To remind you that you cannot use your au pair for childcare all day every day

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Its modern slavery unless you plan to pay them minimum wage for the hours.

I know several people doing this with children under 5 - using au pair for 10 hours a day all day. When they are only paid £80 a week.

I know people are struggling but its doesnt make it ok to abuse another person - please pay your au pairs appropriately if you are asking them to do full time.

And this notion of them being poor? Wow you judge Europeans badly.
I took the "poor" as not financially but as the other meaning.
Poor girls and boys can't really afford to go on these programs

Just want to add that @JustFrustrated either has some chip on a shoulder or misunderstood the op...
It's not saying ALL aupairs are treated badly and exploited. Bit of an overreaction.

Yanbu

Lots of au pairs are taken advantage of by cheapskate families.

Not a single person who would shamefully exploit their au pair would take a damn bit of notice of your entreaty.

You’re still right, though.

The au pair scheme fits a very specific legal position - the financial contribution is seen as pocket money, paying more than the scheme recommended amounts means the host and/or au pair may have to pay TAX and NI. The scheme is meant to be a cultural and language exchange arrangement with light duties as part of the swap - it should never replace a child care need that is in excess of a that description.

@JustFrustrated

I dont think that she was trying to say all APs are exploited just that some people have unreasonable expectations of somethings like work hours. I've certainly seen them being recommended on mumsnet for fulltime child care for peanuts.

It's the same with any job, the pay should fit the job. If they are only providing a few hours wrap around care for older children that's very different to full time with a baby with limited realistic opportunities to leave the house.

It's a bit like a car wash. Not all people working for a car wash will be exploited, some will chose to work there for the right wage, but that doesnt diminish the other places where passports are held, and people are trapped by awful conditions

I was an English assistant in my early 20s in France with the British Council in the early 2000s. 'Taught' 12 hours a week for that I got room and board and €800pm. Bliss.

@atotalshambles

Well said, OP. Over the years I have seen many families who have used au- pairs in a nanny role. It is really unfair . These are normally very young people who haven’t been necessarily developed the skills to push back against adults’ requests. Looking after young children is emotionally and physically exhausting. I would actively advise my kids to never become an au pair - I have seen so many young people taken advantage of.

Spot on!

It is extremely unfair . Husbands leering at them, and doing nanny type jobs with a fraction of the pay and conditions.

It is exploitation.

Wow. Mumsnet is such a niche site isn't it. I don't know anyone in real life with an au pair. In fact I didn't think they were a thing since Mary Poppins!! This website must skew to the more well off in society.

I don't think it's that much niche since there is around 100k au pairs every year. At keast it was few years ago.

I don't know anyone in real life with an au pair. In fact I didn't think they were a thing since Mary Poppins!!

Mary Poppins was a nanny not an au pair, and lots of people have au pairs. As you can see, it doesn't cost very much!

It's much more of a thing in cities, obvs. Especially London (because young people from other countries want to live here for a bit and experience it; they're a lot less inclined to live in a rural area). I haven't used one myself (although I do have a nanny, and pay her properly) but have met/encountered several on the school run.

And before we get more of a chorus of Not All Au Pair Employers, nobody has said that all au pair arrangements are exploitative, but many are, and since most au pairs are young people living in a foreign country without own accommodation and speaking a non-native language, they are vulnerable to exploitation.

My dd thought about au pairing.. I was shocked at jobs basically wanting a nanny.
Many many adverts with three or more under fives, and it was full time sole care.
One even wanted overnight care as both parents worked away once a week.

@DayBath

Wow. Mumsnet is such a niche site isn't it. I don't know anyone in real life with an au pair. In fact I didn't think they were a thing since Mary Poppins!! This website must skew to the more well off in society.

Me neither! It sounds really exploitative to me.

My gps had lots of DC of French friends coming to stay to learn English (not as au pairs) and they would help as any DC would but not with children. Even back in the Sixties GPs put up several fleeing au pairs whom their guests had met at language classes who were being mistreated. Plus ca change ....

It can be exploitative, but it can also be really great and valuable experience. It really depends on the family. Some are horrible, some are just normal and some can afford lots of extras. Like everything in life it can be bad or good.

I remember most of the girls and guys having issues found families themselves. I went through agency for extra security.

We have a live in junior nanny but she only works 3 days a week, works from 9-5 whilst and DS sleeps from 12:30-02:30, I wake him and she takes over at 3 once I prepared the snack as I'm 100% WFH and it's all very flexible, so actual time with DS is about max 6h, usually less. There have been days where we asked to help out until 6 if work was super busy but that's rare.

No cooking, no cleaning required, I do all of that. She gets £50 a day, £150 a week + I cook a nice meal every evening and she eats with us, basically the same rate we pay the childminders. My friend hired her and pays her £10 an hour as a live out nanny & she teaches two kids her native language locally which she gets £50 for for two hours.

She was an au pair before in New Zealand for 12 months - 3 children, 3 months, 2 & 4, after that she was an au pair, then she was an au pair again in England for a 3 months old for 1 1/2 years (obvs the children get older whilst she's there) + 4 teenage kids.

She then moved onto the junior nanny role with us but has a large double room, I cook a nice family meal every night for all of us etc and we're all very happy with the situation. We chatted about money very openly beforehand. As I am pregnant, we decided it's best for her to leave mid /end of February to find a full time live out nanny role because she's very able and I personally think that's best for her and us. I won't need full time care and done need someone in the house 24/7 as I'll be at home and also need the extra space.

She even said she'll probably worse off given that she will have to rent a room in London which is probably going to be £700-800 + bills, she loves food (same as me and we spend a good £500 on food every months for 3 adults and a toddler) + she'll have to travel to work.

I know I'm not paying her loads of money but this was discussed beforehand and we were all happy with the situation and still are, get on really well. It's been a good and happy experience for all of us. DS will move to the childminders 4x a week rather than 2x a week from when she leaves. She knows that once she's gone, we would love for her to help out with babysitting etc whereas then we'll pay her the standard hourly rate given that she's no longer live in.

@cheesebubble as long as she's under 24, that's fine. Min wage is £8.72 and you can offset £57.40/week as you're paying accommodation.

I thought most potential au pairs had got wise to the fact that they may get exploited. There's very few out there at the moment and they can pick and choose. It's been a few years since I've heard of one of my au pair's friends being exploited.

We've had au pairs for several years. They had their own flat and car, gym membership, worked around 27 hours a week and we paid £118/week (which is the max you can pay without having to register as an employer.)

Isn't it possible for an EU person to be an aupair anymore? Why not? It's possible for other young people (from outside the EU)? I imagine there's some paperwork to sort though. The same for UK young people wanting to aupair abroad.
I remember looking for an aupair job in France as a student, and I was offered one looking after a 2 year old for 10 hours a day while the parents were at work, and would then be encouraged to speak English to the parents. The pay was 20 pence per hour.

Isn't it possible for an EU person to be an aupair anymore? Why not?

Brexit. It appears au pairs were quite, completely, forgotten.

Oh fuck. I wonder whether it will still be possible for UK people to aupair in the EU? I was hoping that would be open to my DC, now that Erasmus has gone.
This seems to be the only possibility in terms of having an aupair in the UK, unless they're prepared to stay with you and help out without being paid:
The UK Au Pair scheme now comes under Tier 5 Youth Mobility Scheme and only nationals from the following countries are eligible to apply for visas under the scheme:

Australia
New Zealand
Canada
Japan
Monaco
Taiwan
Republic of Korea
Hong Kong
NO OTHER NATIONALITIES ARE CURRENTLY ELIGIBLE.

@IceIceBebe

I don't know anyone in real life with an au pair. In fact I didn't think they were a thing since Mary Poppins!!

Mary Poppins was a nanny not an au pair, and lots of people have au pairs. As you can see, it doesn't cost very much!

You're showing your privilege there. Most families can't magic up a spare 4k a year! Yep, defo only an option for the well off then.

Presumably as well as the extra money you would also need room to house them so a decent size house with spare room? Not necessarily millionaires but you're all doing nicely for yourselves then. Even if I could manage up the money, the au pair would have to sleep in the shed!

It is crazy unless you can giving them extras.
You must pay an au pair minium wage per hour in Ireland under the W.R.C it stops them being over worked but unfortunately makes them unaffordable for most people.

That's why she said "lots of people have au pairs", not "all"🤷🏻