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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with childminder

63 replies

Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:10

Hi all, first time poster - long time lurker, hoping for some advice on what to do about this.

DC has been going to Childminder since I went back to work in July. Other than a few issues recently, things have generally been okay and DC seems happy going there.

Childminder has made an error with emails/invoices and accidentally sent another parents invoice to us. Not only have I seen the parent's address, the daily rate the childminder is charging them is quite a bit less than what we're being charged for DC.

AIBU to be royally pissed off about this?
Childminder is quite expensive as it is and nothing is included, so to see she is charging other parents less has made me really annoyed.

How would you handle this? Would you respond to the email asking why she is charging other parents less, or leave it? I'll add that we're currently on the waiting list for another nursery / childminder which charges the same but everything is included so will hopefully be leaving soon, but I don't think that's the point. Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

OP posts:

VinterKvinna · 30/12/2020 15:13

Personally i would reply to it, and let her know firstly that she has sent personal information to you instead of where she meant to.

Secondly, I would ask why the rates are different? It could be anything from how many hours they use, relationship with cm, or how long they have been with her?

Butchyrestingface · 30/12/2020 15:14

If you're ending the relationship soon anyway, why rock the boat? I can see why you're annoyed, but I don't think responding to ask why the other child is being charged would be (at all!) appropriate. I'd only be inclined to raise the matter if I intended to continue using her, which you don't.

Absolutely nothing wrong with letting her know about the mistake with the invoices though. I would definitely do that.

napody · 30/12/2020 15:14

Daily rate, not hourly? Are you 100% sure they do the same hours? Is one of you term time only?

To be honest....I'm nosy and wondering the rate! They really don't vary much round here, all £4.50-£5.50 ph....

SilenceOfThePrams · 30/12/2020 15:15

I would assume that the other parent has had children with the childminder for longer than you have, and that the childminder charges higher rates to new clients rather than raising rates for existing families.

Alternatively, that the other family has negotiated a discount for some reason - multiple children, friend or family rate, or is subsidised in some way.

I’d be annoyed at the data breech but I’d not have read further once I realised it wasn’t my invoice to be honest.

princessjasmineofagrabah · 30/12/2020 15:17

Different age child? Rates vary based on ages in all pre school and nursery settings I've ever viewed

formerbabe · 30/12/2020 15:18

Yabvu...You have no idea why this is the case. Perhaps the other child is entitled to a certain amount of subsidized hours? Who knows. Don't say anything.

Crunchymum · 30/12/2020 15:19

I'd certainly point out the error and ask the question.

As others say though, there are many reason rates differ so I doubt it is anything untoward.

LastRoloIsMine · 30/12/2020 15:20

Different hours?
No meals or snacks provided?
Discount for multiple children?
There's was an old rate and she put her prices up after their contract was signed but before yours?

formerbabe · 30/12/2020 15:21

I wouldn't ask the question. It's none of the ops business. I'd point out the error in sending out the invoice to the wrong parent but don't question the amount.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 30/12/2020 15:21

Why did you keep reading once you realised?

Alexandernevermind · 30/12/2020 15:22

I would certainly be asking the question in a none confrontational way. We are all far too polite where finances are concerned. As others said it might be because she has to travel further, different ages, multiple children etc, but if you don't ask you will always wonder.

Mrgrinch · 30/12/2020 15:22

I would ask. You have nothing to lose if you're going elsewhere anyway.

Original poster

Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:23

Thanks all for your posts.

To be honest I agree that there isn't much point rocking the boat as we are hoping to leave her soon, just think she should be a bit more on the ball with things like this.

That child has only started with the childminder recently, so we have been with her longer and my DC does less hours than their child.

Agreed that their costs may be subsided for whatever reason (none of my business), will advise of the data breach and move along.

Far too much shit has happened this year to be having 'fall outs' over this!

OP posts:

formerbabe · 30/12/2020 15:24

I don't know the rules and am not an expert but do some people on a lower income get extra subsidised childcare hours from the government?

christinarossetti19 · 30/12/2020 15:24

You need to let the childminder know about her breach of confidentiality.

In terms of the rates, it sounds like you're not that happy anyway as you are looking to move, so I'm not sure what you would gain by bringing this up?

I can imagine that it's annoying, but there may well be a reason for ie eg other child is different age, using childcare vouchers, mates rates etc.

NothingICanDo · 30/12/2020 15:24

Yes as pp said above it could be down to the hours they go, how long they have been with childminder and the age of the child.

Butchyrestingface · 30/12/2020 15:24

Also possible that since she made a mistake sending the invoice to the wrong person, she may also have added the figures up wrongly and charged an incorrect amount?

It would humungous cojones to say to her "As well as sending the invoice to the wrong email account, I notice you have also made a mistake with the invoice amount..."

PeacefulPlease · 30/12/2020 15:25

She probably charges more for younger children, either that or sibling discount - both pretty standard

Designateddiver · 30/12/2020 15:25

My childminder charged me less because I used her for 8 years and I paid her for many hours I didn't use ( unreliable ex so she got paid when ex was meant to have dc incase he didn't show, sort of a retainer), there will be other reasons too, which I wouldn't expect her to share. If you are leaving anyway, I wouldn't bother asking but would tell her you got the wrong invoice

Butchyrestingface · 30/12/2020 15:26

That child has only started with the childminder recently, so we have been with her longer and my DC does less hours than their child.

She may have reduced her fees to try and entice new clients during these straightened times.

Or it may be that she discounts based on the number of hours the child is there for.

Missgemini · 30/12/2020 15:28

Personally, I would ask. But I detest feeling like I'm being ripped off. Not saying she is ripping you off. I'd just like to know why.

That being said, I negotiated with my childminder and got a lower rate than was advertised, so it could just be that.

nannynick · 30/12/2020 15:30

my DC does less hours than their child.
That might be why you pay more. The hours of the day that you are not using may not be able to be sold to anyone else. Always hard to know how rates are calculated.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 30/12/2020 15:31

Sliding scale possibly? If they are on a lower income.

Original poster

Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:32

@Missgemini I think that's it, it was the initial 'hold on a minute ... are we being ripped off here??' but now I've thought about it, there could be a number of reasons why they're being charged less & as I said above, it's quite frankly none of my business. So I'll mention the error from a confidentiality perspective, then leave it.

She will know that I have seen it and may explain the next time I see her, but doesn't matter anyway!

OP posts:

IHaveBrilloHair · 30/12/2020 15:32

Mates rates maybe?
I know I pay my cleaner less than others and that's why.

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