To remind you that you cannot use your au pair for childcare all day every day

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Its modern slavery unless you plan to pay them minimum wage for the hours.

I know several people doing this with children under 5 - using au pair for 10 hours a day all day. When they are only paid £80 a week.

I know people are struggling but its doesnt make it ok to abuse another person - please pay your au pairs appropriately if you are asking them to do full time.

I'm on the continent and where I am it's common to register nannies at au pairs as a tax dodge. The nannies are getting a lot more money than a real au paid would be getting.

I was an au pair 30 years ago. I had decent pocket money plus all board etc, trips, holidays, treats with family. I did morning cleaning and helped to prepare cooked meal at lunchtime (but employer did most of it) occasionally ran an errand in the afternoon which employer asked but did not expect me to do and I very occasionally babysit ( kids were at their dads EOW). My employer did longer cleaning jobs herself eg window cleaning and did big weekly shop herself. Kids were both at school. One was a young teen. I helped with kids’ English homework and learned as much of their language as I could. The whole family treated me so well - I went to a family wedding and ladies of the family put on a lovely birthday tea for me. I stayed for Christmas and it was wonderful. That is how an au pair should be treated.

I have never known an au pair to put a child in danger... It happens obviously but I strongly disagree with the "often" part.
And, obviously they will have poor language skills. You don't normally go to be an aupair if you are fluent. You go to learn the language and experience the culture.

I do agree though that people do use them in a way they shouldn't and do want certified nanny and more for pennies.

A friend of mine is currently an au pair in London - the children's parents are WFH so she's looking after the kids (two five year olds) for about 12 hours a day, every weekday. They expect her to work on weekends too. It's awful.

It's really between the au pair and the family. The au pair should receive pocket money (circa £100 a week), with all main living expenses covered - ie. all food, board, expenses relating to the children or activities with the family. Then the au pair can also receive free gym membership (ok, not so useful right now!), use of car, petrol paid for etc. We have also paid for English lessons before. But besides all this there is the enrichment experience that it is hard to put a value on. We always take our au pairs on days out, visits to London and other cities, ensure we spend a good amount of free time with her and that we're actively encouraging her to talk and get involved. All this helps build English language proficiency, which is generally the purpose of the stay.
We've never requested more than 20-25 hrs au pair help a week and would offer extra pay at our babysitter's rate if we were to. But, I can imagine at the moment that there are a lot of bored au pairs out there and if he/she is happy to help out in their free time then that is their call.

Yes as per neutral rich pricks tacking advantage of the poor what a fucking surprise.

The contract I had with my Au Pair was the above in return for 25 hours' work. I also provided a car as I needed her to do school runs, but she was free to use the car for her personal use, all expenses paid. I don't agree with asking them to do more than these hours but do consider the full extent of their remuneration.

but a large part of her advantage (if not all) of having use of the car is irrelevant now because she has nowhere to go. So there must be some compromise to be had to give her more money or something, surely?

@laidbacklife why bother having any employment laws then. Just leave to employer and employee? We don’t because we recognise there is a power imbalance and employees need protecting. It absolutely should not be left to an unscrupulous family. The whole area needs far better regulation and checks.

(I should add I have friends who have had au pairs and they very much act in the spirit of the scheme, but I would say the majority don’t. I have a friend who has just decided to send her au pair back as she’s got a key worker place at school and she doesn’t want the au pair around while she and her husband work from home).

@Rhiannon13

Would you work for £4.28 per hour?

OP, you're appealing to people who also think it's perfectly ok to pay a qualified and registered adult £5 or less per hour to look after their children, and who then often feel that they're being 'fleeced' by their childminder because they have to pay 'so much'. When I worked in this field I felt a distinct lack of respect and I'm sure it was because, despite many qualifications and years of experience, I wasn't seen as a professional due to being paid so little. A vicious circle.

THIS ^

A friend is a childminder - years of experienced council checks etc. And people still begrudge paying the very low rate childminders charge - especially if they decided to (say) go away for a month - they didn't want to pay even half rate to have their place kept, even though my friend could have filled her places three times over.

It always astonishes me that people who will happily pay £50 for a bottle of wine begrudge paying a decent rate to get the most precious things in their lives cared for properly.

Wow, makes me realise how lucky I was when I was an au pair many years back (20+). I was paid £30 then (so £80 doesn't seem much) plus bed/board (had my own room and, virtually, bathroom). I helped the kids to get ready in the mornings i.e. breakfast, pack bags, then had the day free (for language lessons etc) and was then back at home to prepare tea and help with homework etc. Then I had the evenings off unless I was baby sitting which was 1-2 times/week max. So I must have done a lot less than the max ceiling of 30 hours. I didn't have a driving licence so didn't need to do drop offs/pick ups. Reckon the family got a bum deal ;)

Just for a balanced view. My daughter is currently an au pair in America. She is on her second family year (she can only do two years before she has to come back) and it is absolutely fantastic and I would encourage any young person to do the same.

She lived for a year in one state. Lovely family. Lovely children. Light duties. Been paid over what is recommended and so has had money to travel.
She is now experiencing a new state. Again fab family. Goes with them on trips. Lovely children. Light duties.
We are British so no language barrier which helps a lot I am sure.
Apart from the hassle sorting a visa and that I miss her there hasn't been any negatives at all.

Completely agree OP - my experience of au pairs is mixed - 4 - some brill some dire ( lasted a week)

I paid £100pw, mobile phone, own car fully insured for school runs and their own use, petrol to cover school runs, free board and accommodation, tube pass for 20 hours per week and paid extra to babysit when needed. That covered school drop off and pick up 3.5 days a week ( from me leaving the house to me getting home) and a few extra hours here and there.

When done properly and not abusive it is not a cheap option - when I looked at expenses it was £700+ per month. ( the car being a killer but essential)

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Andcallofchridtmas: Allowing even £50 a week to reflect doom and board (I dont believe HMRC's even allows that much) that would be £150 a week for 35 hours work. Would you work for £4.28 per hour? And disallowing a notional amount for the accomodation and food its even less.

I think this shouod be highlighted for childcare apprenticeships in a nursery.

They are paid less than this and have to work a full week often without their studyday.

After a few weeks they are treated like full time staff and expected to do the same duties.

After a year they can then recieve minimum wage and the nursery managers act like they are doing you a favour and giving you a big pay rise.

Don't worry, the government hasn't provided for any legal means of getting au pairs post Brexit anyway

Imagine Scamming a young woman to look after your kids all the time for 80quid a week, it doesn't matter if she gets free meals, board and use of a car, she's looking after your child because for whatever reason you can't see able to, that's worth more than 80 quid and if anything it's slave labour. pay these young lassies the wages they deserve and if you can't then look after your own children.

Government guideline might be £80 but I don't know any au-pair paid any less than £150 a week (usually more!) with added language lessons, transport obviously. Fair enough it's pocket money, but come on!

Some families are REALLY taking the piss.

@Rhiannon13

Would you work for £4.28 per hour?

OP, you're appealing to people who also think it's perfectly ok to pay a qualified and registered adult £5 or less per hour to look after their children, and who then often feel that they're being 'fleeced' by their childminder because they have to pay 'so much'. When I worked in this field I felt a distinct lack of respect and I'm sure it was because, despite many qualifications and years of experience, I wasn't seen as a professional due to being paid so little. A vicious circle.

The resonates with me. I feel for the (often young) girls working in private nurseries. They get paid peanuts, and no holiday/sick pay either. And no furlough, because nurseries aren't being ordered to close...

Have you made a safeguarding alert to the local authority if you know this is happening?

We had an au-pair a few years ago when my youngest was tiny and she was genuinely surprised by what we expected from her as her previous family had taken the piss so massively.

Three times we ended up with a friend of hers crashing in her room for a couple of nights when they either had to leave because things got so bad with their host family.

People don’t respect childcare professionals in this country anyway (you see all the time people whinging about the cost and the sound of parents who are regularly 15/20 minutes late to collect their child is unreal) and that’s even more prevalent with au pairs.

You see it in the threads when people are genuinely surprised they’re struggling to find an au pair when they live in the middle of nowhere, are offering the lowest salary and the least extras. The lack of respect screams through.

In London I've always paid £150 a week, it's just a joke not to.

Pretty sure my APs have all been happy with us.

Wrap around care of primary aged kids (apart from currently, and she's now on 30 hours)

All day trips paid for, all snacks, treats. Gets paid more than I have in disposable each week. Can have friends and family visit and stay when they want (obviously not currently). And good friendships made.

Ohhh but of course you lot know the truth and that I'm exploiting them all....despite the fact every single one still visits us/calls/sends presents.

In fact I can screenshot the message from our current girls mom? Where she's thanking us?

And this notion of them being poor? Wow you judge Europeans badly.

All bar three have come from very very rich families. But sure y'all know better.

So you like your underpaid staff to be grateful for your condescension.

I completely agree. I would expect someone doing 40+ hours of childcare to be paid a proper wage, not £80 per week.

As 40 hours of childcare means that they are not really an au pair rather a live-in nanny, they should be paid 40 hours * £6.45 (assuming aged 18-20) minus the maximum accommodation offset of £8.20 per day. This would equal £200.60 per week as an absolute minimum if my maths is correct.

Obviously, it's different if the Au Pair is genuinely only doing light housework and childcare, and are treated as one of the family.

And this notion of them being poor? Wow you judge Europeans badly

Is that a joke?

I think, as often happens, because some people are aware of situations where an au pair is being exploited then there are sweeping statements about how awful au pairing is.

Plenty of au pairs have a great experience! Plenty are treated well. As with many many other situations there are some incidences of bad experience but it can and does work well in many cases.