and all help they can give you to deal with your emotions so you don't have so much of a reason to reach for the pills. Counseling, antidepressants etc.

Try a pain clinic, I find injections they give me there and then help the shooting pains from my back no end. And again take any and all help they offer. They are very very used to addictions.

And when you are mentally stronger and have a different way of helping the pain, then and only then start trying to reduce. If you try and reduce when you are mentally ready you won't ever succeed I don't think. If you can set your self an upper limit and stick to that for however long it takes for you to feel comfortable knowing that's your limit and you can't exceed it. Then take only half a tablet a day away, get used to that level again and then reduce another half tablet. I'd suggest noting down in a diary or something similar what you start at and when you reduce. After a few weeks you can look back and say wow I've cut down 1 tablet a day and stuck to it and be really really proud of yourself. If you feel comfortable go to a drugs group as I'm sure they will have a lot more tips and techniques than I've just come up with.

But please remember don't be ashamed, you are stronger than you think and be proud of every thing you do to tackle this, whether that's asking a doctor for help or sticking to your daily limit, you should be so so proud of yourself. I'm so proud of you just being so honest here so I know you can do this. Good luck.