To tell my friend to ‘F off’

[Kaia20]

I’ve been going through a really rough time lately, as we all have. Mine included the end of my marriage and I really just felt like during the worst (so far) of that I’ve had nobody to talk to. Maybe a lot of that was down to me as I stopped reaching out to people for support but they knew my situation and didn’t reach out to see if I was ok. I basically stopped being the first one to call or text and the communication stopped. Not just with this one particular friend, but several people I expected more from.
Not even a ‘happy new year’
Last week I purchased a new (to me) car and my friend noticed. A couple of days later she asked me if I could collect something for her and I said I couldn’t as I was busy. I wasn’t busy. I was annoyed. Since then she has text me a couple of times ‘how are you, kids etc’ and today messaged that ‘luckily you got a car before lockdown’
I ignored it.
It’s really really upset me. She didn’t bother with me at all and it just feels like she wouldn’t have if it wasn’t to do with this car. It not an amazing car it’s a 16 year old banger, so l don’t want to sound like I’m showing off. I find it really hard to explain.
It just feels like now I have become convenient to this person they have made more effort to talk to me.
My mental health hasn’t been the best for a few months now, and I don’t know if that’s playing a part in making me feel this way but all I can’t shake the feeling that a lot of my ‘friends’ aren’t really my friends at all. Am I being unreasonable?

Sorry to hear about your tough time.

I agree with those who say maintain the friendship, but don’t become her taxi service. If she becomes insistent, then withdraw.

Go back over your texts to see how much you reached out to her too. She may be feeling exactly the same as you do.
She may be having way bigger problems than you too.

She may also have thought because she hasn’t heard from you then you want to be left alone.

She could also just be a user and only contacts you when you want something.

It’s a really tricky one OP I wouldn’t do her any favours but then I wouldn’t fall out with her either. Just be civil and now look at your friendship with fresh eyes and see if she’s always asking you for favours and it’s too one sided.

I think you are down and generally looking at things negatively. Our friends aren't perfect and neither are we, but sometimes they are worth it.

See, I'm quite forgiving of people who have drifted during the pandemic - we've all had our own problems.

However, the car comment gets my hackles up... it suggests she's just trying to make small talk until you grant her the favour of picking something up in your car.

Was she a good friend to you before Covid?

Since then she has text me a couple of times ‘how are you, kids etc
OP - trust your gut...and sometimes actions speak louder than words....

You don't 'owe' her a reply or anything else.
Yea, everyone is busy and has their own stuff going on - however....like you said - you stopped initiating contact and you realised where you stand with these people.

Personally, if i was treated like that, and then received that kind of communication/text.....i wouldn't have any issue with being assertive and keeping my boundaries.
It's not like she even made any acknowledgment of what she knows ...she just made a blase/generic/perfunctory comment to worm her way back in to cadge favours off you.........