Key worker? Genuinely confused now Aibu and not realising it?!

[BestJamInTheVillage]

I’ve been offered a place for my twins year 1 to go to school starting tomorrow.
My husband works in transport and is out of the home- I work for the council dealing with vulnerable people. Part of that is safeguarding and domestic abuse situations. I am working from home but the nature of the work is very delicate and I’m
Either on the phone or in virtual meetings with other professionals and service users.
Some people on the mums WhatsApp group have made pointed comments about ‘if you can work from home you shouldn’t be using a space’ etc but i don’t think I’m being unreasonable sending kids in.
I can’t have them running playing whilst I’m doing this work, obviously family can’t help out and I’d be forced to put the kids in front of their iPads etc for entertainment.
The WhatsApp guilt is making feel shitty

Goodness, of course you should have a place.

The CAMHS person who carried out my sons ADHD assessment online via video call and did a follow up consultation was working from home but I wouldn't have liked to think she'd had kids in the room with her at the time.

And I wouldn't mute the chat, I'd answer them

,"If you're an home am day of course you should keep them with you"
"It isn't appropriate for them to be in the room whilst I'm taking to clients about abuse and safeguarding issues. Or isn't appropriate to ignore tell 5 year olds for 4 hours a day. Are you offering to form a childcare bubble and have them?

I assume they are just due along generally not really you? Unless you’ve asked on there?

Anyway just ignore it and take the place.

In my experience those who shout the loudest are the ones flouting all the rules.

in my experience it's parents at breaking point who are hanging on their job by a thread, working around their kids at all hours.

Having teachers employed to educate children who should be at home, instead of teacher educating the majority remotely is a waste of resources, and put the bubbles of workers who do NEED the space at risk

Utterly selfish. If you WFH, you should keep your kids. That's what most parents have to do anyway.

Or isn't appropriate to ignore tell 5 year olds for 4 hours a day.

I am not sure it's terribly appropriate to say that to a parent who has to do exactly that... But it's ok for them, not for you that's what you mean...

Not sure what I put there.. but meant just chatting generally

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

In my experience those who shout the loudest are the ones flouting all the rules.

in my experience it's parents at breaking point who are hanging on their job by a thread, working around their kids at all hours.

Having teachers employed to educate children who should be at home, instead of teacher educating the majority remotely is a waste of resources, and put the bubbles of workers who do NEED the space at risk

Utterly selfish. If you WFH, you should keep your kids. That's what most parents have to do anyway.

I hope that you are never in the awful l situation where you are being advised how to flee domestic violence or where your social worker is discussing whether your children are safe or not in the family home with colleagues on a zoom meeting with someone else's children in the room.

Agree with the majority of posters I don't think you would be able to do your job with them there. Dealing confidential , possible harrowing situations is not an environment children should be in at all. Ignore the chat, they don't know the circumstances and you shouldn't have to justify yourself.

Ignore the comments. Some people are even spiteful and sanctimonious in a pandemic.

We have just been offered a place at school for our youngest, and wondered whether we should accept - not wanting to take the mickey .

You sound like you need the place. We’ve had a sahp asking for a place because they find it tricky with 2 chn at home!

Every school makes different decisions about what children they can accommodate. It depends on how many requests, staffing levels and bubble sizes.
At our school you would get places as our headteacher would see your partner and possibly you as a keyworker. The school down the road from us wouldn't take your children as one of you is working from home. If you have been offered the places then you qualify at your school, take them without guilt.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

Or isn't appropriate to ignore tell 5 year olds for 4 hours a day.

I am not sure it's terribly appropriate to say that to a parent who has to do exactly that... But it's ok for them, not for you that's what you mean...

No I'm saying I'm some jobs it isn't inappropriate to have them in the background. I've called people and the message has been along the "people working from home, family noise, kids, do not complain they're doing their best" and so I accept my banking enquiry might get interrupted. No so much my emotional detailing of domestic abuse. I accept I might have worked it badly but that's what I meant.

You're definitely right to send your kids in.
I'd struggle not to tell them all to get their heads out their arses.

If you can keep them home then do, after all that is why we are in lockdown. Kids mixing could possibly bring the virus to your home and remember that some keyworker chn have parents in frontline jobs in care and NHS so may be more likely to have the virus.

That’s not to op, but in general btw. Op you are a keyworker.

You’re entitled to take the place then do so.
I’m a key worker, found out this afternoon I’ll only be working 3 days next week, but am I still sending my kids in for all 5 days? Damn right I am. And I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks (plus as I am contracted 5 days I can be called in at any time really).
Don’t feel guilty at all. My advice is mute the whatsapp group

No you are not. You're entitled to a place so use it. What other people think is irrelevant.

I've never known people be so judgmental and selfish as the last few months. You must have confidentiality issues with your work so I think it is reasonable. Maybe ask them how they'd feel if their domestic abuse was being discussed in front of five year olds. Or on the other hand would they like their five year old listening to that?

I’m really surprised that someone who sounds like such a capable professional doing a very hard job would give a rat’s arse about a Mums’ WhatsApp group!

Mute it or leave it, send the child to school and do what you need to do. And thank you for doing a vital job that few people would have the ability or dedication to do.

It could be very dangerous for a vulnerable person if you made a mistake or were unable to do your job properly. The fact you can do it while physically at home is neither here nor there.

@Comefromaway Agree. I have been in safeguarding meetings where children have been present and it just isn’t appropriate. I can occasionally wfh but when I have these meetings DH is wfh to look after the children so I don’t get disturbed.
As I said OP ignore those complaining, you are entitled and need the school place.

The people on WhatsApp group haven't a clue what it is like to work from home and have young children around. Pay no attention to them or, better still, leave WhatsApp alone.

I have been given a place for my twins that are year 1, I really didn’t know if I should apply as my partner is at home but I’m in the office, that said we have a severely autistic son that is home (yes special schools aren’t open and the vulnerable kids aren’t at school as everyone thinks!) he also has our year 7 son to supervise getting him to work online which in itself is going to be a challenge until he is in the routine of doing, last time we kept them at home for the majority of lockdown and it was hard this time I can’t face that.

You are absolutley not being unreasonable OP! I had to speak to someone during the first lockdown via video conference about something very private and not at all appropriate for small children to hear, her small child ran into the room where she was during in the call and resulted in me telling her that I was fine (I wasn't) and that nothing was happening because I didn't feel comfortable talking about it when a small child could hear. That wasn't her fault - it is a very difficult situation but I know I wouldn't be the only person to lie in that situation. You deal with very sensitive topics that need to be dealt with sensitivley and privately, you can't do that with a 5 year old running around.

@SleepingStandingUp

And I wouldn't mute the chat, I'd answer them

,"If you're an home am day of course you should keep them with you"
"It isn't appropriate for them to be in the room whilst I'm taking to clients about abuse and safeguarding issues. Or isn't appropriate to ignore tell 5 year olds for 4 hours a day. Are you offering to form a childcare bubble and have them?

I'd vote for this. Utter twats.