To ask for funny stories about your pets?

[Sparklfairy]

I was reminded this morning of something my cat did when I was about 9, and honestly if I hadn't lived it I don't think I'd believe it!

We had two cats who were sisters. They both had kittens at the same time, so we had 11 cats... one morning when they were 3 or 4 weeks old we came downstairs and there were NO cats. Anywhere.

We went round knocking on neighbours doors asking to check sheds etc, no sign. How can you lose 9 kittens?!

Then one of the mum cats came home, ate some food and disappeared again, which was unlike her. We waited for her to come back and made a sort of harness out of string, attached it to her and then let her out again.

We followed her and the string like something out of Hansel and Gretel and she led us to an empty house at the end of our road. Peeking over the fence we found all the kittens having a brilliant time climbing the trees in the garden

I have no idea what possessed her to take the kittens here in the middle of the night! And I've always wondered, did she carry them down the road one at a time or did she have them follow her single file like ducklings? Did she have a cat conversation with them all telling them they were going on an adventure?! We got into the garden by asking a neighbour who knew and asked the owner, 'captured' all the cats (who did not want to leave their new playground), but strangely they never escaped again!

I had pets all my childhood and have lots of strange and funny stories but that is definitely the weirdest. Can anyone beat that (or explain what the hell she was thinking?)?

We have pet rats. Once, I came downstairs in the morning and found the cage door open.
Oh no, panick, are they all there?
One, two, three, four... Four? We only have three rats!
On further inspection it turned out to be the perfectly rat-sized decorative hedgehog from a nearby shelf, standing neatly on it's feet. I guess they wanted a new friend.

This is a weird one! And a long one, sorry!

It wasn’t a pet, but one of the semi-feral cats we used to feed when living in the Middle East.

I’d often heard about cats climbing into car engine spaces at night for warmth, but never encountered it until one day when I was driving to work and heard a squeaking noise coming from under the bonnet.

Stopped the car at the side of a fairly busy road and opened the bonnet to find a small kitten sitting on top of some big round part of the engine. 😱
Grabbed it before it ran off and got run over, carried on to work (I was teaching and had classes imminent), left kitten in the car with a window slightly open and a dish of water.

Came down to check on it during first break 2 hours later - no kitten! Couldn’t understand it - the window wasn’t open wide enough for it to get out.

After another couple of hours drove home again, no kitten, no squeaking. Assumed kitten had somehow managed to get out of the window after all.

A bit later had to drive dds to school for something - OMG, more squeaking, but this time coming from somewhere behind the steering wheel!

Told dh when he came home that he’d have to get the company mechanics to dismantle the engine before the poor little thing died (and decomposed) in there.

He said, let’s try just leaving the car with the door open, see what happens.
Sure enough, after a while a mother cat we recognised came sniffing around - evidently hearing the squeaking, and eventually the kitten emerged, apparently unharmed!

We could only think that it must have squeezed itself up into the space around one of the pedals.

How it didn’t get injured I’ll never know, but talk about phew!

Our ddog was very entitled.. And huge. She didn't walk past anything- she went through it. People, our other ddogs. We knew to move or get hurt!!
One day she came to encounter a football net ds had got...
No understanding of why it didn't move when she rammed it..

Had a dog that used join the ice cream queue with the kids. Patiently waited his turn, shuffling closer as each person got served. When it was his turn he’d jump up to the counter where he was rewarded with a small cone, which he’d carry off to where the kids were sat and join them to eat it.

Another dog used to climb onto the swing in our garden and we’d give him a push.

Most recent dog absolutely adored DD, when she visited he’d insist on sitting on her lap. DD weighed 7 stone. The dog weighed 8.

Years ago I had a cat who would turn and face the wall if anyone he didn't like came into my house. He was even more particular about who shared my bed.

I met this bloke, and after several dates, he came home with me. The following morning I woke up to hear him say 'will you get this fucking thing off my chest'. When I looked my cat was sitting on his chest. his face close up and eyeballing him. I looked down and saw his claws were poised to dig in so daren't try to move him so I got up and got his breakfast ready, he jumped off, the bloke got up and dressed and left the house and I never heard from him again.

@Whatisthisfuckery

I have so many dog stories.

My last dog, black lab, used to like to carry around the biggest stick she could find. We would walk her for miles and all the way she’d be carrying an enormous stick. When she got tired she’s stand in front of me and whine for me to grab the other end of the stick and carry it for her.

Because she liked the biggest stick she could carry she used to get it stuck when going through gates. One day she was running along with this bloody great log in her mouth when she went clonk, the ends of the stick hit the gate posts either side. She dropped the stick, then proceeded to pick it up and try to get it through. She had a couple of attempts without success, the stick was just too big, so she dropped it, then looked at me and whined. I picked up the stick, turned it round to get it through the gate and dropped it again for her and she was delighted.

She was a particularly stupid dog. She was brilliant.

Ah, see my dog is smarter than me and DH

I once tied his toy up inside a sock to see if he could get it out, like a brainteaser for him. After a while he came trotting over with the freed toy and I went mad with praise, rubbing his belly, etc. I then noticed that he hadn’t been able to get the toy out, he tricked me by getting an identical toy!

Just a couple of nights ago DH hid one of his toys in the drawer under the bed. When the dog realised he couldn’t open it from the front, he climbed under the bed and pushed it out from the back!

I often say he could take over the world if he had thumbs

Back when I lived with my parents we were having a meal, and my mum asked me to go get some extra food from the kitchen. I go in and find the cat eating a chicken leg from her food bowl.
This was unusual for 2 reasons, firstly my mum wouldn't usually give her a whole chicken leg, and secondly she usually pulled all her food out of the bowl to eat it in the floor.

So I commented on it to my mum. Turns out that while we'd been eating she's got up in the kitchen counter, stole a chicken leg from a covered dish in a way that meant it was still covered afterwards, then dragged it across the kitchen to her bowl.

Me and DH used to have pet rats, one day we discovered they'd eaten a hole in the bottom of their cage and escaped. We looked everywhere for them, increasingly convinced they'd got under the floorboards. We searched for hours, eventually we started to think there was nothing else we could do and happened to glance at the cage. All of them were sat in their hammock watching us. They'd snuck back in while we were out of the room.

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper

Our ddog was very entitled.. And huge. She didn't walk past anything- she went through it. People, our other ddogs. We knew to move or get hurt!! One day she came to encounter a football net ds had got... No understanding of why it didn't move when she rammed it..

I love this photo. The dogs expression shows it realises its been a bit daft and the other dog behind is shaking its head saying "You utter twat"

We got a dpuppy last Feb and she chewed through every single square of net in one afternoon.
. Ddog had sadly been pts by then. Brought back that funny memory though... Well missed...

We’re not allowed pets but we often have other peoples to stay

My mates dog (staff/whippet cross)adores us-and we adore him
He knows it’s me who buys and stores his tennis balls so to thank me he’ll get a ball and walk over to me,drop a fart and will walk away until next time he needs to drop one

Another mates dog-(staffie)she did say something about not letting him go outside alone for his last wee of the night but I just figured she was over protective of him
Nope-in the space of a minute he’d brought back a mouse-that was running round my kitchen and while I tried to catch it,he brought in a hedgehog and then a frog!

My sons dog will walk along very happy to be out-and when he’s had enough he’ll just lay down and go to sleep-nothing will budge him until he’s ready
He’s a staffie so no carrying him either-you just have to stand there until he’s ready
An hour I was left just standing there last time,holding onto a lead with a snoring staffie at the other end

Another mates dog (staff) came to stay for the night when I noticed something orange sticking out of her bum
I tugged on it-and after about 5 minutes of tugging/trying not to get bitten every time I pulled,I finally yanked out a Sainsbury’s carrier bag
The little bugger had eaten it at home and pooed it out at mine!

Love them all but they do have their quirks

We used to have two staffies, one of whom was a bit mental and would bark at anything that had moved in the house. He barked at a phone cable I’d put on the bed for 45 minutes straight. Another time he spent a good half an hour barking at my guitar case that I had left in the livingroom.

I’ve got two..

Years ago when I was teenager, I still had a cabin bed with a chair underneath it.

My boyfriend at the time was sat on the chair, and my cat was a little ticked off I was giving him attention and not her.

So she jumped down from the bed and landed on his genital area (trousers on btw) with her claws out

I laughed...a lot.

Second one was a chihuahua I used to have.

Me and dh ordered Chinese and they were both (I had two) very interested in what I had.

So I was flicking peas on the floor for her to eat which she scooped up nicely.

Dropped them a bit of chicken, and all of a sudden all the peas she had been eating dropped out. She hadn’t eaten them at all but instead stored them in her cheeks like a giant hamster

2 cat stories. First cat was old when we got a kitten (another story but anyway) - she had long since retired from catching mice. But now here was this kitten catching mice every week - showing her up!

One day we came home to find our old cat sitting at the backdoor with a pre-caught mouse in a mouse trap. Not our mouse trap I might add

Later when that cat became a kitten she had to get a magnetic key collar to stop other cats getting in and beating her up. By this time our elderly cat had sadly passed on and she used to see them off with ease (a former stray) but this cat was a wuss.

Anyway, I once nipped to the kitchen to get salt and pepper shakers, leaving my dinner on the table. Moments later I heard a strange scraping noise. The cat emerged dragging a fork along the ground that was stuck to her magnet. Caught!

As with Cheeseandlobster my cat could also open the fridge door; he would lay on his back and use both paws for greater leverage, and I had to put a child lock on the door.
He loved to entertain; when he realised that diving under the fireside rug and running around with it on his back caused laughter and applause, he repeated the performance.
But not always logical; one rainy day, he sat by the back door waiting to be let out, then recoiled in horror at outside conditions. Then he trotted to the front door, and asked to be let out there instead. When it was revealed that it was raining at the front of the house as well, he slouched off, muttering Muttley-style, pausing only to swipe his innocent little sister who had been quietly minding her own business.

This is the little swine that came tearing in the house foaming at the mouth. The lesson in that is never lick toads you find in the garden.

He's not my swine I add, my Grand Sausage. My own dog is impeccably behaved cough cough

@amusedbush

I have a Jack Russell and he is SUCH a diva. I won’t go out in the rain, he won’t walk through puddles and if I try to make him walk for longer than 15 minutes he ‘asks’ to be carried (i.e. stands on his hind legs and tries to climb my legs pitifully).

He also adores my FIL and last time we walked by the route we usually take to FIL’s house, the dog planted his arse firmly on the ground and would not be shifted. He was so determined to visit his ‘grandad’ I had to scoop him up and carry him home

My dachshund is exactly like this.

Even down to refusing to move if we go in the opposite direction to my dad's house!

I have a kitten that loves to play fetch withscewed up balls of papaer , all very cute until he drops a sogging bit of parer on your face at 3am wanting to play.

The Ddog that I had was a eternal pup , even at 16 he still loved to play but never liked dogs toy , like PPs dog he loved huge sticks but he fav toy was a very old foot ball , over the years it went from a found popped ball to a scrap of leather that he would shake so hard he'd stubble all over the place cos hed made himself dizzy.
He also loved Broccoli and Cauil stalks and the outer leaves of leeks , all of which had to been thrown arounfd the room for at least half a hour before he ate them .

When I was growing up we had a little black cat , when he wanted to go out / come in he would sit by the kitchen door , that was fine as it was all glass so we could see him waiting to come in .
We had the door replaced with one that had a wooden lower half but still had a glass window in the top . Dcat quickly learnt that to come in he had too be seen so he would stick his claws in the window putty and pull himself up .
You coud just see his toes ears and eyes , he looked cute , but then he thought to get let out he had to do the same so he would hang on the inside of the door waiting for us to open it to let him out . Daft cat

Good grief please excuse my poor spelling and grammer