To complain DD’s head when schools are struggling, and teachers are frazzled

[PointySetter]

I can see that last term was an incredibly difficult time for teachers, and while I did email some concerns last term - I don’t feel I was given satisfactory responses. Schools are now closed, so I wondered if I should put in a more serious/formal complaint - or just give the school a break.

My main concern is about the safety/wellbeing of the children. New arrangement for drop and pick up of children has led to the following situation. There is a car park next to the school which parents use. As children are released at pick up time, children (Yr5) are released into the road serving the car park. The cars aren’t driving at speed, but I’ve seen 4 or 5 children run out in front of a car to their parent who is waiting on the opposite side of the road. I complained, and the heads response was to say that - as the children are older - and allowed to walk home independently - once the child has been dismissed, it’s the parents responsibility. However the teacher dismisses the child into the road, and the child (excitedly) runs across the road to their parents. The school (begrudgingly) then asked parents to not wait across the road after my complaint, but towards the end of term it was happening again.

My next concern is that my daughter was absent twice last term. One was a lengthy absence, and I needed authorisation - but I got not response until I promoted about 3 days later. Later in the term I emailed a second absence - however again I received no acknowledgement of my email. My concern is that if my daughter was walking to school, and didn’t arrive - and need the security of knowing that an absences are acknowledged by the school.
My third concern is that she has a reading record book, which I believe is supposed to be a two way communication, but is never - or rarely written in. I wrote a note in the book stating that my daughter had already received a flu jab, and wasn’t on the list to have one at school. There was no tick/response to my comment. My daughter asked a question in the book about her story - again no response. Book titles, page numbers, comments are only written by my daughters. Throughout her time at the school, I’ve only viewed her school books twice, and we never visit the classrooms to see displays etc (precovid times) as parent evenings are held in an office with no opportunity to view books/work. Should I complain?

Yesterday one of our teachers was teaching all day from home. One parent emailed 3 times asking for special treatment for little Johnny whilst complaining that he was getting through his work too quickly ( he hadn't actually completed it all.)
The teacher taught and marked and planned and commented and ran Meets all day, having only been told with no working days notice that learning would be remote. By 4pm she was in tears because of the parents- the children who went online ( most of the class) were engaged and learning all day.
Please do not email the school with your petty criticisms at this point in time. Teachers have long memories- we still talk about the bonkers, entitled parents and their unreasonable demands years after their children have left the school.
In your case, the school have already explained why the children's behaviour is their parents responsibility outside school and you are refusing to accept that. Would you like the teachers to act as crossing patrol as well as their usual duties? If you are really bothered, why don't you organise parents into a road crossing rota?
And have some thought for others.

@PointySetter

I’m amazed that you all think - having sorted your child out with Christmas outfit, learned their words, practised singing with them - to be then sent a video of them performing with clip art over their face - is perfectly fine. And no, it was not a video permission decline as I’ve explained earlier...

It's not ideal. But your lack of understanding is astounding.

The road safety issue is important and you could write to the HT when schools are given the go ahead to reopen and it could potentially become an issue again.

As for the reading log book query and your other gripe... I’m sorry to say that if you raise these issues with the school now you will just be broadcasting to the whole school how embarrassingly unaware you are of the current climate in education.

@PointySetter

TBH it is a bit rubbish. Although I accept that I am being moany. The other thing that grated me was they released an Xmas video where they had added a clip art banner that completely obscured the faces of the children performing. Not just for a couple of seconds - but for the child’s whole performance.

Ok I tried to be polite in my last response but you are being unreasonable and a moaner. Stop not picking at your child's school over tiny unimportant things. You will both have a much happier school experience if you learn to let things go.

OP get yourself a high vis coat, get the kids doing a lollipop project and use all this time you've got on your hands doing crossing patrols
If you could hear kids read as they crossed that'd be amazing 👍
If you could tell at the top of your voice the name of every child that would help with the absence or attendance issues.
Good points well made OP get out there and give it your all 👍

Seriously, just stop.

On Mumsnet teachers must never, ever be the subject of a complaint. It sounds low level shit, OP, but I would leave it until after lockdown. In the mean time I would contact the council about the need for a zebra crossing...

@PointySetter
I am friendly with several of my child’s friends’ parents (see them socially as well as lots of play dates in normal times). None of them knows that my child is adopted and that there are safeguarding issues that won’t affect most others. I have no intention of telling them as it’s none of their business.

How old is your dd? My dd's school isn't updating reading records or home books as they want to minimise passing books and material on. Also as a child is ks2, she is a fluent reader so l don't need reassurance that she is reading at school. Is your daughter struggling with it? I am sure she is doing it at school but they are probably trying to play catchup rather than updating books which takes forever!

TBH it is a bit rubbish. Although I accept that I am being moany. The other thing that grated me was they released an Xmas video where they had added a clip art banner that completely obscured the faces of the children performing. Not just for a couple of seconds - but for the child’s whole performance.

Are you actually taking the piss now OP?
What is wrong with you?

Ok so you’re ignoring my sensible suggestion to the one actual issue.

Why can't the parents wait on the playground?

Pointysetter this issue is self resolving.

There is no point emailing the teachers now as they won't be able to resolve anything until after February.

Whatever anyone says on this thread, if you still feel concerned about these issues in 6 weeks, you will know whether you think they are worth raising with teachers.

Read the room op

I’m afraid you really are ‘that’ parent. It’s a parent's responsibility to ensure their child can cross the road safely - get out of your bloody car and supervise them! Tell the parents, not the Head.
You emailed about attendance - why did you expect a response? If your dd fails to arrive at school without being notified, school will phone the first point of contact.
Reading records - we are not actually using reading records at the moment due to possible cross contamination. I’m assuming that if your dd is able to write in her reading record, then she can actually read?
If you had an issue about the flu jab, just phone the office.
The classroom is for the children, not the parents. Why would you want to see the displays? Are you checking up that they are nicely done?
Go ahead, complain all you like. I can imagine there’ll be plenty of eye rolling. If you’re so dissatisfied with the school, have a look for a different one.

*I’m amazed that you all think - having sorted your child out with Christmas outfit, learned their words, practised singing with them - to be then sent a video of them performing with clip art over their face - is perfectly fine. And no, it was not a video permission decline as I’ve explained earlier
The point of the Christmas outfit, learning words, practising singing etc is to take part in an activity. A video would have been an extra. Ok so it didn't work out well but come on, its not a bug deal.
I would bet even if you had the video you would watch it once and it would be forgotten about!!!
In the scheme of things uts not a big deal.
Please use this opportunity to have a break from thinking about petty issues to moan about.

It's going to be a tough time for everyone without you pilling more crap on.

In the mean time I would contact the council about the need for a zebra crossing...
Yeah, give the school a break and start haranguing the council!!
Seriously why would the council consider a crossing if this is a temporary arrangement to get through a pandemic.
We are talking about children in year 5 who know not to run into a road. They would have known that for years by now.

To be honest, these are all valid complaints (of varying importance though)apart from the flu jab and the video.
I have been teaching for 25 years and currently work in a private school.
However, I REALLY wouldn't bring these up until we are back in school. And I would stagger them, perhaps starting with absence/parking, or else you will become That Parent. You may already be That Parent.

Sounds like there's lots of thoughts taking over for you op.

Moving on to the next issue, then the next.

I'm messaging to suggest it'd be reasonable to work on filtering before it takes over.

You sound very well intentioned but in danger of wasting your energy.

You're lucky your child was allowed to take part in a Christmas performance at all. Singing in school has been banned due to covid where we are. I suspect some poor stressed member of staff was given the job of making the video. Maybe a bit frazzled with Christmas, worsening situation re covid, not knowing what the situation with schools would be in Jan... who knows. Maybe personal worries and issues? Maybe not. Then the pressure of the video under time constraints and they made a mistake. Maybe it wasn't noticed till it was released. I would think it's a pretty all thing to get uptight about in the middle of a global pandemic and as you say you see all the kids later in the video.
You could maybe use lockdown to get in touch with the LA and parents groups regarding road safety and do something as a parent and member of the community to help with that issue.
Think other posters have explained reasons behind the others.
Please stop being THAT parent.

The flu immunisation thing is bizarre.

The only way that you dd would receive a flu immunisation at school is if you had completed and returned the permission form.

Which you didn't as she'd received it elsewhere.

Oh pack it in will you! Don’t make mountains out of molehills

Regarding the reading record, we aren't allowed to touch them at the moment due to the risk of cross contamination.

The rest is honestly nothing.

Dear lord and you used to be a teacher. Even someone not having had that experience can see you are being petty and a pita.

Has it occurred to you that maybe reading records are not touched by teachers as regularly this year? My dn is having hers checked once a week.

You are being very petty and if that’s all you are worried about you should be happy.

I'm embarrassed for you.