Masks

[WestLondon333]

Hi,

This is my first post so please be kind. I know this is a "delicate" subject but I thought this might be a good platform to ask people to please think twice before being angry when they are out.

I just want to say that not everyone that doesn't wear a mask is a "selfish bastard", some people have very serious health issues.

Let me give you my example... DH has terminal cancer which unsurprisingly come with shortness of breath as well as a hundred other things. We are trying to live as normal a life as possible for our children but are seeing increased anger towards DH who can only wear a mask for short periods of time as he cannot breathe properly.

I don't know if anyone else is seeing a general decline in kindness from people but I am seeing it more and more and even if this post makes just one person stop and think before saying something unkind to someone who may really be in trouble with their physical or mental health (or both!) then I'll be a happier woman.

I’ve only ever seen one person wearing a lanyard saying they are exempt. You can print it off gov.uk

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/903454/Exemption_from_face_covering_card_to_print.pdf

I'm bloody sick of the things though.. wherever I can slightly take it off I will

Could he wear a visor? I do think everyone unable to wear a mask should be wearing a visor tbh.

Especially as, if he caught covid, he would likely be very very ill, so I would feel very anxious him being in a supermarket without any form of protection at all. I know it's not massively helpful but it's better than nothing. I also think it would stop people thinking he's doing it just because he doesn't want to or doesn't care that people are dying.

We have had a talk with PILs who are shielding about how intolerant the world is now and that when they are out and about they have to be very careful or they'll get an earful, they're the type of people who cough without covering their mouth except for when they're about to hand you something then they cough into their hand first.

People are scared, and angry about how so many of us are following all the rules but it's still bad because so many people are refusing to follow the rules. Really, it's people like your DH that these people are trying to protect. Their anger is directed at a man selfishly choosing to put people who are vulnerable at greater risk, not realising that your husband is actually one of those people.

@Dearmaria God that's horrible. Your poor mum.

Some people will just take any excuse to be nasty bullies.

I guess we can all only speak from our own experiences. I don't see many adults without them or wearing them wrongly, I've never witnessed anyone being aggressively challenged or aggressively defending their exemption. I'm also not overly anxious about it (good thing really seeing as I'm a teacher). Hence my general 'just leave people to get on with it'. I really don't equate non mask wearing with deliberately causing harm. I know other people have had very different experiences but there seems so much fear, anger and aggression around this issue that it's a cumulatively negative effect.

I work in retail

Mask wearing is dropping off. I’d estimate 75% are wearing masks properly now.

Many enjoy telling you they are exempt when nobody has even said a word to them. They just want a conversation, enjoy telling everyone. The true exempt just come in get what’s needed and get out

Less time to infect the rest of us then. Retail are sitting ducks. Hundreds of people near us daily even though tier 4

I don't know if it's a decline in kindness or genuine worry/fear from people that those not 'doing their bit' are helping to facilitate the spread of covid, hence the reactions. Obviously your husband sounds like he genuinely can't wear a mask but the amount of folk I see without masks...there is no way they all have exemptions.

@Godimabitch I do think people like him are a minority though and thankfully some nice passers by stopped to console her and managed to get the man to leave. It's just been so hard to see my mum like that, I wish there was more that could be done for people with true exemptions.

Face shields or visors should be available as an alternative. I suspect the vast majority of people not wearing face coverings are perfectly able to and do not have the medical conditions such as the OP refers to. In Spain there is no choice, in Germany everyone complies.

Unfortunately the people who are faking it make it difficult for the genuine ones.

The thing I don’t get is, if you’re not wearing a mask because you have a health condition, you are making yourself vulnerable to catching the virus.

I entirely agree that some people are being really unkind, and I do sympathize.

If you are genuinely unable to wear a mask for health/breathing reasons then you need to seriously consider if it’s safe to be out and about. Because these are the groups very vulnerable if they catch covid.

I’ve no doubt some people can’t wear a mask. But a far greater number simply don’t want to or find it uncomfortable. In the hospital we barely see a single person not wearing a mask when attending clinic or whatever. And this clearly includes a lot of people with health issues.
Working in theatres prior to covid I had not seen a single case of someone unable to wear a mask. Staff, students, visitors, reps etc. Now this is a self selecting group - but not a single case

Very sorry about your husband OP.

The problem is that not everyone not wearing a mask is exempt, and people understandably find this irritating / upsetting / frightening (depending on their level of vulnerability / fear).

The solution would be if everyone exempt wore the hidden disabilities lanyard as PP suggested.

We’ve had this out on another thread.

The crux of the matter is not whether people should be kind, but the fact that even someone with the most genuine highest level of exemption can still harbour and spread covid.

It’s an issue of where an individual’s rights come into conflict with the safety of the many.

(And I am a breathing-troubled cev person; it’s hard, I know.)

I live in a country where masks are compulsory. There are no exceptions for any illness . No-one has died de wearing a mask.

I strongly agree with comments above that if you really can't tolerate a mask, then you should be wearing a visor - not perfect, but much better than nothing.

No way am I wearing anything on me that visibly indicates I have a disability. My disability is hidden and it’s my business.

I have no issue with having a card to show to an appropriate person eg a policeman or woman.

I'm genuinely unable to wear one and I've stopped wearing my lanyard too because I was sick of people staring at it. Should I wear a leper bell too while I'm at it? Being challenged no longer bothers me and it rarely happens anyway. I rarely see another shopper without a mask but see lots of people not wearing them properly.
I agree with the pp who said some people just like picking fights and this is a convenient outlet. An elderly man started a conversation with me in Aldi and said he noticed how snappy and nasty people have become.

Brinkmanship Surely not wearing a mask in itself shows you have an invisible disability. So it's not like no one is going to know. If you go without people are going to assume your either a chancer or you have a disability. I know what I would rather people think 🤷

I don’t have to wear anything that indicates I have a disability. It literally feels like I’m being branded.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

@Pipandmum

If i see someone without a mask i assume there's a reason. It's those who do not wear them properly that are annoying.

I've seen so many in busy places like shopping centres in December that I don't believe they all have a medical reason not to wear a mask - I believe the majority are refusers. I have not challenged them and nor have I seen anyone else challenge any of them.

I don’t have to wear a “fucking lanyard”. There is no legal duty on me to do so and I won’t be wearing one.

If there was a legal requirement, I would. But there’s not.

In addition. While the lanyards can be bought online I don’t think there’s any point to them.

It's a dilemma isn't it though?
Mask wearing is to protect others. So if you go out without a mask, you are putting others at risk.

If you are mask exempt for health reasons, going out where other people also aren't wearing masks puts you at risk as well as you putting others at risk.

We should be kind, but we should also worry about our own as well as others' health. So how do we reconcile this? In the UK it seems that there is no real system and hence some people shout at the maskless, some maskless shout back etc etc.

The questions we have to ask ourselves is: how much do i want to put myself at risk? How much do i want to put others at risk?

You could then ask yourself if your desire/need to go out maskless (because genuine exemption) is great enough that you do it. And then you have to ask yourself if you prefer to put yourself at the risk of a person getting up in your face and shouting (for whatever reason) or wear a visible signal that you are exempt.

Thee are no correct answers.

Such a shame that your DH is experiencing this anger directed at him.

So many people in the general public lack awareness and seem very single-minded and think in black and white terms. It's infuriating. It doesn't seem that difficult to me to understand that not everyone can wear a mask.

I have seen some people wearing lanyards around their neck when not wearing a mask. It's a shame they have to but maybe something like that could help as a visible symbol?