To not tell my boss what the procedure is?

[radiateforme]

I spoke to my boss today to tell him that I might need a week or so off after an urgent procedure I need done in next couple of weeks. Might only be a couple of days but don't know how I will feel after a GA. It's a hysteroscopy and polypectomy + biopsy to check it isn't cancer. I don't really see why he needs to know exactly what I'm having done but he's insisting I tell him. I've said I'm happy to speak to occupational health, I work from home behind a computer so not strenuous. Just don't see why he needs to know. I'm really anxious so this may be clouding my judgement. AIBU to just tell him it's not a major op and would rather keep details to myself?

I had a very similar procedure and said to my boss that I was have gynaecological treatment and could provide a letter from the hospital if needed. He didn't want to see it. I think the g word freaked him out. Quite pathetic.

No need to tell him specifics. You can self certify for a week anyway and if you need more time than that, the GP can be non specific on a “fit to work” note. But as others have said, if you feel comfortable to say it’s gynae related, that shuts most people up.
Good luck with your procedure and I’d recommend taking all the time you need to recover afterwards. It’s not a competition to get back to work ASAP after a GA - just take the time you need. Work will always be there waiting for you. Your health is more important.

He has no legal right to know. Just keep repeating surgery under GA and post surgical recovery, and say you can provide a letter if needed.

Maybe he's asking in case it's cosmetic surgery? As many workplaces won't allow sick leave for that, you'd need to take annual leave.

Just tell him it's a gynaecological non-elective procedure and you won't be sharing further details.

@blueshoes

Are you able to get a GP note for the week or so that you need off?

How did you decide you need a week to recover from GA. If it is not a major op, a week is a long time.

After the last general anaesthetic I had, I felt drunk for the best part of two weeks. There was no way I could have concentrated on work.

Maybe the OP knows her own body?

OP should wait until after she has had the procedure to get a medical note on how long she needs, not speculate now as to the longest amount of time off she needs to recover. It is GA but not major surgery.

First I would ask him why he needs or wants to know. Then depending on the answer:

If your Boss is a trustworthy, discreet, helpful man I probably would tell him.

If he is a controlling, nosey gossip I probably wouldn't.

You don't have to tell him, but he's not necessarily just being nosey in asking.

1. you may need support from the business, phased return etc
2. he has a duty of care to ensure you are fit to work when you return, particularly hard when wfh and he doesn't know the reason for absence
3. he would prefer to know all of the above so he can make a plan for covering workload etc with the rest of the team
4. it may be you are having cosmetic surgery in which case you may not be entitled to sick pay

Etc. Etc. Probably all sorted in a short conversation if he's normally reasonable, but you know him not us.

Many businesses don't have money to splash on occ health at the moment if they aren't sure it's necessary.

As you can self certify for 7 calender days you don't need a doctors note. As you reason for absence you can just put post surgery recovery. That can then be given to your boss who can hand into payroll/hr/oh.
Only if you need more than u days off will you get a drs note/fit note.
If you don't have an excessive absence record it is very unlikely your hr/oh dept will ask for a copy of your med records and your boss doesn't need to know the exact reason, just post op recovery is sufficient.
What j will say though is it doesn't seem like you have a good relationship with your boss to be so guarded. I am open with my manager and my team are open with me. There is trust and respect on all sides which you don't seem to have at your workplace.
Hope your op goes well and your recovery is quick.

Provide copies of the appointment/procedure letters but black out the details of the procedure. Simple. I understand why you wouldn’t want to tell him but from a manager point of view they can’t just trust peoples word when they say they need time off.

@Feelingpoorlysick

It's not unreasonable to not tell him but personally I wouldn't have a problem with doing so. And just for reassurance, I had a hysteroscopy and biopsy and was able to go back to work the day after. Only slight discomfort, no pain really.

Me too. Both times.

Tell your boss it’s an Invasive female procedure. Hopefully he will feel mortified.

@Feelingpoorlysick Mine is still legend with previous work colleagues. I went back to work the day after. Felt completely fine.... because it turned out I was totally HIGH!!! After about an hour in the office, my boss called me in, suggested I go home, preferably in a taxi (paid for by the company) and said if I insisted on working, to ONLY email people on my team. Apparently I'd been sending out complete gobbledly gook since I'd arrived in the office!! They took the piss out of me for WEEKS about that.

Did he ask? Assuming you have the relevant sick note to give to HR or occupational health, shouldn't be required to disclose details.

[quote QueenPawPaws]@Dee1975 any mention of periods and my boss (despite being fairly young, married and with kids) goes green and backs off. I cried once at work (PMT, shit day) and he came back and practically threw a Starbucks and brownie at me. Unlucky for him he has an all female team![/quote]
Aw I actually think that's really nice and quite thoughtful!

It doesn’t sound like you’ve considered having to isolate before and after the procedure if you’re in the UK
It can be anything from 3 days to 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after a GA
Good luck with your op

None of his business and tell him that.

I’m quite amazed at the number of people who think you can just not go to work and provide no reason or explanation to your boss. If the relationship is difficult talk to HR. This is absolutely not something for occupational health to be involved in, it’s not what they are for and even if you did go through them they would produce a report.. THAT WOULD BE SHARED WOTH YOUR BOSS. Whenever you call in sick or request time off that isn’t annual leave, you have to give a reason.

She has given him a reason.
She's told him she has to have a medical procedure.
That's a reason.

50/50

Email him a photo of the letter with the procedure details removed. So it only shows time and date.

I would suggest saying it's gynaecological, no more detail will be asked trust me! No need to be secretive and he'll be far more embarrassed as all men are

Ps I went to work later that day but I only had a local and no sedative (control freak here, also had kids with no pain relief because I don't like no being fully aware)

@movingonup20

I would suggest saying it's gynaecological, no more detail will be asked trust me! No need to be secretive and he'll be far more embarrassed as all men are

I wouldn't trust you on that, I used to have a boss who definitely would have asked, although I don't work in any kind of medical field he had a sort of medical background and not very good people/HR skills and would not have been put off by that at all.

It's rather sexist stereotyping to assume all men at the same isn't it?

I would get quite passive/aggressive and send him an email with gives exact excruciating detail. You have absolutely no need to be embarrassed - you have a human body that sometimes things go wrong with, exactly the same as everyone else. He wont ask again.

I agree that most male bosses would be deterred by the g word. When I needed a hysteroscopy (cervical polyps and biopsy) I wouldn't have minded much saying what the minor op was; as other posters have said, you can't just grant leave on a say so.
So I took in my hospital letter to show that it was a genuine appointment, custom and practice in teaching.
As soon as his eyes lighted on the word "gynaecology", he hastily agreed to time off without wanting further details, paling at the thought of further details, despite being a married man with two teenage daughters.
And don't worry too much about the op; in my case, the polyps turned out to be benign, and the consultant told me at my post-op check that this is usually the case, But better safe than sorry, and good luck.

You dont have to tell him what it is exactly, i think its more that he's trying to gauge how much time off you might have - open heart surgery has a longer recovery than a cyst removal for example. So 'gynealogical surgery' is fine. It makes sense to provide a reason why you were off sick for absence management purposes, if you are off sick every week with tummy bugs they will manage you accordingly, whereas if you were off every week due to dialysis it would be a different approach. A lot of bigger companies have access to private physio, counselling, emergency funds etc so by them knowing roughly what the issue is they can signpost you to support accordingly too.
Also im not sure that occupational health referral would work in that way as they need to know details to assess you - and if your manager isnt given a copy of their report (which would have the reason why you are off on it) then they have no obligation to do anything as they have no info to go on.