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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for funny stories about your pets?

43 replies

Sparklfairy · 04/01/2021 11:47

I was reminded this morning of something my cat did when I was about 9, and honestly if I hadn't lived it I don't think I'd believe it!

We had two cats who were sisters. They both had kittens at the same time, so we had 11 cats... one morning when they were 3 or 4 weeks old we came downstairs and there were NO cats. Anywhere.

We went round knocking on neighbours doors asking to check sheds etc, no sign. How can you lose 9 kittens?!

Then one of the mum cats came home, ate some food and disappeared again, which was unlike her. We waited for her to come back and made a sort of harness out of string, attached it to her and then let her out again.

We followed her and the string like something out of Hansel and Gretel and she led us to an empty house at the end of our road. Peeking over the fence we found all the kittens having a brilliant time climbing the trees in the garden

I have no idea what possessed her to take the kittens here in the middle of the night! And I've always wondered, did she carry them down the road one at a time or did she have them follow her single file like ducklings? Did she have a cat conversation with them all telling them they were going on an adventure?! We got into the garden by asking a neighbour who knew and asked the owner, 'captured' all the cats (who did not want to leave their new playground), but strangely they never escaped again!

I had pets all my childhood and have lots of strange and funny stories but that is definitely the weirdest. Can anyone beat that (or explain what the hell she was thinking?)?

OP posts:

LunaL0veg00d · 04/01/2021 11:54

That's a cute story!

Mine is a bit more grim. My cat once accidentally ate cling film, we think it had some leftover turkey in it. It was New Year's Day, we lived in a house share and my housemates and I were hungover as hell chasing my cat around the house while he was freaking out about this cling film which was hanging out his arse!

We got him to the emergency vet (triple cost, New Year's Day), to find he had poo'ed out the cling film in his carrier at some point on the journey.

That was 10 years ago, my cat is fine, hasn't gone near human food since and my old housemates and I still laugh about it.

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 04/01/2021 12:08

@LunaL0veg00d ugggghhhhh trying to deal with that hungover would probably finish me off! I've had a dog that did similar all the fucking time but despite numerous cats none have been that daft! At least he learned his lesson more than I can say for my dog

OP posts:

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 04/01/2021 12:43

Well I guess I'm the only one with weirdo cats then

OP posts:

leiaskye · 04/01/2021 12:48

Cute story.

Taking my dogs out for a walk, used a zebra crossing.traffic had stopped, including a bus full of college students.

One of my dogs stopped part way across for a poo!

Not only did I have to wait for her to finish, but of course then had to pick it up!

My children skipped to the other side of the road, pretending they weren’t with me. I didn’t look at any of the drivers & just kept my (very red!) face down.

RainandCloudsinSummer · 04/01/2021 13:16

My story is a 'you'd have to see it to believe it' too!

We were living in a little mid terrace house, with lots houses all around. We didn't have a cat flap, so used to leave the kitchen window open for the cats to jump in and out of.

One day we heard a thump and on investigating, found an entire (raw) chicken on our kitchen floor... and a very smug looking cat. The bugger must have snuck into another house and had their Sunday lunch away, over goodness knows how many 6 foot garden fences and somehow squeezed it through our window!

I still feel dreadful that our cat half-inched someone's lunch, but we didn't think we could go knocking to reunite the befouled fowl with its rightful owners!

Katinski · 04/01/2021 13:16

1st house we lived in there was a cat flap already installed. Moved to 2nd house. Cat enthusiastically and determinedly tried to post herself through the letterbox, again and again.

Lockheart · 04/01/2021 13:17

This sounds like another Daily Mail fishing for article fodder thread.

Terracottasaur · 04/01/2021 13:18

Not my pet, but someone I know had a standard wire-haired dachshund who was monumentally greedy. She was once out walking with him in a park when she noticed he had a small length of string hanging out of his arse. Unsure of what else to do, she grabbed a couple of twigs and used them to try and tug the string out.

It just kept coming. Turns out the dog had eaten, whole, an entire ball of garden twine. She kept on using the twigs to unspool it, before a growing audience in the middle of the park. She said by the time she had it all out she had practically knitted a scarf.

Noidea2114 · 04/01/2021 13:18

We had 2 dog brothers. One preferred to be on his own. Took himself to bed, sat in his own etc. In the 13 years we had him we felt privileged if he came near us. The only person he liked was our first grandchild. When he was 6 months old he disappeared.
House and garden searched. Neighbours out looking for him. Posters put up. The next day he was found in the spare room under the duvet and pile of teddies of a neighbour who lived around the corner. The door to the room was open so he wasn't locked in.
She brought him home and he had something to eat then went back to his own bed.

notinthiseconomy · 04/01/2021 13:20

My kitten plays fetch.

My son is delighted because our dog thinks she's a human refuses to act like a dog, so does not "do" fetch.

I wish I could post a video!

VeganVeal · 04/01/2021 13:27

My sister, who wasnt used to looking after pets, looked after my dog for a week. She decided it was a good idea to feed it hard boiled eggs, that was until it shit on her new rug

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 04/01/2021 13:28

@Lockheart

This sounds like another Daily Mail fishing for article fodder thread.

I can see why it would look like that. But if you advanced search me you'll see I'm genuine

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Original poster

Sparklfairy · 04/01/2021 13:35

The cats that play fetch ...

The cat my DM has now is my sister's cat. We didn't believe she was quite so... dog like? until she turned up. Even when we go to put her out at night she 'flops' in protest and refuses to go out

then my sister sent a video of her new cat playing fetch. I couldn't believe it but apparently it's a thing? I must say, although I'm not sure I would have a dog again, and like cats for their independence I wouldn't say no to a dog-like-cat

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FTM91 · 04/01/2021 13:39

My dog once hurt his paw (mildly, must have stood on a rock or twig or something, no blood!) and completely milked it to get us to carry him almost all the way home (11-12kg terrier type)

I kept putting him down at regular intervals and he just held his paw up all limp and looked at me sadly. After about 20 minutes of this charade I got completely fed up and walked off without him and didnt look back. Took about 30 seconds before the game was up and he whizzed past me absolutely fine!!

amusedbush · 04/01/2021 13:58

I have a Jack Russell and he is SUCH a diva. I won’t go out in the rain, he won’t walk through puddles and if I try to make him walk for longer than 15 minutes he ‘asks’ to be carried (i.e. stands on his hind legs and tries to climb my legs pitifully).

He also adores my FIL and last time we walked by the route we usually take to FIL’s house, the dog planted his arse firmly on the ground and would not be shifted. He was so determined to visit his ‘grandad’ I had to scoop him up and carry him home

VeryQuaintIrene · 04/01/2021 14:13

We once agreed to take in six out of twelve middle-aged black cats (their owner was in a horrific car crash) who turned out all to be kinds of unadoptable (medical and personality issues) by anyone sane. They lived 4 hours away from us and we drove to get two of them. Imagine 4 hours of antiphonal miaowing and pooing on the way back. Horrendous - we kept having to stop at petrol stations to clean them up a bit before proceeding. The icing on the cake was when we got them back and discovered from their cat-sitter , who hadn't been there when we took them, that one of them was the wrong cat...

ChristingleAlltheWay · 04/01/2021 14:28

Like a PP my previous cat hurt her paw by coming down from a tree the more difficult route and falling. We took her to the vets and it was sprained, but nothing serious.

For months she limped around the place getting lots of sympathy from one and all, until we realised that, if she thought she was out of sight she'd run along quite normally, and only pick her paw up when she saw us. We soon put paid to any more sympathy!!!

My current cat has always been very caring of me. My DP once decided to build trout ponds in the river that runs across our land, so we spent the afternoon shifting heavy rocks around in it. After about an hour my cat appeared, and got most concerned that I was in the water so screamed at me to get out. Eventually she climbed the tree on the bank and walked along the overhanging branch, to tell me off from closer quarters. At this point DP told me to get out before the cat fell in, so I did. At which point she jumped down from the tree and quite happily came for a walk with me along the bank.Poor DP got most upset that she wasn't in the least bit concerned about him, though!

Whatisthisfuckery · 04/01/2021 14:29

I have so many dog stories.

My last dog, black lab, used to like to carry around the biggest stick she could find. We would walk her for miles and all the way she’d be carrying an enormous stick. When she got tired she’s stand in front of me and whine for me to grab the other end of the stick and carry it for her.

Because she liked the biggest stick she could carry she used to get it stuck when going through gates. One day she was running along with this bloody great log in her mouth when she went clonk, the ends of the stick hit the gate posts either side. She dropped the stick, then proceeded to pick it up and try to get it through. She had a couple of attempts without success, the stick was just too big, so she dropped it, then looked at me and whined. I picked up the stick, turned it round to get it through the gate and dropped it again for her and she was delighted.

She was a particularly stupid dog. She was brilliant.

ChristingleAlltheWay · 04/01/2021 14:33

The second cat again - I went out to supervise her the first time she went out into the garden when I had a new rabbit roaming around. She'd been use to my previous bunny, but he was a rescue and I wasn't sure how either of them would react.

She got VERY interested seeing him out there, and crouched down before jumping over the chicken wire towards him. My boy didn't react at all. She then walked round the shed he was sitting next to, so she could pounce on him again, but without him getting advanced warning. Again, he didn't move a hair.

Obviously upset with his lack of reaction she turned tail and started to walk away, trying to look as though she knew that was going to be the outcome that she wasn't bothered, until she looked behind her to find my rabbit bouncing slowing after her. At which point she ran out of that part of the garden in disgust - prey were meant to run away, not chase her!

TurquoiseDragon · 04/01/2021 14:36

Mum had a cat and when I was 16/17 (so, a long time ago) I remember dad bringing the Xmas turkey to the table to carve, and the cat went mad, trying to get at the meat.

I can still see mum and dad running around the room chasing the cat to get him outdoors, while at the same time the cat was constantly darting to the table trying to get up and at the bird. It was total slapstick.

DBro and I were trying to stay out the way while laughing our heads off.

Cheeseandlobster · 04/01/2021 14:38

I had a cat who knew how to open the fridge. He would take out packets of bacon or ham and would zip one claw round the plastic to open it. We had to get a child lock on the fridge in the end. He was obsessed with spag bol which I discovered when I left my dinner unattended for 30 seconds. He had an orange mouth and nose for days after that. And he loved to eat peas by spearing each one with the same claw he opened packets of bacon with and eating them daintily one by one. I miss him tremendously - he was ace

Whatisthisfuckery · 04/01/2021 14:43

When I was with my XH we had two labradors, a different one to the black one in my last post. We had a 15Kg bag of dog food delivered, and stupidly I didn’t put it in the cupboard before we went out. We came back to an open bag of food with about 1/3 eaten, an empty water bole where it had been filled when we left, two huge waddling barrelsom labradors and a big poo in the middle of the floor.

Needless to say two greedy labradors went without food that evening and the next morning.

Labobo · 04/01/2021 14:46

DH once took DC away to visit family and I had to stay behind to work. I was sitting alone watching TV in the evening when DCat arrived with a fluffy, cute river vole in his mouth. He came and dropped it on the rug in front of me, nodded like an Amazon driver, 'There's your package, mate' and left the room. He'd obviously noticed my kittens were missing and found what he decided was a suitable replacement. River vole went beserk and DCat showed zero interest in helping catch it. He just sat on the coffee table patiently watching with a satisfied, 'See what I did? See what fun you can have?' look on his face while me and my new kitten played chase around the living room for two hours. Finally caught it and took it back to the riverbank where it belonged.

MaMisled · 04/01/2021 14:50

Years ago, my beautiful, sweet, long haired cat dragged half of a large pepperoni pizza and a pretty big koi carp through the cat flap in the space of an hour.🙄

Junkmail · 04/01/2021 14:53

@RainandCloudsinSummer

My story is a 'you'd have to see it to believe it' too!

We were living in a little mid terrace house, with lots houses all around. We didn't have a cat flap, so used to leave the kitchen window open for the cats to jump in and out of.

I still feel dreadful that our cat half-inched someone's lunch, but we didn't think we could go knocking to reunite the befouled fowl with its rightful owners!

That’s very funny—I remembering watch our childhood cat drag and adult pheasant across the fields and through the fence into our back garden. And a friend had her cat bring a LIVE seagull inside

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