We aren’t getting any home learning done.

[Whatwill2021bringus]

Hi all, probably get flamed but here goes. I know everyone is finding this hard.

I have two children with sen and ehcps - but aren’t being offered any provision at school as deemed not vulnerable and lack of space at the school. They both have extra support at mainstream school. My son has full time 1:1. They both have moderate learning difficulties - more so DS. Both have autism. They cope we at school with no
Major issues it’s just home life isn’t great.

I just can’t simply teach them. They don’t respond well to me trying to teach them and do not take me seriously. My partner is still working but not an essential worker. I am home alone with them during the day.

To make it worse the work set is too hard for DS and we haven’t been given any other work (yet anyway). So I’m trying to think of our own thing to do with him which is hard. Dd can cope with most of the work set with extra help. They both need my full attention at all times.

DS does not sleep much at the minute so I’m absolutely exhausted, no time to eat or anything for myself as I’m constantly supervising, entertaining and trying to teach them myself. All they do is fight and argue and DS can get quite physical.

DS pretty much refuses to do anything. Dd is influenced by DS and hasn’t got much done.

The last lockdown wasn’t great either. We got barely anything done and they both fell further behind and we had an awful job settling them back down in September. Pretty much took the whole first term to get to a good point now it’s all going backwards again and we will be at the same point again!

To add I had the most terrible 2020, not just due to covid but various other reasons. My mental health isn’t in the best place and I feel done. I know thousands of other people are in the same boat but my god I’m exhausted.

I’ve emailed the school asking advice on how to engage them and sustain their interest with little advice. I don’t think they see the same issues at school I have at home. They both cope well at school. I really don’t enjoy being a parent anymore

Not just because of them being off due to covid but been struggling for a while - particularly with DS and his behaviour - shouting, swearing, getting a little physical at times and pushing the boundaries. His dad doesn’t help out at all and didn’t see him once during the first lockdown even though he could have and he lives in the same town!!

I need some help, a virtual hug and a hand hold please. Things can get better right?

My house is a tip and I’ve not had any time to do much which is getting me down as I’m usually very house proud. I feel very alone right now. My family aren’t very supportive. I know we can’t see them but even a text asking how things are would be appreciated at times. My in laws are so judgmental and blame my parenting.

I try my best, I really do! 😭

I hope the stuff on BBC as of Monday will help you out, at least put some routine in the day.

• Whatwill2021bringus

Thanks all. I am feeling like giving up on the academic stuff and just doing things like board games, documentaries, puzzles, science experiments and stuff like this.*

All of them are educational! Learning can come in all shapes and sizes!

His special interests are very unique and niche @SeaToSki. I won’t spill them on here as could completely give me identity away 🤣

We have been looking at webcams. Probably not deemed educational but looking at cams from
all over the world - geography? 🤣

That’s very educational. You can always look at the different wildlife and things there, comparing climates etc. My Ds loves a good webcam!

Please be easy on yourself, just do anything with them they enjoy - they will get more out of it than having work pushed at them they will not do and they will get stressed and you will just feel defeated - I have been there and I just gave myself a good talking to and as long as they are alive, well and happy be content.

I have been honest with my DD's teacher that there will be attempts at schoolwork but do not expect too much, my DD is Autistic among other things and she sees school and home as two different places that should not mix ! her teacher has said just be led by what she will do.

She goes to a special school but cannot attend as she is not classed as vulnerable, she is more willing to do work in the morning so I try and get some done then, she is at the moment playing games on the Cbeebies website on her tablet.

There is a saying that every day is a school day - so they are learning, it is juat not in the structured way that happens at school.

Definitely geography, can he print a map of the world or country where the web cams are and label their location? Then do a poster on his favourite three web cams and what he saw. Maybe he can count how many times something happened or he saw something and then graph it over 24 hours. Then give a talk about his findings and if there is a pattern and why. That would be geography, maths science and writing

Just do what you can and leave it if needs be, it’s unfeasible to expect everyone to get on with 6 hrs schooling a day at home.
My kids are older and NT and it’s bad trying to supervise, answer questions, sort out tech issues etc etc whilst working myself.

@1950s1

They're autistic. Someone doesn't 'have' autism, it's the way their brain works. I'm triggered at how ignorant you are.

Please stfu I will use whatever term I want to describe my child!

@1950s1

I've seen the exact opposite advocated on here, that people have autism, not that they are autistic.
That's so rude to call someone out when you could equally be considered wrong. What did it gain you to do that? Feel better?

I absolutely would focus on basic skills rather than actual content. Some ideas:
Write a story all together - you take it in turns to write the next sentence. If the physicality of writing is an issue, they can type it, or you act as scribe.

Cooking - look at a recipe for 12 cookies. get them to work out how to double it to 254. If they engage well with the task, they get to make and eat them

Horrible histories - or even better, find Gory Games which is the quiz show version on You Tube. After watching a lot of that my 2 made up their own version and I had to be quiz master. You could pause it and get them to have a go at the answers

Lots of David Attenborough - then maybe film them and do a voice over of them pretending to be monkeys or whatever.

Re enact famous battles with playmobile or lego - we did Hastings and Bosworth last time - again, filming them seemed to engage mine more than just doing it.

In the end, you can only do the best you can do. I'd be hesitant to do nothing at all, as unlike last time this isn't a one off or even likely to be for a short time, but its incredibly hard and they should be getting support - write to the school, LEA and even MP if needed.

• Write a timetable and do the same things every day.
• Make sure your children can see the timetable. And tick the activities off as you go alone.

-Make your expectation for the day shorter not longer.

• Ditch school work.
• What I am suggesting needs access to two devices that connect to the internet and headphones eg laptop and ipad, laptop and phone.
• Exercise book and pens

Here is my suggestion for you:

9.30am - Go out for a walk (round the block, to the park, to the woods) - Get out the house, get fresh air, get moving, put distance between yourselves and the devices/watching/youtube/games etc.
10am - 10.40am Maths of English.
Doesn't matter which but children have to chose one. The point is that they get some choice in what they do.
10.40 am Break/snack/no screens
11am - 11.40am Maths of English (whatever they didn't do first)

*Maths or English - follow the Oak Academy curriculum. It might be better to go for a year or two younger than your children's ages. They can watch the lessons using headphones. You will need to be there to help.

End of school day
Relax

An hour - hour and a half of a regular routine 5 days per week is much more beneficial over the long term for all of you.

I need to proof read more - sorry x

Tick off as you go ALONG

Maths OR English

Thank you lovely people 🌸

Oh that is really hard for you, OP, try not to sweat it too much. DS has ADHD and last lockdown I couldn't do a lot with him (this time round school is doing more zoom and he is now on medication and able to concentrate better) so I found a few good TV shows to fill time educationally. On netflix Great British Castles is good for kids who like history, and Universe for space fans. 'Bill Nye Science Guy' has a lot of episodes on Youtube and is funny and accessible for young kids. You might even find something relating to the school work (I did a few times last time) as so many topics are covered.

Your children don’t have the option to do nothing as the curriculum has not been scrapped this time around so they must learn. This is where all the pressure is coming from really.

I would contact the school again and explain you need help- rinse and repeat. They are responsible to ensure he is being taught the curriculum...although not sure if that’s the case whilst a school is shut.

I’m triggered at how ignorant you are 😂😂

That’s hilarious...even for Mumsnet! 😂

It’s hard to offer advice because it depends on the learning capabilities and level of your children but there’s loads of resources online (just a Google away)
Painting with twigs, leaves, cotton buds will help their find motor skills
Work can be fun like the above, not too long in lefty, then songs from you tube (loads of numeracy ones), making a volcano using vinegar, food colouring, baking powder (fun and messy) and before you know it that’s maths, art and science done!

Google Attention Autism..loads of stuff for different levels of sen

At 10 and six I would relax things a little, play board games (encourage counting) number games, baking, read books, play, try setting little projects about an animal, trees etc, maths workbooks (lower age groups- as revision and building confidence)
I wouldn't worry too much about doing the online work
Be kind of yourself! Xxx

@1950s1 you’re triggered?! WTAF does that even mean?!

OP that sounds unbelievably tough and I really think you should push the school to try and accommodate your DC for at least some of the week

Sending you virtual hugs. I hope it gets better for you. x

It's worth contacting the school to say the work is too difficult, significantly harder than in-school work. This could well be the school/teachers reacting to raised expectations, and therefore going a bit overboard. It's worth doing as it will tell you which way the wind is blowing.

In my school, surveys showed many students were overwhelmed by the work coupled with live lessons. We were told to cut one lesson week for our subject for students to use as they wished. Teachers stayed on Teams throughout to take any questions related to their subject.

In the end, you make the decisions about what your children can do.

All the best, OP.

It's worth knowing that they both have a legal right to the contents of their EHCP - that right hasn't been suspended this time round. That EHCP is presumably what is needed to ensure they access education so without it, they won't access education.

I would firmly ask the school how they will be fulfilling this legal right for your children.

At their ages I really wouldn’t worry. My autistic 9yr old (yr 5) is not doing any of the home learning school has sent - he refuses to engage with it and I refuse to spend our days arguing over it (not least because I am solo parent and working full time from home)
He plays with and builds Lego, does some drawing, is compiling a list of good insults (some very creative ones in there already 😂), watches Horrible Histories/Operation Ouch, we do some form of exercise every day, he plays Dobble/Uno with me. He is not allowed to game (Roblox etc) between 9am and 3pm but can use his iPad for educational games and I’ve said Minecraft also ok. He might occasionally agree to read to me for 5 minutes - but even that’s from his Fortnite Annual 2021 so hardly educational! But he’s happy, and I’m happy. School may not be so happy but then again he doesn’t engage much in school either so I doubt they have high expectations!

Seriously though, don’t put pressure on them and yourselves and end up with everyone miserable. This could go on until Easter (or beyond in worst case scenario) so focus on keeping everyone calm and happy and if you can throw in a few fun learning opportunities all the better but don’t stress over it. They are still young and there is plenty of time to sort the academic stuff...

I just got my DS with autism (and no EHCP) a place - got turned down initially but I just refused to take no for an answer and they eventually agreed. If I were you I’d just push and push and push.