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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how this person qualified for free school meals

116 replies

Sectionsofintercost · 05/01/2021 01:38

Someone at work bought a house which is being extended before they move in, the pandemic has put the brakes on the moving in but she shares photos of what's being done to the house.

It was purchased over a year ago in order for them to get their child into the secondary school catchment.

I'm not sure where exactly they live now, if they're renting or own that house as well.

A few months ago she let slip that her daughter in yr7 is on free school meals. It's likely that her husband lost income due to the pandemic, he's self employed. I can see that would have impacted on their finances
I get full housing benefit but don't qualify for free school meals.

I am happy to pay for my DCs food at school as there are others much worse off than me but I would love to be able to afford the long term security of owning my own home. I think something dodgy must be going on.

OP posts:
thosetalesofunexpected · 05/01/2021 06:58

Hi Op
If you don't Ask,You don't Get.!!😕

I would be a bit cheeky and just ask how she is entitled to this for her child ?and how she went about?

I get how you feel, I would feel a bit miffed that someone in her position was entitled to their child receiving free school meals too,

Or
Ask the your child's school what are the Criteria benefits to be entitlement for school meals then?

Get in touch with C.A.B)Citzens Advice bureau Agency tel no online, to find out about this too,if no luck with the school finding out this.

ArosAdraDrosDolig · 05/01/2021 07:00

You actually mentioned to your colleague about free school meals when they were working overtime?

Ask them to return your nose if they find it, as you lost it somewhere amongst their business.

ArosAdraDrosDolig · 05/01/2021 07:01

Also have you actually applied for fsm and been turned down?

longwayoff · 05/01/2021 07:02

Wtf to do with you? Have you really not got something else to fill your idle moments with? Awful.

Zakana · 05/01/2021 07:21

@ArosAdraDrosDolig

You actually mentioned to your colleague about free school meals when they were working overtime?

Ask them to return your nose if they find it, as you lost it somewhere amongst their business.

😂😂😂😂
pelosi · 05/01/2021 07:32

I get full housing benefit but don't qualify for free school meals.

I would love to be able to afford the long term security of owning my own home.*

I would love to get full housing benefit, OP, but hey ho 🤷‍♀️

ivfbeenbusy · 05/01/2021 07:38

Why are you judging them?

You work and are claiming full housing benefit???

SpiderGwen · 05/01/2021 07:45

If they qualify for FSM, as they apparently do, what does it matter to you? Just be glad the child is fed.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 05/01/2021 07:50

None of your business whatsoever. I find it amazing that some MNers are so obsessed with other people's finances.

Dyrne · 05/01/2021 08:00

How weird.

I have absolutely no idea what benefits any of my colleagues are claiming, what their partners/husbands earn, or whether their children qualify for FSM.

Fairly sure this is a wind up tbh - who froths about someone else “cheating” the system but then blithely admits gaming the system by refusing to work extra hours in case it affects their benefit entitlement?

twistedsistersocks · 05/01/2021 08:02

@nebbish11

The most important thing is that those entitled to them still get the equivalent over the next six weeks.

Notable that the autocue read by the Prime Minister last night mentioned this.

Yes. I yelled well done Marcus at the tv when I heard that, the man's a legend.
Bluntness100 · 05/01/2021 08:09

Sounds like you’re just envious. I feel bad for you, that’s not a nice way to feel. It must be fairly all consuming as well if you’re even starting threads on here about it.

Are you generally quite envious of others?

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 05/01/2021 08:10

@Boopeedoop

As long as a child gets a meal at school i don't care how it's funded.
Completely agree. I can’t and don’t begrudge any child getting fed. OP mind your own bloody business and stop assuming the worst about people based on your own skewed ideas about what should be allowed.
Original poster
Sectionsofintercost · 05/01/2021 08:45

Because its not enough the state is paying her rent, she wants more free stuff!

Not at all, I actually said in I don't mind paying for school meals, there are others worse off. I haven't applied for FSM.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sectionsofintercost · 05/01/2021 08:49

It's weird how people here are telling the op to mind her business but were up in arms in a recent thread about someone's friend taking the hump with them as their husband got an extra job while furloughed.
Telling the OP no wonder her friends fallen out with her as it's immoral etc yet here folk are self employed choosing the take a tiny wage etc can get round loopholes in the system and that's ok. hmm

Mumsnet double standards for you..

OP posts:
Margeryprongs · 05/01/2021 08:52

Sounds like you’re just envious. I feel bad for you, that’s not a nice way to feel. It must be fairly all consuming as well if you’re even starting threads on here about it.

Are you generally quite envious of others?

This.

Original poster
Sectionsofintercost · 05/01/2021 08:56

Sounds like you’re just envious. I feel bad for you, that’s not a nice way to feel. It must be fairly all consuming as well if you’re even starting threads on here about it.
Are you generally quite envious of others?

Not at all envious, I have a friend who is in a low paid job on Tax Credits who gets literally pennies in Housing Benefit which I don't understand, she has never been able to get FSM for her child and I know she really struggles to pay rent.

It just seems strange that someone in her situation doesn't qualify for them.

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 05/01/2021 08:56

Not at all, I actually said in I don't mind paying for school meals, there are others worse off. I haven't applied for FSM.

You do know that it’s not a limited pot, don’t you, OP? Someone not applying for FSM that their child is entitled to doesn’t mean there’s more available for everyone else.

CouldBeOuting · 05/01/2021 09:04

@TheLevyEyebrowsFancIub

It was stated by my council that children would keep their free school meal until the end of their current phase of education, i.e. primary or secondary once UC was rolled out (afaik it still isn't fully rolled out?) so perhaps theirs is an older claim? No idea. School meals for two kids costs me 92.80 a month so not cheap, no.
^this

We could have a single parent “Daphne” who qualifies for FSM when her son “Luke” joins our school. One year later “Daphne”, meets “Fred” falls in love and gets married. “Fred” is a multi millionaire. Luke is still eligible for FSM until he changes PHASE (not been place - phase) of education but the daughter Daphne has with Fred will NOT be entitled.

It is important to remember that we do have the option to tick a box that states that while entitled to FSM the parent wishes to pay for the meals. We actually do have one family at our school that do that.

Bluntness100 · 05/01/2021 09:06

@Sectionsofintercost

*It's weird how people here are telling the op to mind her business but were up in arms in a recent thread about someone's friend taking the hump with them as their husband got an extra job while furloughed. Telling the OP no wonder her friends fallen out with her as it's immoral etc yet here folk are self employed choosing the take a tiny wage etc can get round loopholes in the system and that's ok. hmm*

Mumsnet double standards for you..

I don’t get the correlation here, can you explain it? On that thread the male had two jobs and was on one hundred percent salary. He then had taken another job. Posters felt the job could have better went to someone who financially needed it and were not receiving an income.

Free school meals are for people on extremely low income and evidence has to be provided. It is not a limited pot that if this lady takes it, someone else is deprived. She is entitled because their family income is low and they need help to feed their child.

Why do you feel it’s the same thing?

Original poster
Sectionsofintercost · 05/01/2021 09:23

Free school meals are for people on extremely low income and evidence has to be provided. It is not a limited pot that if this lady takes it, someone else is deprived. She is entitled because their family income is low and they need help to feed their child.

Yes, you are right, they must be entitled. Maybe they have generous relatives who helped them buy the house to get their DCs into the oversubscribed secondary school and they are also funding the upgrade of the house.

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 05/01/2021 09:29

Yes, you are right, they must be entitled. Maybe they have generous relatives who helped them buy the house to get their DCs into the oversubscribed secondary school and they are also funding the upgrade of the house.

Regardless of how or why they are entitled to FSM, they clearly are, and are doing nothing wrong. You do yourself no favours being jealous of someone else. It stops you enjoying life.

contrmary · 05/01/2021 09:31

You come across as a hypocrite, it sounds like you are bitter that the little bit of money being spent on them would be better coming to you. Spend your energy on getting yourself off benefits before complaining about other people taking ones they are entitled to.

Kitsmummy · 05/01/2021 09:37

It is entirely true that old free school meal claims will roll on for a few years after you stop claiming them. I know this because both my children got FSM when I divorced. I then cancelled that claim over 2 years ago...have notified both my children's schools on at least 3 separate occasions but the FSM keep being reinstated with the reason being that as the government made such a cock up with Universal Credit, this is a bit of a sweetener/bonus for those that received FSM.

I'm also sent food vouchers during holiday and lockdown so I just use them to buy food for the food banks now!

Bluntness100 · 05/01/2021 09:40

Yes, you are right, they must be entitled. Maybe they have generous relatives who helped them buy the house to get their DCs into the oversubscribed secondary school and they are also funding the upgrade of the house

Or these things were paid for before. And now their income has dropped.

One thing not to be envious of op is the fact someone needs help to feed their child. The fact you’re envious rhey own their own home shouldn’t change that.