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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to send them school when I won't be at work?

27 replies

Justneedadvice636465 · 03/01/2021 06:36

So schools are closed here for me but I am classed as a key worker so they can still go.

I work 3 sometimes 4 days a week on shift work. I'm not on the roster so I get given any shift, any day etc but we can swap duties so I usually I work nights while the kids are at school as I can't work the school hours. My shifts start/finish random times like 5.47am start or 02.39am finish etc its not your straight on the hour start or finish. When schools shut before I worked nights still as their dad (were not together) works during the day so would have them in the evening when I work then leave for work in the morning. Usually I get home around 2.30-3.30 in the morning. I will usually nap for a few hours then get them up do breakfast clothes etc then drop them school and then come back and get more sleep before school run in the afternoon. The school were aware of this last time and were really nice about me 'needing to get my sleep too' but this time I can't help but feel really bad that they are going school while I sleep.

Of course if they don't go I don't really sleep during the day which is hard when I go work as I need to have 100% concentration but I just can't help but feel I'm putting the kids at risk and the teachers too. I know I need the rest and I'm not just sending them to send them but I just feel bad. Aibu to still send them to school when technically I won't be working at the time they are in school?

OP posts:

WhatInFreshHell · 03/01/2021 06:41

IMO you're not sleeping because you're lazy, you're sleeping to enable you to go to work overnight, earn money and keep a roof over your heads.

MarthasGinYard · 03/01/2021 06:41

How weird it must be to have to be I. Work for 2.39 etc specifically.

How long are the shifts is it only 3 a week?

DorisDaisyMay · 03/01/2021 06:41

Why is you resting so you can do your job unimportant?

If I were in your care, I would want you to be able to look after me to the best of your ability.

You might function okay for a week or so but this is going to have an accumulated affect on you, and if you get tired and stressed ((because you are human and physical and have needs) then in the nicest possible way, it all goes to shit.

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2021 06:42

Personally I wouldn’t, for their own safety.

shouldistop · 03/01/2021 06:45

Sleep is a basic human requirement. Of course yanbu

bartymao · 03/01/2021 06:48

You owe it to your children not to be trying to look after them when you need to sleep and to your colleagues and or service users not to be tired at work.

Original poster

Justneedadvice636465 · 03/01/2021 06:53

Thanks guys. My shifts are 8hrs long with a half hour unpaid break so 8.30hrs in total so not long compared to others I usually work 4 days but I'm trying to use some Al to drop my days to 3 so less time needing school but I also have to save some for the half terms but can only do this for 2 more weeks before I have no Al left so if they stay shut longer I will be doing 4 days.

OP posts:

Original poster

Justneedadvice636465 · 03/01/2021 06:56

@MarthasGinYard

How weird it must be to have to be I. Work for 2.39 etc specifically.

How long are the shifts is it only 3 a week?

That would be the finish time start times are from 5.30 know it's strange but we work literally work to a minute by minute timetable so every minute counts. They are 8hr working 30 min break.

OP posts:

Stupidusernamefaff · 03/01/2021 06:57

If you’re working nights you need to sleep in the day! Don’t feel guilty! Anyone who’s worked goths would understand how hard they are, especially if you’re not getting enough sleep! I used to work with a nurse who told me that when she was younger when her kids were little, she worked nights and slept on the sofa in the day with her kids around her- I don’t know how she survived!

Iggly · 03/01/2021 06:57

You’re a key worker.

You’re working shifts so need to sleep when they’re at school!

YANBU

Subordinateclause · 03/01/2021 06:58

Of course you should have time to sleep. I'd be more than happy to teach your children so you could. There was a parent nurse in this situation at our school last time and the head didn't blink an eye, even though he was quite strict generally about who was eligible to attend.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 03/01/2021 06:59

You wouldn't be able to function for long on so little sleep, and it could be dangerous driving to/from work for example.

Key worker/vulnerable kids only = much less crowding etc in school so safer than normal, so I would send them in.

Original poster

Justneedadvice636465 · 03/01/2021 07:03

Thank you all so much I just hated the thought I was putting them and the teachers/other children at risk when I'm home I know I need to sleep so will be sending them in. ❤️

OP posts:

CrotchBurn · 03/01/2021 07:05

Of course you're not being unreasonable. You deserve this. Enjoy your break x

BumbleBeegu · 03/01/2021 07:21

If it makes you feel better, you don't have to send them in every day...you can say that you'll send them in, say, Monday's and Wednesday's and keep them home the other 3 days when you are not on shift, or will need less sleep (or whatever).

itsgettingweird · 03/01/2021 07:23

You are a keyworker.

The provision is there for situations like this.

You can always compromise and send them 3/4 days if that's all you need if you can manage that. That's your choice and one you need to make yourself based on your own thought processes.

midnightstar66 · 03/01/2021 07:49

Send them, you are a key worker and entitled to the space. (I say that as someone who works in a school) it's more complicated to mix and match days tbh. Better for everyone to have a standard routine

midnightstar66 · 03/01/2021 07:51

Thank you all so much I just hated the thought I was putting them and the teachers/other children at risk when I'm home I know I need to sleep so will be sending them in

Do what you can to lessen this by sticking carefully to guidelines and testing with any symptoms.

Bettydot · 03/01/2021 08:03

You’re not being unreasonable at all. You’re working nights and need to sleep so you can do your job safely and look after your children properly too.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/01/2021 08:06

YANBU. You need to get proper rest to be able to do your job efficiently. Send them in.

TheHoneyBadger · 03/01/2021 08:14

Who will be with the children while you work at night?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/01/2021 09:45

Honey she says their dad has them in the OP.

TheHoneyBadger · 03/01/2021 11:04

Oh I read it as if he was now out of the picture.

OP you are approaching this as if they only have one parent and your options are key worker place for the kids or you never sleeping. What about him?

Tal45 · 03/01/2021 11:07

You're important and need to look after yourself too, do what you need to do. The teachers will be there for others even if you don't send yours.

TheHoneyBadger · 03/01/2021 11:12

Yeah but numbers make a difference. I'm just not getting why it's op or school when there's a father in the picture I'm seeing it a lot on here in various forms.

Like, women saying how are they going to cope and when they finally mention the father he can't possibly be expected to contribute to childcare for their own children because they have terribly important jobs when the conversation hasn't even taken place with the father.

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