To drop out of university now that schools are closed?

[FrostedCranberries]

I'm in my last year and I literally have no support. I cant do uni and looked after my 5 year old. I was at home with her in the first lockdown doing exams and i was close to having a mental breakdown.

I really dont want to suspend my studies as i have enough time off to complete my degree. Not sure if I should carry on and risk a 2:2/3rd or just drop out and complete it some other time in my life, but as I've never had a career (I'm 28), I wont find it easy jumping in to a job straight away. Not like i could even work anyway if schools are all closed.

Don’t drop out, you’ll regret it in years to come

Please speak to the university, to student support and your tutors. You won’t be the only one in this situation and they can talk you through options to avoid you having to quit altogether, like taking a break from it for now and making it up later (I don’t know the technical term, but they will, they’re the experts).

How many units of study are you doing at once? Three or four? Drop it to one only.

I also work in a university and agree with all the previous posts about contacting your tutor, reading up on mitigating circumstances etc.
You may not have to take the whole year out, perhaps part-time the last few modules?
We have been very accommodating as we want everyone to be able to continue with their studies as best they possibly can.

Please don't give up

Do the work on a night when they're in bed

I did that. From 1988 to 1991 I slept four hours, five nights a week. I got my 2:1. It fucked my body for life. Don't try to do a degree after children's bedtimes.

Definitely talk to the uni.

Also, do you have anyone you could form a childcare bubble with, so they take your DD and their child 1-2 days for at least half a day and you return the favour for 1-2 days? Even 10 hours childfree will make a big difference.

Or another friend who is a single mum had a family member move in for a few months last lockdown, she helped out with a couple of hours a day of childcare/home schooling support or occasional meal cooking in return for the company, a change of scene and fewer bills to pay. My friend said she got a bit tired of having a houseguest but her ds loved it, and she was able to.do some work.

Good luck, you can do this!

Can really relate to this I’m in the same crying boat as you. I study medicine so am counted as a key worker but have 3 young kids now off school to contend with. Last year was so hard and I’m not sure I can do it again.
We are all so close to being finished but yet so far now. No advice just your not alone and if you need to chat feel free!

Thanks for all your replies.

I got up early and went to bed late during first lockdown and I seriously became suicidal.

I'm not sure what to do from this point on except speak to my personal tutor. I really dont want to take time out either, it's hard being on UC.

You need to contact your tutors. I am doing a Masters and the Uni has already emailed us all reminding us of the procedures for extension and suspending your studies if you are struggling with childcare, work or other Covid-related eventualities.

Please contact someone at the Uni and ask about your options.

@FrostedCranberries

Thanks for all your replies.

I got up early and went to bed late during first lockdown and I seriously became suicidal.

I'm not sure what to do from this point on except speak to my personal tutor. I really dont want to take time out either, it's hard being on UC.

Talk to your tutor - they might have more flexibility than you know. Also reach out to get on the radar of any of the uni support services - shows you've been proactive trying to solve things if you need to request any adjustments etc. I've got a tentative agreement that I can move one of my modules around to make things more part-time and get me through this really shitty bit - I really cannot fault my department in terms of how they try to support people (the uni centrally is shite though)

I'm hanging onto the fact that this time around it's slap bang in the middle of the teaching term (last time around it was pretty much getting to exam season) so unis are going to HAVE to make more provision for parent students than when they were kind of winging it back in March.

Good luck OP and @Aaahwoof it's so hard isn't it. Even in the last lockdown I was literally staying up all hours to get things done but it destroyed me, I also have a serious illness myself and I just can't be doing it. I can't. I have emailed my tutors and school (even though son doesn't have EHCP I'm praying they can use discretion and allow him to come in because theres absolutely no chance of him engaging with home learning online and being off with no school schedule really affects his mental health) to see what can be put in place. I don't even mind deferring if I absolutely have to but I can't carry on like this something will have to give and my son obviously comes first even though my degree benefits him in the long run.

@WhereamI88

I'm not sure why people are saying 2:2 is ok, if you are doing a degree because you want a career you need a 2:1, especially if you're older. That being said, you don't need to drop out. Contact the university asap. They may allow you to defer a year, that would be the best solution.

What a load of BS

@FrostedCranberries tell them that in 3-4 sentences then ask them what arrangements can be made to help you get through this. They need to understand the severity of the problem for you (some people may be coping OK but getting things done will be a bit tight; others may be in your situation ie major difficulties).

If their answer is unhelpful, post back here for more ideas or ask another tutor. Some colleagues will bend over backwards to help, others might be totally snowed under with start of semester work / their own life problems or may not have the time or a thorough knowledge of the system to provide adequate help.

First of all is there any chance the 5 year old can attend school? If not then I would do something like this (assuming you don't work as you didn't say):
9am - 10am - Homeschooling (whatever work school sets)
10am - 10.30 - Play together
10.30 - 12.00 - Screen time, snack and play alone (Study time).
12.00 - 1pm - Walk together, playground if possible.
1pm - Lunch in front of tv (Study time). When they get bored then study is finished until bedtime.

Plus two hours study each evening should be enough for your degree. If your child loves screens then it will be even easier, don't give up now when you're so close.

I do uni with a child.
Unless there's something you're not mentioning, it's really not that difficult.
All f2f is suspended right now

I dropped out during the 2nd year and, tbh, have regretted it several times since. So much so that I went back and did a distance degree in a different subject many years later as some sort of closure to make peace with not doing it the first time - it was hard and expensive as there is limited/no loan support the 2nd time around

If you possibly can finish it, do so. But also do speak to the uni about what extra help and support they can offer.

@lcdododo

I do uni with a child. Unless there's something you're not mentioning, it's really not that difficult. All f2f is suspended right now

As I said above, I did two totally different subjects and one was far, far harder than the other. Madness really that they both lead to comparible qualifications.

I also think personal skill strengths play a role. I can write essays till the cows come home so I will always be able to bang out a decent essay in less time than it takes most people. Ask me to do something else, such as statisical analysis, and it will take me much much longer.

I don't think it fair to say that because you find it easy, every one should.

I feel your pain OP. I am also working FT, as well as doing a FT degree. Although my work allow me to attend uni one day a week, I am still required to my FT job in the hours that I am in work, as well as study and look after my six year old. Last lockdown it was towards the end of the semester, so managed for the month that I had left. Now the semester is about to begin with new subjects. I also need to attend F2F seminars. Not sure how it will work.

@GhostPepperTears

But you work around it. I do my uni work between 10pm and midnight every night. You find a way to make it work

I'm in my final year as well. I don't have a school age child, and I've found it incredibly stressful, so I can't even imagine how you feel!

Can you take a year off? If not, can you defer/get extensions for any work due in soon? That's what I've done and it's been a huge weight off! It would be a huge shame to drop out when you're so close to graduating, though I totally why you feel like that's your only option.

@Icdododo, so because you find it easy, everyone else should as well? Because everyone's circumstances are the same and everyone is doing the same course.

You're so close, please don't give up now. I loathed my university, and almost dropped out every year. Before my dad died though, many years ago now, he made me promise I'd finish my education, and I've been so glad he made me promise that.

In the long run it has made a huge difference to my ability to find work, combined with vocational qualifications and work experience. He died 6 months after I graduated; due to WWII and being in hospital as a child for many months, he missed out on so much education although he was a bright man. He was never able to fulfil a fraction of his potential.

A degree is often the first "line of entry", as it were, to job opportunities now. A friend's brother, who dropped out of not one but two degrees, is now in a position where he thinks he should have job offers falling at his feet, but in practice he isn't even getting interviews. (Not in the UK but another English speaking country.)

You can do this, really. Just a few more weeks!

Also, for everyone who says 'just do work when DC is in bed!'... That's all well and good if your child goes to bed at a reasonable time and actually sleeps!

@kwiksavenofrillsusername

Also, don't be down on getting a 2:2. Unless you're going into something specific where you need a 2:1, you'll probably never be asked your classification.

Strongly disagree with this and @lcdododo -@WhereamI88 is right; every graduate job I've ever applied for has asked for at least a 2.1 There's no way of saying this without sounding like a dick but nearly 80% of graduates now are getting at least a 2.1 - if you're only getting a third or 2.2 it's a bit of a waste of three years as I don't think it will open many doors to you.

What do you actually need to do to finish this course? Is it exams, coursework or practical? Ask your tutor and student support what your options are - they will want you to pass and not drop out as it will reflect badly on their stats so should be able to do what they can to help you. There will be other people in the same or similar positions.

[quote NotBehindTheRadiatorPlease]@Icdododo, so because you find it easy, everyone else should as well? Because everyone's circumstances are the same and everyone is doing the same course. [/quote]
I never said I find it easy.
It's bloody hard. But you just crack on for the sake of a short period of stress

Don't give up. If you are in your last year you must have less than 6 months to go?

Speak to your Uni
Look online to see what funding there is (try turn to us and Smallwood Trust). If you can get some grant income you could pay for a nanny to come to your house (they can still work).
Look on childcare.co.uk and pop in your postcode. You might be able to get 5 or 10 hours nanny support a week. Might cost you £75-£150 per week? (But the grant might pay for that?)

Could you pay an older secondary student to look after your child for 2 hours a day? I used to do that when I was in S5 and S6 (last 2 years of secondary)

Please, please don't give up. You are so close.