To complain DD’s head when schools are struggling, and teachers are frazzled

[PointySetter]

I can see that last term was an incredibly difficult time for teachers, and while I did email some concerns last term - I don’t feel I was given satisfactory responses. Schools are now closed, so I wondered if I should put in a more serious/formal complaint - or just give the school a break.

My main concern is about the safety/wellbeing of the children. New arrangement for drop and pick up of children has led to the following situation. There is a car park next to the school which parents use. As children are released at pick up time, children (Yr5) are released into the road serving the car park. The cars aren’t driving at speed, but I’ve seen 4 or 5 children run out in front of a car to their parent who is waiting on the opposite side of the road. I complained, and the heads response was to say that - as the children are older - and allowed to walk home independently - once the child has been dismissed, it’s the parents responsibility. However the teacher dismisses the child into the road, and the child (excitedly) runs across the road to their parents. The school (begrudgingly) then asked parents to not wait across the road after my complaint, but towards the end of term it was happening again.

My next concern is that my daughter was absent twice last term. One was a lengthy absence, and I needed authorisation - but I got not response until I promoted about 3 days later. Later in the term I emailed a second absence - however again I received no acknowledgement of my email. My concern is that if my daughter was walking to school, and didn’t arrive - and need the security of knowing that an absences are acknowledged by the school.
My third concern is that she has a reading record book, which I believe is supposed to be a two way communication, but is never - or rarely written in. I wrote a note in the book stating that my daughter had already received a flu jab, and wasn’t on the list to have one at school. There was no tick/response to my comment. My daughter asked a question in the book about her story - again no response. Book titles, page numbers, comments are only written by my daughters. Throughout her time at the school, I’ve only viewed her school books twice, and we never visit the classrooms to see displays etc (precovid times) as parent evenings are held in an office with no opportunity to view books/work. Should I complain?

In our school the reading records go straight into a box. They have to stay in there for at least 3 days according to policy so that the risk of home-school transmission can be reduced.

Important messages don't go into reading records. Something like that would be for the school office to deal with as they're the ones with full access to the child's information.

My DC's primary school have never had parents evenings in classrooms. It's much safer for the staff if they are held in an environment where they and the parents can be easily seen by others. It means that if a parent kicks off or a teacher needs to be 'rescued' from the parent who is still talking 15 minutes after their appointment slot has ended, another member of staff can help them.

Books used to be put out for parents to look at but there were issues with some parents looking at other children's books to compare, and others trying to take the books home. When asked (nicely) to leave them on the table, the parents would say that it was okay as they would send them back to school the next day(!).

The parents at your school need to be taking some responsibility for their child's safety. They've been asked not to wait across the road but are still doing that. And if cars have to brake sharply outside a school, parents could contact their local authority to request better road safety measures. I know that a couple of the local schools were able to successfully campaign for their stretch of road to be reduced to a 20mph zone because cars were going too fast.

Some people just love moaning.
I can't imagine the complaint the school would get if your child actually caught covid.

As I'm reading more of your comments OP, I'm struggling to believe this a serious post.

If your child isn't looking before crossing then you need to wait on the side of the road that they are dismissed to. I get that kids can be scatty and forget but it's a skill that they need to nail before they start travelling to school alone and cross the road to walk with friends.

The other stuff can wait. If you want acknowledgment that they received your email add a read receipt or phone the office.

Seeing her books is something that can wait until Covid is more under control so you can wait until the summertime or beyond.

NHS is currently jabbing 300k a week but needs to go up to 2 million a week to hit the target. He was clear that Feb was a very best case scenario so I wouldn't hold your breath about that deadline.

I think the car issue and that children are being dismissed onto a road is a legitimate concern and not just only the parents' problem. The school should want to do everything it can to avoid a child getting hurt and it is the school's responsibility to select a safe dismissal point. I don't consider it petty to raise that when the DC return to school.
Again, when things are normal it's also fair to expect teachers to keep up with reading records and acknowledge parents' comments, but again not now.
It doesn't sound like a particularly caring school.
Just to add that although for a lot of teachers, they are under great pressure right now, during the first lockdown there were some schools that did absolutely nothing in terms of provision for education. Not all teachers have been flat out for 9 months.

@PointySetter

I’m amazed that you all think - having sorted your child out with Christmas outfit, learned their words, practised singing with them - to be then sent a video of them performing with clip art over their face - is perfectly fine. And no, it was not a video permission decline as I’ve explained earlier...

Yeah that is crazy..what were they thinking?!

God OP. Your problems are ball-achingly first world.

@PicaK

Reverse? Are u actually a head who had this to deal with yesterday? I could well believe it. if you did.

Yes!

Reading records are not the forum to write messages to staff. As they are not checked (regularly). So your flu jab message should have been emailed directly to the office. We had to give online permission by the local nhs for the flu jab.

Banner is for safeguarding issue, obviously they didn't get permission to record all (some) children faces so the banner did this. Though I agree what's the point!

What do you want the school to do about the road situation?

I'm sure school know if your child is there or not, as they legally have to do the register each day. And if they aren't there and no message from you, they will email and call to ask why they aren't!

OP, with regards to the 'writing comments in the reading book'. Teachers simply don't have time to read and then respond to every single one of those 30 odd children's comments each week. I also found it frustrating, because I would dutifully write a quick feedback sentence after my boys had read their books and rarely had anything written back. I now don't ask questions in them, just a basic comment (x read the books and enjoyed them). It just seems pointless to me thay they have them. Anyway you are in a state school and this is just how it is. Unfortunately. It was a shock to me at first but now I understand how busy they are..what can you do? Our kids have parent helpers in who read with them. Allegedly.
I wouldn't have mentioned anything about a flu jab though?! Why would you put that in there?

I would leave it, especially now, but accept that long term underfunding of schools (by all governments) is probably at the heart of these things.

The procedure for giving flu sprays in school is very strict. The medical team who come in to school have their own list of children whose parents have given consent. They then want proof that the child standing in front of them matches the name on the list. If possible they prefer to see the photo in the child's school record as further evidence. If there's any doubt, no spray will be given.

It's not a case of spraying every child unless a parent refuses.

@PointySetter

So the situation is - teacher is waiting with child one side of the road, teacher sees parent on other side of the road. Says goodbye to child, and child runs in front of car because they have seen their parents. The child doesn’t check as they cross.

That is down to parent/s to instil road sense into their children. Stop. Look each way. Listen for engines {If not deaf} If all clear, walk across.

Blindly dashing is what a toddler might do.

I understand it can be frustrating but I would leave all of this.
As for not writing in the book, at the moment they aren't allowed to handle papers etc of students due to covid restrictions. My DP is a teacher and despite it looking like they might not have much to do with schools being closed for most he is completely overwhelmed and inundated with emails, calls, meetings and working a while curricullum for online learning etc.
Leave this for now. There are more important things to worry about.
The teacher seem to.only find out what is happening when we do on the news and press releases, they have had no time to prepare anything, and simply cannot answer most parents questions as they are much in the dark as the rest of us!

I can’t get my head around the fact that you are a teacher OP. Surely you should know better that the issues you are complaining about are non-issues. So strange to think the school would pay a receptionist to respond to emails to say child won’t be attending - they would just mark it as authorised absence- why follow it up? That is such a waste of ‘man’ hours. If you were a teacher you would be expected to have a better grasp of the realities of teaching. Also, surely you would know that a book being passed from child to teacher to parent during a pandemic isn’t the best way to communicate to your child’s teacher that they have had the flu jab. From my understanding this is a reading record so why are you scribbling messages about flu jabs in that? It’s not appropriate, communicate that in an email so you have a paper trail. If the child lost the book and ended up getting the jab twice would you blame the school for not getting your message? No one would think to check reading record for information like this, it’s almost like you are trying to catch the teacher out.

1. You’ve already mentioned it to school. Not your problem anymore
2. They should have got back to you and have acknowledged this
3. Reading records are not for writing messages to the teachers
4. Banner on video is odd but done now. Little point in making a fuss about

Give the school a break!!! Honestly, you sound really intense.

If this isnt a wind up (which I suspect it is), YABU.

No not a reverse!! Although I am a (not working) teacher myself, and I used to get petty complaints all the time. So I’m clearly turning into ‘that mum’

Yes you are OP. You are also massively out of touch and your timing is embarrassing.

Yep very real, but I just simply wouldn’t do these things as a teacher! I just wouldn’t! I worked in a private school though, and the parents would have simply exploded if I’d sent home a video of their child performing with a banner over their face...

No doubt you had to deal with plenty of idiots when you worked OP.
Complaining about stuff like this on the very day the Government drops lockdown 3 on schools would be outrageous even by their standards OP.

Can't see a problem with any of that. Children running across the road is the parents problem, nothing to do with school.
The absence thing doesn't sound like a lot of time had passed and a child just not turning up is very different to a parent saying they'll be off. Reading record don't think either 6my children got their book written in after about Y3. Bit rubbish to never see your child's work but I'd have mentioned that pre Covid. You won't be having parents evening for a while now.
Schools and teachers are going to be manic and stressed at the moment. Don't bother them with non issues.

Really?!?! Really?!?! Omg

No.

You need to chill.

None of the things you've listed are appropriate to write to the school about - either because they are not something the school can deal with or because they're so small they indicate a worrying lack of perspective.

So that raises the issue of why it's stressing you so much.

I'm guessing you're stressed and this is displacement.

That's OK.

We're all stressed. It's horrible at the moment.

I think you should take this as your mind giving you a little shake and asking for conscious attention and self-care.

Self-care gets a bad reputation - but I really think you need to do this fir yourself.

My guess is that mindfulness and journaling/some kind of creative 'noticing' would work for you.

For example: 15 minutes in the morning, where you choose one thing you see/hear and try and write a description of it.

I'm not being sarcastic or horrible - I think your post is darned neat ideational/fixed thinking. I think you're stressed. And I think a bit of comfort from somewhere is what you need.

1. Parents need to take responsibility for teaching their child to cross the road, teachers can’t watch each individual child cross the road.
2. An email sent about absence does not need an acknowledgment. It would be wasting office staff time to respond to every single email that didn’t need a response.
3. The Reading Record is just that - a record of what they are reading, it’s not a Home School communication book. If you need to let school know about something, contact them directly.

I think you're stressed. And I think a bit of comfort from somewhere is what you need.

Either that or the OP is one hell of an entitled T#%$.

All points that need raising and definitely worth sending an email into Head/requesting a phone meeting to discuss but not formal right now.

Formal complaints should only be made after issues have been discussed with the Head and not been satisfactorily dealt with.

They have a lot on their plates at the moment and although it looks like they need to improve communication with parents I doubt your concerns would make it to the top of any Head's priority list right now.

Not today, but maybe you could look into the School Street Initiative: they have it at our school and it's so much better now.
schoolstreets.org.uk/