I've resigned, manager wants it secret, I don't

[NoOneCaresInRealLife]

Exactly that really, I've resigned from my job end day was 31st December '20 but due to the nature of the business I've agreed to stay until 31st January '21 to help with transition. My manager has been calling people into the board room and telling them individually that I'm leaving and telling them not to tell anyone!
I am happy that I am leaving but this 'cloak and dagger' telling people has really annoyed me. I am part of the senior management team and in my opinion an email should have been sent out detailing my end date. I am quite angry about this stupidness
AIBU -

What’s stopping you sending out an email?

Are they waiting until you have your replacement in place to announce the change? I presume you're a teacher because this is common practise in schools. You should make sure you're allowed to tell people before starting on your goodbyes otherwise the drama you cause could end up following you. Head teachers speak to each other and it's not worth getting a reputation for. I wouldn't risk causing an upset just to say goodbye to people you probably won't stay in contact with. Anyone who you're actually friends with and will continue to see once you leave will hear it from you anyway.

Send the email yourself.

As a senior manager how you communicate your leaving is critical and will ultimately reflect on you. HBR have a great (free I think) article on how to manage the process effectively. It affects people significantly and you have a duty to your team but most importantly to yourself to present the narrative you wish.

Not a teacher -

Are you Gavin Williamson? 🤔

Boris?

Agree that you need to send out an email yourself. I left a job years ago when I took a case against my former boss, and only found out years later that everyone thought I had been sacked, because that was what my ex boss had told people. He omitted to mention the fact that I won my tribunal case against him, and was redeployed into another job! Needless to say, I belatedly put people right.
Be proactive about this - it doesn't sound like your boss has your best interests at heart.

Seasonal team?
Amazon?
Debenhams?

very odd - particularly when you have done them a favour by staying on eight months ago, and extending your notice now.

Given that you're not that dependent on a reference, I'd maybe give it a day or so, have a chat with your immediate team, then email everyone else, saying you're sorry to be leaving but.....

There's not a lot they can do? You wanted to finish on 31 Dec anyway. If they did ask you to go immediately because of your email (unlikely) they'd still have to pay you.

Just send a round Robbin email saying goodbye to everyone and how you've enjoyed working with them etc - they might want to get you a leaving gift and will be mad if you just disappear without being given that option.

@Ginfordinner

I find it interesting that half the posters have assumed the manager is female and the other half male.

Yep! I scrolled back up to re-read the OP as I noticed exactly this!

I imagine they are just thinking about what to do with your post and whether there’s an opportunity to move things around? And getting ideas/viewpoints from the people they speak to individually.

I agree you need some time to say your goodbyes but presumably you’re not having a massive leaving party or anything?

Often we ask people to give us a few days to announce a departure, usually when there's some chance they'll stay or if there is something to organise, e.g. temporary cover or reporting lines.
Longer than a week is weird. I'd be bright and breezy and basically tell everyone I meet.

I find it interesting that half the posters have assumed the manager is female and the other half male.

Yep! I scrolled back up to re-read the OP as I noticed exactly this!

But seeing as the world is roughly 50/50 - surely it makes sense that this thread split roughly in accordance with that?!

This happened to me too! And as I was working out a 6 month notice period it was really annoying, knowing that I would be going and yet people didn't know.

In the end I had to insist that they told people.

The reason given was that news of my departure would, apparently, be unsettling. I really don't know why they thought that. Anyway, they did announce it after I insisted.

If your manager won't do it, then you should take charge and do it. Why shouldn't you be in charge of your own 'story'?!

My boss is like this. She wants anyone leaving to keep it quiet so she can control the narrative.

She takes it quite personally when people leave and likes to infer to others that they have been encouraged to move on rather than just decided to leave.

I'm surprised at how many people think this is an issue. In my experience it often happens that senior team members are asked to keep things quiet for a time. That is how the boss has decided to manage the situation and it may be to give them time to work out whether it means recruitment or moving people around. The boss probably doesn't want staff to feel concerned around instability and would rather announce when it's appropriate. IME when people are leaving it can cause disruption and the boss is trying to avoid that.

Does the boss want to get your replacement sorted before announcing your departure, to ensure continuity of care?

And agree with @doyoumind about reducing disruption and instability also.

Well surely if you're leaving anyway there's no harm in sending out your own email?

Hi all, most of you will know by now that I am leaving at the end of the month. I just wanted to thank you for working so hard these last few months
Etc, etc

What's she going to do? Sack you?

Are you a teacher?

Boardrooms don't tend to feature much in schools.

Hi OP I'm going through something similar. I'm working my notice out and have nothing else lined up. However the boss is determined to put a positive spin on this and is eluding to the idea that I'm leaving to do a PhD. I am happy to let people know that I'm leaving with nothing else to go to because that's preferable to me than staying a moment longer.

This is about to happen to me, I’m going to resign in feb/March, I won’t get a leaving card or opportunity to send an email saying goodbye but bizarrely they will tell me that the door is open to come back?!

I think it’s a control thing, they are worried about others leaving too.

You should start telling people. You're not relying on him for a reference so you can manage the situation however you want.

I had something very similar. My manager wanted me to tell him what words I would be using to tell people I had resigned. I refused and told him I'd use whichever words I saw fit. He also wanted to dictate who I told and in what order. Also refused. He didn't acknowledge my resignation for 72 hours (ie didn't respond to the email which is how resignations are done) and didn't even speak to me about for two weeks.

@AlwaysCheddar

Tell people you’re leaving or it seems like you’re being sacked.

That was my first thought too.