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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what ingredient succesful people have?

111 replies

malificent7 · 31/12/2020 20:33

I mean is it talent, drive, ambition, good luck, timing etc or all of the above?
There are so many talented people out there who really deserve fame and fortune then someone like me who eorks hard but barely scrapes by and dosn't excel in anything.
When I look at the honours list I am in awe...from Lewis Hamilton to an Occupational Therapist who has made innovations in her field...all exceptional people.

OP posts:
MaudHatter · 01/01/2021 19:25

Connections

Cosmos123 · 01/01/2021 20:53

Luck
Good health
Postive attitude
Friends or family who are supportive

partyatthepalace · 01/01/2021 21:09

Drive and focus I think -

Lots of people work hard and have ambitions, but you have to have a very clear idea of what you want, and focus all your energy on making it happen. Not wasting time working hard on stuff that doesn’t serve your goal, and not wasting time getting upset about criticism, politics, resilience and ability to just keep moving forward when things go wrong.

Reasonable self belief / Cautious optimism/ability to take calculated risks also important

I think this applies however big, small your goals are.

MaudHatter · 01/01/2021 21:16

I don’t measure someone’s success by how much money they earn . Some of the biggest plonkers in the world are rich beyond my wildness dreams . The likes of The Kar family ( I can’t be bothered to google how to spell it )
I don’t see them as being any more successful in life as I am .

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 21:33

I think a successful person is a person who considers themselves to have succeeded. It can't be judged externally. Eckhart Tolle was successful when he lived on a park bench for 2 years, having given up all his possessions and quit his budding academic career, because that's when he learned to be contented.

I'm sure he wouldn't have been regarded as 'successful' in conventional terms, though.

Faith50 · 01/01/2021 21:34

Interesting thread.

To me, success is:
Well educated - 1st or top 2nd degree, Masters or PHD
Earning well - over £100,000
Senior manangement position or business owner
Able to afford to send your children to private school
Able to afford a 4 bedroom house over 1600 square foot
Savings equivalent to yearly salary
Confident
Risk taker
Willing to make mistakes and learn from them
Networker
Believing you have or are that something special

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 21:36

@Faith50

There's a hell of a lot of very successful people you would class as being unsuccessful!

JanBanjoVi · 01/01/2021 21:36

That's very specific.

DarcyJack · 01/01/2021 21:44

Its smart work rather than hard work. The ability to step back, look at what you are doing and change it if it isn't getting you what you want. Loads of people work harder than me but I lead the department and I'm good at it.
Also realising that 90% of the work is done in 10% of the time. The rest of the time is spent fussing around the edges. So if smart working people are asked to produce a spreadsheet, they put the data in the spreadsheet and send if off quick, with a note saying if you need anything else get back to me. Hard working enter the data, then try and guess what else the person might want, then ask the person sitting next to them to check it, then go home and worry about it, then format it differently, then send it off a bit late.
By which time the smart worker has done five other things.

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 22:54

Also realising that 90% of the work is done in 10% of the time

This is a good tip for life in general. I do exactly the same job as several colleagues, and they take all day doing what I get done in about an hour. I don't know how they make it take so long. They're definitely busy and stressed. I think they worry and procrastinate a lot. We're not paid to worry and procrastinate! Do it and have done with it.

KosherSalt · 01/01/2021 23:27

@Eckhart

Also realising that 90% of the work is done in 10% of the time

This is a good tip for life in general. I do exactly the same job as several colleagues, and they take all day doing what I get done in about an hour. I don't know how they make it take so long. They're definitely busy and stressed. I think they worry and procrastinate a lot. We're not paid to worry and procrastinate! Do it and have done with it.

God, yes. I used to have a colleague who became a friend, who did exactly the same job as I did at the same workplace, and was notorious for being poorly organised and perennially late for deadlines, so I was often a bit taken aback that he was always in long before me in the mornings, and stayed long after I left — he did have a longer commute, but was easily out of the house daily from 7 am till 7.30 pm or later.

Because we lived a long way apart it was quite a while before I met his wife, whom I liked immediately, and who’d clearly been picking up the slack with their children for years as well as working ft. I realised a bit later that she had realised we had the same job and was asking in a roundabout way about my general hours, responsibilities and whether I went in at weekends much and looking grimmer and grimmer.

Turns out my colleague had convinced her — and, in fairness, himself — that he absolutely needed to be in the office ten hours a day five or six days a week just to keep up with the workload, whereas I got far more done working from home two days a week, did the morning school run daily and was never home later than six, often five, to pick up DS from afterschool.

I don’t think he was consciously lying — he was just a total time waster and faffer.

She realised she’d been rushing around juggling kids and work while he browsed on the internet between bits of half-hearted work, coffee breaks, staring at the wall and having to reinvent the wheel on a regular basis because he hadn’t kept a record last time.

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