To wonder what ingredient succesful people have?

[malificent7]

I mean is it talent, drive, ambition, good luck, timing etc or all of the above?
There are so many talented people out there who really deserve fame and fortune then someone like me who eorks hard but barely scrapes by and dosn't excel in anything.
When I look at the honours list I am in awe...from Lewis Hamilton to an Occupational Therapist who has made innovations in her field...all exceptional people.

I do think having money to fall back on helps you, you can take more risks.
If I tried a business venture and failed, I'd lose my house and everything I've ever strived hard for, a gamble I'm not willing to take despite me having some great ideas over the years.
Being well connected helps too.

I do think having money to fall back on helps you, you can take more risks

Equally having no money gives you a nothing to lose mentality. DH come from nothing, no family, no money but his appetite for risk taking within the context of business is terrifying to me.

Talent and drive
Right place at the right time
Good connections
The ability to take a well considered risk but to also know your limits and not overstep
Backing support ( family / partner being behind you )
Backing financially
Having a good idea that you follow through with
Optimistic attitude
Energy
Willingness to take the rough with the smooth
an entrepreneurial attitude

I feel genetic make up plays a big part. Yes yes people work hard, but they can work, effectively, on the right things. Have the energy and drive to do well. The lottery of being able to work with people, be understood, be intelligence, ambitious.

And so on.

Not that I'm bitter about my addled brain

Mine was luck and talent. There are many other talented people in my industry but I was noticed very very young and then established relationships and a name for myself with in the industry.
I have travelled to most countries for my job, worked I’m so many diff areas with in it

• tv, theatre, fashion shoots and film Industry.

I worked super hard but I also know there was a degree of luck.

Dh works with a guy who came from money and its had the opposite effect. He has no motivation to succeed himself because everything gets handed to him on a plate so he's drifting badly at work.

Tragedy often. I'm sure I read a high percentage of CEOs lost a parent in childhood

Doing well in work is, in my experience, treating people as you'd like to be treated yourself mostly. So answer emails calls etc efficiently, respond to questions, provide the service or information and be as helpful as you can be and people will respond well to it.

Be dour /sour/surly/huffy etc and people won't respond well .

It might not be the gold ticket to success, but it's a blumin good way to keep happy while you go about making a living.

Op I think when you're surrounded by a nice privileged life it can be hard to realise your true position in the world, hence the crumbling under pressure. I would suggest working in a gritty field - social care, youth offending etc. I think it would bring you more personal fulfillment and help you redefine career success.

I think you need to be a bit strategic. Figure out where the opportunities are and follow them.

I worked in a company that took interns for 4 weeks. It was easy to get an internship, but getting a job was tough. The ones who did read the room very quickly, figured out who to impress and achieved it (no easy task in that time frame).

Plenty of talented/smart grads fell through the net because they worked hard, but without being visible to the people who mattered. It’s things like that make a difference.

And also resilience. Things don’t always work out. You have to keep putting yourself out there and not let it knock your confidence.

I agree with whoever wrote about doing.
Some people do.
Some people wish (and some of them talk about wishing all the time).
It's like with lottery. You may wish to win a lottery, but unless you go and buy the ticket, you are not going to.
I met so many "wish" people. I don't ever comment until they say it number of times, because we all say from time to time "I wish".
Example of repeating "wish" person.
"I wish I had my own business and worked for myself."
"I can recommend some start up support if you have a plan. Do you want the contact?"
"Oh. No. I don't know what I would do and it looks like lots of hours."
🤷🏻
Week later, the same thing repeats. Except my offer.

I have a friend who applied for uni, sorry, started an application, for a course she was dying to do 5x. 5 years. Like clockwork.
"I wish I did that course"
"Do the hours work for you?"
"Yeah! It's part time. Pretty good. Help me fill up ucas application?"
So we start... Every year. I said no last year. Ucas deadline is coming... She already started texting more.

Also. Re your list of "what should make you successful. Not necessarily. Many people around me who I consider successful (good business or very good job) are first or second gen immigrants who came in with suitcase and few hundred quid at best. No UK qualifications and many of them are absolutely not academic. Some would barely manage college, let alone uni.
But! They play on their strenghts! I know a sparky who makes more than my solicitor lol, builder who retired at 60 with x houses, no mortgage on his house, money and a ferrari as a pressie for himself. People who started in takeaways after arriving here and now own chain of restaurants and others who started similarly and own few too. Some who made it into great positions in hotels or property companies (these are bit more academic, just to add).

They did, they thought about how to do, they used their strenghts, they learned and they keep doing so, not just academically (for example food research for trends is a must in certain food places).

It will be a combination of factors but anecdotally the two most "successful" men I know (if you're defining it as professional/financial success) would have literally shit on top of family and friends to get to where they are. There's a ruthlessness that I personally wouldn't be able to stomach. There's always a motive to their actions - if it gets them ahead they'll do it. They'll both be very nice and helpful at times but you'll find it's because it's worth their while in some way.

Obviously nice people become successful too! It's just a lot easier when you don't care about those around you.

I know 2 people who are really successful (CEO/CTO before 40 type successful - I do agree there are different ways to be successful but I would see these 2 as exceptional). One had the middle class upbringing, good education etc the other left school at 16, no qualifications, tough upbringing. What they do have in common is drive, ambition, and intelligence/aptitude for what they do. But beyond that they are just a bit “extra” - charismatic and really determined to tread their own path. I can’t really put my finger on it but they are a breed apart!

There's a few types of successful people:

Type one:
You are talented, strategic, work very hard, likeable. Also have a lot of self confidence and no imposter syndrome. I have two friends who have written to individuals/ companies pitching themselves for their dream job (not anything that was advertised, but basically what they wanted to do) and have gotten them. They are both hugely talented and saw that their current roles weren't progressing fast enough and took action.

Type two:
You've had an interesting role or important contact that you milk for years. I've meet completely useless people who have worked somewhere like the BBC who milk that connection for years.

Type three:
They put themselves first constantly, not just at the expense of their colleagues but also families. A parent at school owns a small empire of rental properties but gives the nanny £10 a week for food for two children.

For a lot of people I think it's confidence in their own decisions. So it's not just that they are decisive but the confidence encourages others to get on board with their way of thinking.

My DH is what I would call pretty successful, and for him it’s a mixture of intelligence, hard work, and luck/opportunity. He had an excellent opportunity about 20 years ago that involved moving to the other side of the world, and that has really shaped his career. He’s also just a teeny bit arrogant which really helps because he genuinely believes he deserves it all. He’s made some pretty big contributions to his field and is well respected. He has won awards and accolades and has a reasonably high profile internationally for his speciality.

I probably wouldn’t consider myself in the same league success wise, but I’m 10 years younger and have made career sacrifices for the family. That said, I’m pretty successful in what I do, albeit not a superstar in the same way. I’m much more of a soldier and a team player, I’m very tenacious. I’m also very knowledgeable mostly because I have an amazing memory and very quick recall. Like some PP I can remember pretty much everyone I’ve ever met and the context. I’m a very big pragmatist, but also able to see the opportunities and chase them, which makes me good at what I do. I have won awards/recognition for my work contributions but mostly small and at local/organisational level. I suffer from imposter syndrome (like most women) which holds me back.

We have both overcome disadvantaged starting points, him coming the the U.K. as a child and me growing up on a council estate/first generation in HE etc. I think that gives us a shared drive, but I think he strives for more where I am looking for contentment.

Professional success IMO often means putting work before everything and everyone else. Working long hours. Sucking up to clients but knowing when to speak up because you are the expert. Always being polite and professional. Being able to read the room. Being smart and open minded. Thinking on your feet. Problem solving. Motivating others. Having the ability to manage and get the best out of people. Unparalleled drive. Ambition. Resilience. Welcoming feedback. And more. It's a long list.

@ajandjjmum

Depends how you define successful. A stellar career, loads of money, a happy family life? I truly believe that no-one has it all - most of us just try to make the best deal of the hand we're dealt.

Maybe a mixture of hard work and luck?

I opened the thread to say .... exactly this.

Drive, grit, positivity and cultivating useful contacts.

Self esteem

Restlessness. Always looking to improve the situation and getting out if it's failing. Making clever moves.

@KiKiDeluxe - yes! I tend to look for a new role as soon as I feel I’m not learning any more. I don’t like being in a job where I am just going through the motions, and the last time I got stuck there, I had some babies before moving on.

@malificent7

Thing is I have many things that should make me successful: Work hard Naice middle class family Academic ( think 99% in a recent exam.) Resiliant...been through some shit...keep going. Always believed in my path at the time. Private school.

However was bullued at private school and mum was depreseed. I have very low self esteem and bad mh so have never tasted career success. Plus being bullied has made me introverted..am a happy hermit but wish I had the political ability to succeed.

Try working on your spelling 😉

Seriously, though, the main quality is grit, I believe.

I agree with @SchrodingersImmigrant about the ‘wish people’ who won’t act to make their wish happen. Every time there’s a ‘what would your dream career be?’ thread on here lots of people say ‘author’, but they never sit down and write anything, far less revise it till it’s as good as it can be and send it off to agents over and over, then pick themselves up if they can’t find one and start again. And yes, you can make time to write, even if you’re a parent with a FT job and other commitments — get up earlier, write on your commute, drop hobbies, stop watching TV etc. The difference between the ‘wish’ writers and the published writers is largely just doing it.

There's a lot of privilege in success that's not to say that people don't work hard or make the most of the opportunities that they have. However there's great social inequalities that millions of people face that means they can't take full advantage of the opportunities that come their way. There's a lot in that

But mostly it's different for every one there is no winning formula you have to be willing to create your own formula and plod away at it, for years incremental changes yield the biggest rewards because they are cumulative. Also knowing when to quit is very important recognising what's not going to work and have the courage to walk away.