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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To drop out of university now that schools are closed?

62 replies

FrostedCranberries · 04/01/2021 19:36

I'm in my last year and I literally have no support. I cant do uni and looked after my 5 year old. I was at home with her in the first lockdown doing exams and i was close to having a mental breakdown.

I really dont want to suspend my studies as i have enough time off to complete my degree. Not sure if I should carry on and risk a 2:2/3rd or just drop out and complete it some other time in my life, but as I've never had a career (I'm 28), I wont find it easy jumping in to a job straight away. Not like i could even work anyway if schools are all closed.

OP posts:
AaahWoof · 05/01/2021 18:47

Always lovely to see a supportive thread brought down to kicking someone who is struggling. We have live timetabled sessions with set times that we HAVE to be on for every day - plus face-to-face sessions on campus (more like mask-to-mask now), plus hours of prerecorded prep stuff to do as well.

I've just seen the school learning timetable and expectations and it's horrendous - they're expecting basically a full day's teaching to be carried out (including marking and feeding it back to school) and 10 mins of teacher input a day.

AlrightTreacle · 05/01/2021 18:55

I'm not sure what to do from this point on except speak to my personal tutor. I really dont want to take time out either, it's hard being on UC.

Speak to your tutor. I got an extension for my final year dissertation when I told them I was struggling.

It's not in the university's interest for you to drop out completely; they will want you to finish the course, or it reflects badly on them. Speak to them and see what your options are, I'm sure they will be understanding and helpful. Also, even if you do get a 2.2 or a 3rd, it's still a degree, and one that you finished during a pandemic while looking after a 5 year old.

Mara2021 · 05/01/2021 21:33

Just wanted to add a couple of practical lines for your particular situation; you've had some good advice already. From your post, when you say you have literally no support, I'm surmising you're a single mum and not a keyworker, so you can't access any schools that might be staying open where you are.

On the 2:1 vs 2:2 debate, every employer is different, and every subject is different. Yes, the milkround employers (the big ones like Mars or the Faststream civil service or whatever it's called now) look for 2:1s, and when I first graduated I made the mistake of only looking at the tiny number of milkround employers who'd consider applicants with 2:2s, until I temped for a bit, the light dawned, and I adjusted my expectations and started looking for opportunities with smaller employers.

Only getting a 2:2 hasn't stopped me having an okay career. I'm sure some people would sneer at what I do but it's ethical and has offered decent opportunities. I'll never be rich, and we're not talking dazzling the world with unbelievable speeches and decision making from the Houses of Westminster or anything, but I've been able to progress as far as I wanted to. It even allowed me to work in other countries for a bit.

Most of the employers I've worked for have offered excellent work specific training, but I wouldn't have got past the interview stage without a degree or vocational equivalent; the class of degree was irrelevant though, they were much more interested in my "soft" skills.

Your first port of call needs to be your tutor, at least to let them know your situation, then your Uni's support services, pastoral dept, whatever it is they call it. Ask your tutor first though; this can't possibly be the first time they've had to deal with this unless they're brand new to lecturing.

And does your uni have any online peer support groups for parents in your situation? I know it's not the same as face to face, but it might help a little.

If your degree is mainly assignment-based, talk to your tutor about getting extensions, citing extenuating circumstances - how many more do you need to do, to get to that "I just need the hat and the bit of paper" to prove my stickability stage?

The other thing I've had to learn over the years is that "good enough" is often just fine when it comes to assignments, and academic articles, and presentations.

I really hope you manage to get some support - good luck.

AaahWoof · 06/01/2021 08:07

I've also made a huge point of contacting our students union now they're making a huge deal of campaigning for extensions for deadlines and rent rebates that they've completely ignored mentioning parent students who have to deal with this AND the schools crap on top. Will see if anything comes of that.

Porridgeoat · 06/01/2021 08:09

Ask uni for a deferment and explain about what happened last lock down. Come out with the best grade you can

Porridgeoat · 06/01/2021 08:10

Actually scrub that. Contact student services and ask for help

thefinalqualitystreet · 06/01/2021 08:12

See how much your university’s hardship fund can offer you. Even if it’s only a few hundred quid, could you pay someone for childcare for a few days to try and blast through one assignment? Then that’s one less to worry about

SeasonFinale · 06/01/2021 08:13

It is doable as I did it with a 2 year old. It does entail a lot of evevening work. However if you're not mentally in a position to cope then it might be worth looking into deferring for a year. However remember that you will only get one extra year's student finance funding if that is an issue.

Porridgeoat · 06/01/2021 08:15

Can you form a support bubble with someone else who needs childcare. You could split the days so each bubble has the kids for two days a week, giving two days of study weekly

Frouby · 06/01/2021 08:22

Don't drop out! I'm halfway through a foundation year, got 2 dcs at homeschool and also feeling very pressured.

Speak to your student union reps ans also student support services. Unis have things they can do to help, no one knows what will happen re exams etc. School is only 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. Once I've taken the school run off it's about 25 hours a week study time I am losing. I am doing homeschooling in a morning, then ds (just 7) can potter in an afternoon, so watch tv, screens, lego etc. I get interrupted, it's not perfect but if I do 4 hours 6 days a week plus maybe one or 2 sessions once he's in bed I will manage.

As pp have said form a childcare bubble if you can, someone working would probably love to swap a couple of days a week.

Royalbloo · 06/01/2021 08:48

I felt like this and panicked but didn't do anything. So glad I didn't drop out as the feeling passed (quite quickly) and I am still on track. Decisions made when we are stressed are often the wrong ones x

ZoeTurtle · 06/01/2021 09:05

When I said I was thinking of dropping out of my master's, they bent over backwards trying to keep me. Definitely talk to your tutor.

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