Page 2 | To be annoyed at grown ups siblings

screamingchild · 2021-01-05T09:58:59+00:00

Because they are still living 'at home' with both sets of grandparents at the ages of 34, 35 and 37 and going out to work, seeing gf/bf so we can't form a support childcare bubble with either sets. If my parents lived alone, then we'd form a support bubble with them as we can stay isolated and so could they but we can't because there are grown up children still living at home!!!! Annoyed.

beckycharlie · 05/01/2021 10:30

Why should they move out if they don't feel the need to and its not causing your parents any harm? I'm mid 30s and still live at my moms with my 2 kids and it works for us! I couldn't afford a mortgage and dont see the point of paying rent when I could pay my mom to live here.

Shimy · 05/01/2021 10:30

No, not 'childcare' but a short play date with their grandparents once a week or once a fortnight.

Sounds like childcare to me.

Cabinfever10 · 05/01/2021 10:30

So its not even about child care its about you wanting to fudge the rules so your kids can have a play date at your parents
You're not just unreasonable but a massive CF

Original poster

screamingchild · 05/01/2021 10:31

@PimlicoJo

You're not in a different position to anyone else. If you use your parents for childcare it doesn't mean that you can be part of that bubble too. It means they can look after your children. And you can't be in a support bubble unless it's a single person household.

So you can use your parents for childcare if you want, but you personally can't visit them. That's got absolutely nothing to do with your siblings living at home. You wouldn't be able to even if they weren't.

It's just for my kids to spend time with their grandparents for their well-being

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Brighterthansunflowers · 05/01/2021 10:31

As long as your parents are happy with the arrangement, it’s none of your business regardless of whether you think your siblings are taking the piss. So yes you’re still a CFer thinking you and your kids are more entitled to your parents time

Butchyrestingface · 05/01/2021 10:31

My siblings are taking the piss and should have moved out. They are in their mid thirties and still living at home ffs

Have your parents or your siblings said anything to indicate they are unhappy with this arrangement?

There is no law as far as I'm aware that says adult children have to move out by a certain age. I hope your siblings stay there forever.

My dad's cousin was still living in the parental home well into his 50s - in fact, he survived both parents, carried on living there, and eventually died there too. He lived in London, worked in a minimum wage job, and the arrangement suited both him and his parents. Who is any third party to dictate when someone should move out?

Original poster

screamingchild · 05/01/2021 10:32

@Cabinfever10

So its not even about child care its about you wanting to fudge the rules so your kids can have a play date at your parents

You're not just unreasonable but a massive CF

Yes basically. Because I've been following the rules for months and months and not broken them like a load of other people

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Original poster

screamingchild · 05/01/2021 10:33

@Brighterthansunflowers

As long as your parents are happy with the arrangement, it’s none of your business regardless of whether you think your siblings are taking the piss. So yes you’re still a CFer thinking you and your kids are more entitled to your parents time

Yes they want them to move out but won't push them because is 'a new job' or 'child starting bursary' or 'Xmas' or whatever the next excuse is

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bluebeck · 05/01/2021 10:34

YABVU.

You want your siblings to move out so your DC can have a play date with your parents? Seriously?

Original poster

screamingchild · 05/01/2021 10:35

Thanks for your replies. I'm going to give my children a big hug now as they've been playing so nicely downstairs. I'm going to be the best mum/home schooler I can be and give them the attention they deserve. I might arrange a socially distanced walk with grandparents.

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Hollyoakswatcher · 05/01/2021 10:36

So instead of being pleased that your parents aren’t isolated and lonely during this time, like many of our parents and grandparents, you want us to agree with you that they should be so that you can have some childcare 🤔.

YABU and sound more entitled than you are trying to make out your siblings are.

LittleTiger007 · 05/01/2021 10:37

@PimlicoJo

You're not in a different position to anyone else. If you use your parents for childcare it doesn't mean that you can be part of that bubble too. It means they can look after your children. And you can't be in a support bubble unless it's a single person household.

So you can use your parents for childcare if you want, but you personally can't visit them. That's got absolutely nothing to do with your siblings living at home. You wouldn't be able to even if they weren't.

This. I can’t visit my parents. When my baby is born they can’t visit or hold her. It sucks, it REALLY does, but it’s nobody’s fault.

LindaEllen · 05/01/2021 10:44

My 25yo brother still lives at home meaning my mum isn't eligible for a bubble. I've not hugged her since last March. It's never crossed my mind to be annoyed at my brother about this.
I suggest you cope the best way you can, but ultimately mind your own business.

doodleygirl · 05/01/2021 10:44

This is ludicrous, you are actually pissed off your sibling and sibling in law live at home for the reason of your childcare. Surely its up to your parents and parents in law who they live with.

You sound particularly petulant.

MaverickDanger · 05/01/2021 10:46

@LittleTiger007 - is that your choice that they don’t visit or hold her?

You are allowed to bubble for children under 1 to provide support.

Yorkshirepudding1987 · 05/01/2021 10:47

@LittleTiger007 just incase you didn't know you can form a support bubble with your parents when your baby is born, under the baby under the age of 1 rules. Neither household needs to have only one adult for this bubble.

PimlicoJo · 05/01/2021 10:47

Screamingchild I do sympathise with how hard and frustrating this is. It's tough.

Bluesmartiesandpandapop · 05/01/2021 10:48

Childcare bubbles are for childcare only though and not just visiting. You wouldn't be eligible to make a support bubble with them anyway as I don't think you'd meet the criteria? So even if the grown up siblings didn't live there you wouldn't see the GPs either and everyone would be lonelier. Do you just want everyone to suffer because you are suffering?

Dissillusioned · 05/01/2021 10:49

I'll go against the grain and say YANBU. They are all in their 30's! And still live at home.
I know at least 4 friends like this and they are still at home, not as company for the parents but because they have it so good in that they can enjoy most of their wages to themselves, get their cooking and washing and ironing done and have literally zero responsibilities.
Mine will certainly not still be living at home at that age! It's bloody weird.

Schehezarade · 05/01/2021 10:51

If the adult kids are 30s the parents are 50/60s - hardly lonely isolated and decrepit. And if they are over 60s the live in kids with gf/ bf and kids at school ARE putting them at risk of covid .

Apollo3 · 05/01/2021 10:51

No, not 'childcare' but a short play date with their grandparents once a week or once a fortnight

So you would like people to move out of their homes in the middle of a pandemic lockdown so your children can see their grandparents for half an hour every 2 weeks?

Are you for fucking real?

Bluesmartiesandpandapop · 05/01/2021 10:52

Also following the rules so far does not give you license to break them now. I think there are far more people who break the rules occasionally than those who break them constantly, and it's all these minor rule breaks that add up to the major problem.

unmarkedbythat · 05/01/2021 10:58

We really, really need a popcorn smiley

ancientgran · 05/01/2021 11:00

So basically you want your parents, your husband's parents and your sibling and his siblings to all live in a way that suits you? Perfectly reasonable.

HavelockVetinari · 05/01/2021 11:01

@VodselForDinner

So you want your parents and siblings to not live together (a situation that I’d imagine suits all parties) so you can have free childcare?

Cheeky fuckery is alive and well.

^ This. You are a massive CF!