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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friends and xmas presents

44 replies

racletteyum · 01/01/2021 20:41

Been mulling over this for a couple of days now.... before Xmas I sent a present to a friend's little girl - bought it online and had it delivered to hers with a card. Not heard anything about the present since. I know it's been delivered because I got a notification from the delivery company.

We usually don't do presents although I've known her for over 20 years but I wanted to get them something because this year has been particularly tough for them. We've been in touch since but no mention of it. Not sure if she's just being rude or whether they've misdelivered it or something.

AINBU to assume that a friend would mention it in passing - i.e. cheers for DDs present

AIBU - let it go and dont worry about it

OP posts:
Illy605 · 01/01/2021 20:42

Just message and ask “Did you get that present from me ok?!”
She’s probably put it under the tree with every other present and forgotten to thank you when her daughter opened it.

katy1213 · 01/01/2021 20:45

Thought I was doing quite well as I've written and stamped the thank you letters this afternoon - but it's so cold, they're still haven't been posted. No collection today, anyway.

EllyNC · 01/01/2021 20:47

Maybe she’s sending a card?
I’d gently ask if it arrived- there’s a lot going on in the world right now and it’s been a busy week or 2 for most people so it may have just slipped her mind.
You sound like a lovely friend.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 01/01/2021 20:48

I'd check that OP I've had multiple stuff delivered saying 'handed to resident' which in covid time simply means left on the doorstep. In full view of everyone walking past.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 01/01/2021 20:48

Whether you are home or not

nimbuscloud · 01/01/2021 20:50

I got a notification from the delivery company.

Three times I was notified that parcels had been delivered to me. Three different neighbours had received them.

partyatthepalace · 01/01/2021 20:59

Just ask. Might have gone to neighbour.

Needahug72 · 01/01/2021 21:13

@LoveMyKidsAndCats

I'd check that OP I've had multiple stuff delivered saying 'handed to resident' which in covid time simply means left on the doorstep. In full view of everyone walking past.
Exactly this I have had several parcels including a new mobile phone and a coffee machine marked as delivered when they have been left on the doorstep when I was out.

Delivery drivers are just leaving parcels now.

Original poster
racletteyum · 01/01/2021 21:17

thanks! Am really not waiting for a card or anything - just literally not sure what happened, equally don't want to come across as annoying if they got it but weren't bothered.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 01/01/2021 21:19

It's so easy to let things slip your mind at Christmas though. There's so much to think about and so many people to thank. I would just send a nice message saying hi I sent a present for x but I sent it direct to you so just checking it arrived and was okay for her!!

Easy :)

LindaEllen · 01/01/2021 21:20

@LoveMyKidsAndCats

I'd check that OP I've had multiple stuff delivered saying 'handed to resident' which in covid time simply means left on the doorstep. In full view of everyone walking past.
Same. I had something nicked because two blokes were following a Hermes van and picking up parcels that weren't collected - the drivers weren't even waiting for us to answer the door though; literally knocked once, put the parcel on the step and drove off, not seeming to care if we were there or not.
FurloughOrNo · 01/01/2021 21:35

I had a gift turn up for DD on her 1st birthday. No card and no clue who it came from. I spent ages going through and contacting people I thought it could be from. Nothing. Month later a distant relative messaged asking if we got the gift! She had included a note/card when ordering but we never got it!

Fieldofyellowflowers · 01/01/2021 21:36

A card could be on it's way. Have you had snow over the last few days? That could have held the post up.

If you want to check that they got it ok, just send her a text

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 01/01/2021 21:38

Just pop a quick text to day forgot to ask but just checking your dd got gift we sent as I know lots of delays etc at xmas or something like that

SeasonFinale · 01/01/2021 21:39

Crikey - it is less than a week since Christmas day and includes 3 bank holiday days. Even if they have gotten round to thank you notes I wouldn't expect one until mid January. Give the poor woman a chance to do that before asking.

LagneyandCasey · 01/01/2021 21:41

Even if she is in the process of sending a thank you card it seems odd that you've been in contact and she didn't mention it. I would just ask her if the parcel was delivered.

Original poster
racletteyum · 01/01/2021 21:47

thats what i was wondering....if you've been in touch two-three times already would anyone really wait to write a thank you card or just say - yeah mate, cheers!

anyway, am probably just over thinking it all

OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 01/01/2021 21:47

Have you spoken since Christmas and it’s not been mentioned?
I’d wait until mid- January, most thank-you cards/letter arrive 2/3 weeks after Christmas.

AliBear90 · 01/01/2021 21:51

Depends I guess. We have just posted through letterboxes and mailed out further away thank you cards today as they only arrived yesterday (ordered Boxing Day so we knew how many to buy). But I have made sure to message everyone who got our daughter a gift and always send them photos of her with the gift too although she is only 1 and a half so she might not agree to that when she’s older.

CakeRequired · 01/01/2021 21:55

I would just ask if it arrived to be honest. Can't see how anyone would get annoyed by that. You aren't demanding a thank you, just checking it did get there. Some delivery drivers lie after all, say they delivered it but left it in a bin (yes IN a bin).

Topseyt · 01/01/2021 21:58

Give it a few more days. If you still hear nothing then just send her a polite message asking her to confirm that they received it.

Say that you just want to ascertain that is didn't go astray.

bellie710 · 01/01/2021 21:59

I have had 5 deliveries in the last 2 months that said delivered which were not and have gone awol. Message and say just checking if you got the parcel I sent you, had so many parcels undelivered just checking :)

MindyStClaire · 01/01/2021 22:05

@LindaEllen

It's so easy to let things slip your mind at Christmas though. There's so much to think about and so many people to thank. I would just send a nice message saying hi I sent a present for x but I sent it direct to you so just checking it arrived and was okay for her!!

Easy :)

This, plus we're still opening stuff people have sent our toddler, she was completely overwhelmed at Christmas and so we have held back anything not given in person. I have friends who have said similar.
waydownwego · 01/01/2021 22:07

I'd mention it, in case it had been delivered to the wrong address.

I wouldn't expect a thank you card, but I'd expect a very quick text or for it to be mentioned in passing when chatting. Bit odd to not mention at all if actually received!

Incrediblytired · 01/01/2021 22:14

I’ve only just started doing thank you cards with my daughter today...and she only has the concentration for 3 at a time so It’ll be a while...I think generally I text and said thank you when things arrived though - I like to confirm receipt